Rough edges
For reasons, which are not clear to me, I recently kept drifting in and out of a dream. The dream has something to do with jagged or rough edges, but that is all I can remember. Perhaps the dream had to do with the speaker at a Narcotics Anonymous meeting I recently attended. Most of my readers know that I attempt to attend one or two 12 step meetings a week since I recommend the 12-step program as one of the primary options for those wanting to recovery from an active addictive disorder. The woman who spoke at the meeting has been in recovery for over 20 years. Once she got into recovery she went back to school and became a certified special education teacher for grade school age children.
This woman spent a lot of time as a child in her parent’s bar where she learned to feed an addiction not only to alcohol but to both the lifestyle and the people who are able to live in that often tough, no nonsense atmosphere; an atmosphere where alcohol, sometime other drugs and living close to the edge of survival toughen the exterior shield and often the heart. All or most who experience this life style report an attraction to living on the edge although eventually the internal and external violence or near violence leaves most exhausted and empty.
Life choices which keep the adrenaline flowing at a fast pace has a certain attraction. The popularity of action sports which present the possibility of imminent danger such as downhill skiing, football, roller coaster, extreme roller blading or biking, and a host of others attract a host of participants and vicarious participants/observers.
Although many of us get very excited about a new poem, paintings, and much of nature for many that is not the same as living on the edge.
Even the most experienced adrenaline junky gets tired of the eventual physical and mental toll of living on the edge in the midst of active addiction.
The speaker at the 12-step meeting – this attractive, elegant, educated woman was honest about the fact that she is still attracted to aspects of living on the edge. She has to remind herself of the destruction this life style holds for the individual and all whose life he or she touches. Children, parents, spouses, neighbors and other live in the rubble of the resulting destruction.
This woman can now get excited about helping others find a new way to live without the guaranteed destruction of active addiction. When she was still teaching, she could, I suspect, get excited about students with special needs who reached a new level of achievement after a lot of work. None of this excitement may match certain aspects of her life in early addiction, but that is the price she pays for living as a member of a community; of living with the knowledge that she is not the center of the universe; of living a life which carries the promise of a warm bed or a decent meal; of living a life which does not leave destruction in one’s wake.
One of the reasons why the 12-step program can be successful for many is that many recovering addict can identify with the pull of living on the edge as well as the pain of doing so. That level of identification and honesty is necessary if one wants to help the recovering addict, the veteran returning from an active war zone, or the gang member who is going to make new choices.
A mental health counselor can often be helpful to the recovering addict or others recovery from trauma, but only someone who has lived on the edge can truly understand and appreciate the attraction and the danger. As a mental health counselor, I need to remember this.
Written November 6, 2018
For reasons, which are not clear to me, I recently kept drifting in and out of a dream. The dream has something to do with jagged or rough edges, but that is all I can remember. Perhaps the dream had to do with the speaker at a Narcotics Anonymous meeting I recently attended. Most of my readers know that I attempt to attend one or two 12 step meetings a week since I recommend the 12-step program as one of the primary options for those wanting to recovery from an active addictive disorder. The woman who spoke at the meeting has been in recovery for over 20 years. Once she got into recovery she went back to school and became a certified special education teacher for grade school age children.
This woman spent a lot of time as a child in her parent’s bar where she learned to feed an addiction not only to alcohol but to both the lifestyle and the people who are able to live in that often tough, no nonsense atmosphere; an atmosphere where alcohol, sometime other drugs and living close to the edge of survival toughen the exterior shield and often the heart. All or most who experience this life style report an attraction to living on the edge although eventually the internal and external violence or near violence leaves most exhausted and empty.
Life choices which keep the adrenaline flowing at a fast pace has a certain attraction. The popularity of action sports which present the possibility of imminent danger such as downhill skiing, football, roller coaster, extreme roller blading or biking, and a host of others attract a host of participants and vicarious participants/observers.
Although many of us get very excited about a new poem, paintings, and much of nature for many that is not the same as living on the edge.
Even the most experienced adrenaline junky gets tired of the eventual physical and mental toll of living on the edge in the midst of active addiction.
The speaker at the 12-step meeting – this attractive, elegant, educated woman was honest about the fact that she is still attracted to aspects of living on the edge. She has to remind herself of the destruction this life style holds for the individual and all whose life he or she touches. Children, parents, spouses, neighbors and other live in the rubble of the resulting destruction.
This woman can now get excited about helping others find a new way to live without the guaranteed destruction of active addiction. When she was still teaching, she could, I suspect, get excited about students with special needs who reached a new level of achievement after a lot of work. None of this excitement may match certain aspects of her life in early addiction, but that is the price she pays for living as a member of a community; of living with the knowledge that she is not the center of the universe; of living a life which carries the promise of a warm bed or a decent meal; of living a life which does not leave destruction in one’s wake.
One of the reasons why the 12-step program can be successful for many is that many recovering addict can identify with the pull of living on the edge as well as the pain of doing so. That level of identification and honesty is necessary if one wants to help the recovering addict, the veteran returning from an active war zone, or the gang member who is going to make new choices.
A mental health counselor can often be helpful to the recovering addict or others recovery from trauma, but only someone who has lived on the edge can truly understand and appreciate the attraction and the danger. As a mental health counselor, I need to remember this.
Written November 6, 2018
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