Who or what stole Jim?
I was talking with a friend who has been back in recovery for his disease of addiction for 19 days now. Yesterday morning he began the day very spiritually centered – grateful, humble, willing to learn and patient with self and others. By the time he got to work he was grumpy, judgmental, generally out of sorts and nothing like the man who had been so spiritually centered just an hour or so earlier.
This morning it was my turn. I began the day grateful and spiritually centered although a bit tired. Yet when something which was important to me happened over which I had no control Mr. Grump decided to make an appearance. As is often the case, I felt as if Mr. Grump was someone other than me. Yet, he seems to be speaking from a body which looked exactly like mine! At such times, it is as if I can stand outside of myself and observe this sudden kidnapping of my being. Fortunately, Mr. Grump did not do anything which required amends, but his tone of voice was far removed from the cheery, kind voice which had begun the day.
In my role as counselor I often have occasion to remind those clients for/with whom I am working:
Many illnesses affect how one’s brain functions. Being lonely, hungry, tired, or filled with anger can also affect how one’s brain works. Depression, addiction, tiredness and other conditions/factors can acutely affect how one processes incoming stimuli or even if one is able to process that stimuli. When we cannot process incoming stimuli, we may experience what I call a New York style traffic jam in that part of our brain. Our first automatic reaction may be to push away stimuli with anger. Anger is a pushing away action. It would be lovely if one could simply say, “Excuse me, my brain seems unable to process incoming stimuli just now. I need to take a break but I promise to come back and deal with that issue later today (or whenever)”. Occasionally one might communicate a shorter, simpler version of needing a break. Yet, even that might not be possible. If the cause of the brain dysfunction is a tumor, addiction to alcohol or other drugs or even dementia then one simply cannot think clearly enough to respond lovingly.
Dementia, for example, might signal that the person that one has been all one’s life is gone much of the time. That is not to say that the dementia defines the person. It is to say that the physical body one is seeing is not the person who has formerly occupied that body.
No matter how often I work with/for those living with addiction or some form of mental illness I never cease to be amazed at what happens when the person begins to heal. Often this self-centered, angry, blaming person becomes this loving, charming, responsible person who is a delight.
Human have been separating each other by the “degree” of this sin or, as I like to say, their sin points for as long as history has been recorded. While I can accept that some ways of hurting others are more permanent and may affect more people, I seem unable to come up with what seems to be a scientifically sound method for deciding which one of us is the most hurtful or has the most sin points. I do accept that some of us might be more immediately dangerous and need to have our movement restricted. Yet, I know that daily I actively or passively hurt others. I am also, much of the time, a very loving, considerate, responsible person who is easy to love.
Am I the sinner or the saint? Will the real Jim Pickett please stand up!
Written May 9, 2018
I was talking with a friend who has been back in recovery for his disease of addiction for 19 days now. Yesterday morning he began the day very spiritually centered – grateful, humble, willing to learn and patient with self and others. By the time he got to work he was grumpy, judgmental, generally out of sorts and nothing like the man who had been so spiritually centered just an hour or so earlier.
This morning it was my turn. I began the day grateful and spiritually centered although a bit tired. Yet when something which was important to me happened over which I had no control Mr. Grump decided to make an appearance. As is often the case, I felt as if Mr. Grump was someone other than me. Yet, he seems to be speaking from a body which looked exactly like mine! At such times, it is as if I can stand outside of myself and observe this sudden kidnapping of my being. Fortunately, Mr. Grump did not do anything which required amends, but his tone of voice was far removed from the cheery, kind voice which had begun the day.
In my role as counselor I often have occasion to remind those clients for/with whom I am working:
- None of us can be defined by our illness. We are not our illness whether that be depression, chronic pain, addiction, anxiety, eating disorder or some other.
- None of us can be known, understood or defined by our worst deed. We are all more than that.
Many illnesses affect how one’s brain functions. Being lonely, hungry, tired, or filled with anger can also affect how one’s brain works. Depression, addiction, tiredness and other conditions/factors can acutely affect how one processes incoming stimuli or even if one is able to process that stimuli. When we cannot process incoming stimuli, we may experience what I call a New York style traffic jam in that part of our brain. Our first automatic reaction may be to push away stimuli with anger. Anger is a pushing away action. It would be lovely if one could simply say, “Excuse me, my brain seems unable to process incoming stimuli just now. I need to take a break but I promise to come back and deal with that issue later today (or whenever)”. Occasionally one might communicate a shorter, simpler version of needing a break. Yet, even that might not be possible. If the cause of the brain dysfunction is a tumor, addiction to alcohol or other drugs or even dementia then one simply cannot think clearly enough to respond lovingly.
Dementia, for example, might signal that the person that one has been all one’s life is gone much of the time. That is not to say that the dementia defines the person. It is to say that the physical body one is seeing is not the person who has formerly occupied that body.
No matter how often I work with/for those living with addiction or some form of mental illness I never cease to be amazed at what happens when the person begins to heal. Often this self-centered, angry, blaming person becomes this loving, charming, responsible person who is a delight.
Human have been separating each other by the “degree” of this sin or, as I like to say, their sin points for as long as history has been recorded. While I can accept that some ways of hurting others are more permanent and may affect more people, I seem unable to come up with what seems to be a scientifically sound method for deciding which one of us is the most hurtful or has the most sin points. I do accept that some of us might be more immediately dangerous and need to have our movement restricted. Yet, I know that daily I actively or passively hurt others. I am also, much of the time, a very loving, considerate, responsible person who is easy to love.
Am I the sinner or the saint? Will the real Jim Pickett please stand up!
Written May 9, 2018
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