Sam asks about bathroom police
I knew it was only a matter of time before my adopted six-year-old niece asked about the bathroom police. I am aware of the facts:
· Some states have passed laws stating that people have to use the restroom of the gender with which they were born.
· Some business’ have similar rules.
· Some business’ such as Target have announced that “it would allow transgender people to choose the restrooms and fitting rooms which corresponded with their gender identities. (nytimes.com April 27, 2016)
· A conservative Christian group has launched a campaign urging people to sign a petition to boycott Target because: “Target’s inclusive stance on transgender rights encourages sexual predators and puts women and young girls in danger because “a man can simply say that he ‘feels’ like a woman today’ and enter the women’s restroom.” (usatoday.com April 28, 2016)
Thus, I was not surprised with Sam’s mother called to say that Sam wanted to come over after dinner to come talk about bathroom police.
Since it was a school night I decided to make the hot chocolate and have it ready for her in her special cup rather than making it together after she got here.
Soon I heard a knock on the door. There was Sam’s mother.
Sam’s mother: Just call and I will come walk her home.
Me: Don’t worry. I will walk her home and come collect that glass of wine you promised.
Sam’s mother: Thanks Jim. Have a good conversation with Uncle Jim, Sam.
Sam: Thanks mom. Hi Uncle Jim!
Me: Hello Sam. Come on it. I just poured your hot chocolate.
Sam: Thanks Uncle Jim.
Me: You are welcome. Mom said you were worried about something. What is you are worried about?
Sam: At school, Tommy said his mother said that now a lot of places and even schools in some states would now have bathroom police to make sure that sure that only boys use the boy’s bathroom and only girls use the girl’s bathroom.
Me: Why did he say that Sam?
Sam: I asked Uncle Jim. At our school only boys go into the boy’s bathroom and only girls go into the girl’s bathroom. There is a bathroom for the kids in wheelchairs or needing assistance.
Me: What did Tommy say?
Sam: He said that those boys who act like girls and the girls who act like boys are being allowed to go into the other bathroom in some places to hurt us. I said, “Oh, you mean transgender people.” They will not hurt us.
Me: What did Tommy say?
Sam: He said, “I don’t know about trans … What did you call the bad people?” I said to Tommy: “Transgender people are people who are born as the wrong gender.” Tommy said, “I don’t know anything about gener. I just know boys are boys and girls are girls and they have to use the right bathroom.”
Me: Tommy does not seem to know words such as gender and Transgender does he?
Sam: Why not, Uncle Jim?
Me: Not all families talk about such terms or issues and not all families believe that people can be born into the wrong gender.
Sam: I thought you said that some babies are born with both genders and the doctor and the family decide to give them one or the other right after they born
Me: We did talk about the fact that some babies – less than one percent – are born as hermaphrodites. The doctor and the parents made a decision to do surgery so that the person is clearly male or female. There is some disagreement about whether this surgery should wait until the person is old enough to make a decision.
Sam: But transgender people have a penis or a vagina and think they have the wrong parts?
Me: That is correct Sam.
Sam: Tommy said that they were going to have bathroom police to make sure that only boys went into the boy’s bathroom and girls went into the girl’s bathroom.
Me: Did you think that is going to happen Sam?
Sam: How else are they going to tell Uncle Jim?
Me: Well, I suppose that the family doctor could issue a gender card and everyone would have to show the gender card.
Sam: What if you forget the card and had to go really bad?
Me: I don’t know. I suppose kids might then have an accident.
Sam: I would hate that Uncle Jim. What about teachers Uncle Jim? Would they have to have gender cards too?
Me: I suppose.
Sam. If they forgot their cards they could have accidents too. Yuk!
Me: It all seems pretty silly doesn’t it Sam? Don’t the toilets have little spaces with doors. You cannot see anyone going into the bathroom.
Sam: Yes, they do. Are bad people really going to come into the bathrooms Uncle Jim?
Me: I have found no studies which prove that transgender people assault people in the bathroom.
Sam: Than why are so many people upset and worried Uncle Jim?
Me: We have talked about the fact that sometimes when we humans do not understand some facts or the facts are not the way we thought God intended them to be then we get confused and frightened. Sometimes we pretend that what we do not understand does not exist or that only bad people pretend to be different. We have talked about treating people who are different than us as if they are bad people.
Sam: That is what we did with black people Uncle Jim.
Me: Yes and many other people. Sometimes, for example, women are still treated as less then and paid less.
Sam: That is dumb and not right Uncle Jim.
Me: I agree.
Sam: Should I ask the teacher about the duties of a bathroom police person Uncle Jim?
Me: I think it is a fair question but be prepared for the teacher getting uncomfortable and possibly getting angry Sometimes we adults get angry when we are uncomfortable.
Sam: Can I ask about the qualifications for becoming a bathroom police officer, Uncle Jim? (Sam is smirking.)
Me: I am not sure that is a good idea Sam.
Sam: Okay. I am tired Uncle Jim. Will you take me home?
Me: I certainly will. I love it when we have these talks. Thanks. Sam.
Sam: (yawning). Welcome Uncle Jim.
Written May 4, 2016
I knew it was only a matter of time before my adopted six-year-old niece asked about the bathroom police. I am aware of the facts:
· Some states have passed laws stating that people have to use the restroom of the gender with which they were born.
· Some business’ have similar rules.
· Some business’ such as Target have announced that “it would allow transgender people to choose the restrooms and fitting rooms which corresponded with their gender identities. (nytimes.com April 27, 2016)
· A conservative Christian group has launched a campaign urging people to sign a petition to boycott Target because: “Target’s inclusive stance on transgender rights encourages sexual predators and puts women and young girls in danger because “a man can simply say that he ‘feels’ like a woman today’ and enter the women’s restroom.” (usatoday.com April 28, 2016)
Thus, I was not surprised with Sam’s mother called to say that Sam wanted to come over after dinner to come talk about bathroom police.
Since it was a school night I decided to make the hot chocolate and have it ready for her in her special cup rather than making it together after she got here.
Soon I heard a knock on the door. There was Sam’s mother.
Sam’s mother: Just call and I will come walk her home.
Me: Don’t worry. I will walk her home and come collect that glass of wine you promised.
Sam’s mother: Thanks Jim. Have a good conversation with Uncle Jim, Sam.
Sam: Thanks mom. Hi Uncle Jim!
Me: Hello Sam. Come on it. I just poured your hot chocolate.
Sam: Thanks Uncle Jim.
Me: You are welcome. Mom said you were worried about something. What is you are worried about?
Sam: At school, Tommy said his mother said that now a lot of places and even schools in some states would now have bathroom police to make sure that sure that only boys use the boy’s bathroom and only girls use the girl’s bathroom.
Me: Why did he say that Sam?
Sam: I asked Uncle Jim. At our school only boys go into the boy’s bathroom and only girls go into the girl’s bathroom. There is a bathroom for the kids in wheelchairs or needing assistance.
Me: What did Tommy say?
Sam: He said that those boys who act like girls and the girls who act like boys are being allowed to go into the other bathroom in some places to hurt us. I said, “Oh, you mean transgender people.” They will not hurt us.
Me: What did Tommy say?
Sam: He said, “I don’t know about trans … What did you call the bad people?” I said to Tommy: “Transgender people are people who are born as the wrong gender.” Tommy said, “I don’t know anything about gener. I just know boys are boys and girls are girls and they have to use the right bathroom.”
Me: Tommy does not seem to know words such as gender and Transgender does he?
Sam: Why not, Uncle Jim?
Me: Not all families talk about such terms or issues and not all families believe that people can be born into the wrong gender.
Sam: I thought you said that some babies are born with both genders and the doctor and the family decide to give them one or the other right after they born
Me: We did talk about the fact that some babies – less than one percent – are born as hermaphrodites. The doctor and the parents made a decision to do surgery so that the person is clearly male or female. There is some disagreement about whether this surgery should wait until the person is old enough to make a decision.
Sam: But transgender people have a penis or a vagina and think they have the wrong parts?
Me: That is correct Sam.
Sam: Tommy said that they were going to have bathroom police to make sure that only boys went into the boy’s bathroom and girls went into the girl’s bathroom.
Me: Did you think that is going to happen Sam?
Sam: How else are they going to tell Uncle Jim?
Me: Well, I suppose that the family doctor could issue a gender card and everyone would have to show the gender card.
Sam: What if you forget the card and had to go really bad?
Me: I don’t know. I suppose kids might then have an accident.
Sam: I would hate that Uncle Jim. What about teachers Uncle Jim? Would they have to have gender cards too?
Me: I suppose.
Sam. If they forgot their cards they could have accidents too. Yuk!
Me: It all seems pretty silly doesn’t it Sam? Don’t the toilets have little spaces with doors. You cannot see anyone going into the bathroom.
Sam: Yes, they do. Are bad people really going to come into the bathrooms Uncle Jim?
Me: I have found no studies which prove that transgender people assault people in the bathroom.
Sam: Than why are so many people upset and worried Uncle Jim?
Me: We have talked about the fact that sometimes when we humans do not understand some facts or the facts are not the way we thought God intended them to be then we get confused and frightened. Sometimes we pretend that what we do not understand does not exist or that only bad people pretend to be different. We have talked about treating people who are different than us as if they are bad people.
Sam: That is what we did with black people Uncle Jim.
Me: Yes and many other people. Sometimes, for example, women are still treated as less then and paid less.
Sam: That is dumb and not right Uncle Jim.
Me: I agree.
Sam: Should I ask the teacher about the duties of a bathroom police person Uncle Jim?
Me: I think it is a fair question but be prepared for the teacher getting uncomfortable and possibly getting angry Sometimes we adults get angry when we are uncomfortable.
Sam: Can I ask about the qualifications for becoming a bathroom police officer, Uncle Jim? (Sam is smirking.)
Me: I am not sure that is a good idea Sam.
Sam: Okay. I am tired Uncle Jim. Will you take me home?
Me: I certainly will. I love it when we have these talks. Thanks. Sam.
Sam: (yawning). Welcome Uncle Jim.
Written May 4, 2016
RSS Feed