School Bells – Current Affairs – Grade 8 – Week 27 -
Learning we can cope with tough emotional issues
Since meeting with this class last week, I have been thinking a and writing about how we learn that we can or cannot cope with really tough issues. I am eager to hear what the students and their families have to say about whether we can do more to teach the skills needed to address tough issues and at what age humans are capable of learning this skill set.
The class members are arriving.
Me: Good morning class.
Class: Good morning Mr. Jim. Cookies?
Me: Yes I have cookies. John and Abdul, will you pass them out please?
They pass them out and in a nano-second they are inhaled.
Me: I am eager to hear what you and your family members think we can do to more effectively teach children how to cope with really tough issues. Who would like to begin?
Amena: My family and I talked about that before we came to this country we knew that there was a lot of danger. There was not any way to keep my siblings and I from knowing about the danger. We had to learn to deal with issues such as the death of family members and other friends as well as the fact that we were always in danger.
Me: What was that like?
Amena: It was scary but it was also a part of our life.
Me: How did that affect other activities such as going to school.
Amena: Some days we did not go to school but we still had to do homework and all our chores. Sometimes my siblings and I would try to get out of doing homework by pointing out that we might die but it never worked
Will: My parents taught us early on what to do if the police stopped us.
Me: What age did they start teaching you about the dangers?
Will: Really young.
Me: Were they angry about that or did you learn to be angry?
Will: I know a lot of people are angry. but my family said that the bad treatment came out of fear and we were not going to respond in a mean or angry way.
Me: Say more about that.
Will: We had pictures in our kitchen of Martin Luther King Jr and Gandhi. My parents said that they were strong, but non-violent. They wanted us to learn the secret of staying strong and not being mean or violent.
Paul: Since we were little, when someone was having a tough time emotionally there would be a family meeting for how we were going to deal with it. We also had to go work at Catholic Charitie and listen to the stories of homeless people. That started when we were really little.
Me: What did you learn from that Paul.
Paul: In both your kitchen and our kitchen is a sign that says, “In this house we ask how. We never say can’t.” When Sam and I were young we sometimes complained about having to go to Catholic Charities and said that we were just kids.
Me: How well did the complaining work?
Paul: Not well at all Uncle Jim!
Susie: We have always talked a lot about how tough the women in our family are. If I said I did not want to talk about something that only worked for a day or so and then I knew I had to talk about everything! Sometimes I hated it but now I know I and my family can deal with anything even if one of us is upset or scared.
John: In our family we cry and hug a lot, but mom and dad tell us that we are strong and can cope with any problem.
Tom: I don’t always feel a part of, but my dad says we men can talk about such emotions. Sometimes I feel really weak and don’t want to talk but everyone in the family has to talk. After I talk I always feel better.
Ann: In our family one of my cousins and one of my uncles are in the AA program. Sometime we go to a meeting when one of them is speaking. They talk about how they used to believe that they could not cope with their problems and would just drink to be numb. Grandma says that these meetings are no place for us children, but my parents say it is important that we hear these stories and learn that we can help each other with any problem.
Me: It sounds as if you children all started to learn to deal with tough issues when you were really young and now are glad that you did. It also sounds as if in all your families adults and children have the same rules for dealing with touch issues.
Will: No one in our family has to cope alone.
Me: I am also hearing that both males and females are learning to be okay with emotions.
Paul: In our family all of us get lots of hugs if are upset but we still have to deal with the issue.
Me: Say more about that Paul.
Paul: This is a little embarrassing but when I was little I would sometimes cry because I did not want to do something but it never worked. I got hugs when I was upset but I still had to do it. I remember when my Uncle John was dying in the hospital and I did not want to go see him. I still had to go and now I am glad I did.
Me: Why are your glad Paul?
Paul: I could tell he was really happy that I came to visit and now when I remember him I think about that fact.
Me: Excellent. It sounds as if everyone is saying:
I will print out this list. I think that we have an unusually healthy group of families represented in this class. Not everyone is so healthy. I wonder why this class is so healthy.
Ann: I wonder if healthy families were more likely to suggest that their children sign up for this class. We did not have to attend the class Mr. Jim.
Me: Good point Ann. So, we are not necessarily reaching a lot of the children who might benefit.
Paul: I wonder why such courses are an elective Uncle Jim.
Me: Good point. You students might want to work with Mrs. Sanford about a Facebook post talking about why you think this sort of class is important.
Time is nearly up. Next week how about we begin to talk about how we decide how much time to spend on TV, the internet, texting and other uses of modern technology. What are advantages and disadvantages?
Amena and Tom. pass out the cookies please. Will. please pass out the assignment.
Written March 1, 2017
Learning we can cope with tough emotional issues
Since meeting with this class last week, I have been thinking a and writing about how we learn that we can or cannot cope with really tough issues. I am eager to hear what the students and their families have to say about whether we can do more to teach the skills needed to address tough issues and at what age humans are capable of learning this skill set.
The class members are arriving.
Me: Good morning class.
Class: Good morning Mr. Jim. Cookies?
Me: Yes I have cookies. John and Abdul, will you pass them out please?
They pass them out and in a nano-second they are inhaled.
Me: I am eager to hear what you and your family members think we can do to more effectively teach children how to cope with really tough issues. Who would like to begin?
Amena: My family and I talked about that before we came to this country we knew that there was a lot of danger. There was not any way to keep my siblings and I from knowing about the danger. We had to learn to deal with issues such as the death of family members and other friends as well as the fact that we were always in danger.
Me: What was that like?
Amena: It was scary but it was also a part of our life.
Me: How did that affect other activities such as going to school.
Amena: Some days we did not go to school but we still had to do homework and all our chores. Sometimes my siblings and I would try to get out of doing homework by pointing out that we might die but it never worked
Will: My parents taught us early on what to do if the police stopped us.
Me: What age did they start teaching you about the dangers?
Will: Really young.
Me: Were they angry about that or did you learn to be angry?
Will: I know a lot of people are angry. but my family said that the bad treatment came out of fear and we were not going to respond in a mean or angry way.
Me: Say more about that.
Will: We had pictures in our kitchen of Martin Luther King Jr and Gandhi. My parents said that they were strong, but non-violent. They wanted us to learn the secret of staying strong and not being mean or violent.
Paul: Since we were little, when someone was having a tough time emotionally there would be a family meeting for how we were going to deal with it. We also had to go work at Catholic Charitie and listen to the stories of homeless people. That started when we were really little.
Me: What did you learn from that Paul.
Paul: In both your kitchen and our kitchen is a sign that says, “In this house we ask how. We never say can’t.” When Sam and I were young we sometimes complained about having to go to Catholic Charities and said that we were just kids.
Me: How well did the complaining work?
Paul: Not well at all Uncle Jim!
Susie: We have always talked a lot about how tough the women in our family are. If I said I did not want to talk about something that only worked for a day or so and then I knew I had to talk about everything! Sometimes I hated it but now I know I and my family can deal with anything even if one of us is upset or scared.
John: In our family we cry and hug a lot, but mom and dad tell us that we are strong and can cope with any problem.
Tom: I don’t always feel a part of, but my dad says we men can talk about such emotions. Sometimes I feel really weak and don’t want to talk but everyone in the family has to talk. After I talk I always feel better.
Ann: In our family one of my cousins and one of my uncles are in the AA program. Sometime we go to a meeting when one of them is speaking. They talk about how they used to believe that they could not cope with their problems and would just drink to be numb. Grandma says that these meetings are no place for us children, but my parents say it is important that we hear these stories and learn that we can help each other with any problem.
Me: It sounds as if you children all started to learn to deal with tough issues when you were really young and now are glad that you did. It also sounds as if in all your families adults and children have the same rules for dealing with touch issues.
Will: No one in our family has to cope alone.
Me: I am also hearing that both males and females are learning to be okay with emotions.
Paul: In our family all of us get lots of hugs if are upset but we still have to deal with the issue.
Me: Say more about that Paul.
Paul: This is a little embarrassing but when I was little I would sometimes cry because I did not want to do something but it never worked. I got hugs when I was upset but I still had to do it. I remember when my Uncle John was dying in the hospital and I did not want to go see him. I still had to go and now I am glad I did.
Me: Why are your glad Paul?
Paul: I could tell he was really happy that I came to visit and now when I remember him I think about that fact.
Me: Excellent. It sounds as if everyone is saying:
- Start very young expecting everyone in the family to deal with tough emotional issues.
- Everyone needs permission to express emotions.
- Emotions are not an excuse for not doing something.
- Role models inside and outside the family are important.
- We do better when we help each other.
- We are as strong as we need to be even if we do not feel strong.
- Avoiding tough issues by drinking, taking other drugs or otherwise running away does not work well long term.
- If someone does start to have problems with drugs or alcohol they can get help.
I will print out this list. I think that we have an unusually healthy group of families represented in this class. Not everyone is so healthy. I wonder why this class is so healthy.
Ann: I wonder if healthy families were more likely to suggest that their children sign up for this class. We did not have to attend the class Mr. Jim.
Me: Good point Ann. So, we are not necessarily reaching a lot of the children who might benefit.
Paul: I wonder why such courses are an elective Uncle Jim.
Me: Good point. You students might want to work with Mrs. Sanford about a Facebook post talking about why you think this sort of class is important.
Time is nearly up. Next week how about we begin to talk about how we decide how much time to spend on TV, the internet, texting and other uses of modern technology. What are advantages and disadvantages?
Amena and Tom. pass out the cookies please. Will. please pass out the assignment.
Written March 1, 2017
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