School Bells – Current Affairs – Grade 8 – Week 9
Another week with top headlines of hurricane damage, political campaigns, and much ongoing fighting in the world. Last week we spent some of the time in this class talking about concerns related to the hurricane. Then we briefly talked about domestic violence. This week the assignment was to come prepared to talk about acceptable ways to deal with emotions such as fear and anger. As always, it will be interesting to see what the young people have to suggest after talking with their families.
I can hear the students coming now. The bell announcing the start of class is about to ring.
Ring! Ring! Ring!
Me: Good morning class. I hope all your extended family members are safe. Is there anyone who still does not know if a family member is safe?
No one says anything.
Paul: Everyone is safe. It has been fun having my Mamma and Pop here, but I will be glad to have my room back.
Me: It was nice of you to give up your room for them.
Does everyone remember what we are to discuss today?
Will: We were to discuss acceptable ways to deal with such emotions as fear and anger.
Me: Thanks Will.
Will: My parents were talking about something Mr. Trump said about locker room talk and suggested I ask if we can talk about it in this class.
Me: Let’s see if anyone is willing. It certainly is related to the discussion regarding domestic violence. It is also related to how some men talk about women with other men. I had a feeling that this subject might come up. The incident which Will and his parents are talking about related to a 2005 video in which Mr. Trumps talked about women as if they were objects just to be used. Mr. Trump is reported to have responded to the reports of that conversation by saying:
“You described kissing women without consent, grabbing their genitals,” moderator Anderson Cooper said. “That is sexual assault. You bragged that you have sexually assaulted women. Do you understand that?”
“I don’t think you understood what was said,” the Republican nominee replied.
“This was locker room talk,” Trump said. “I am not proud of it. I apologized to my family and the American people. I am not proud of it. This is locker room talk.”
In the comments revealed Friday, Trump said he would “just start kissing” beautiful women without waiting. (Copied and pasted this from the October 9, 2016 Huffington Post)
Will, correct me if I am wrong but this was the context of the question about locker room talk.
Will: Yes, Mr. Jim. I am not sure what adult men talk about in the locker room. I know that sometimes in the boy’s locker room other boys will talk about girls being easy or something and we know it is them just running their mouths.
Me: Sadly, Mr. Trump is right in one sense and sometimes guys try to impress other guys by talking about females as if they do not respect them. This is often done to impress other men. My understanding is that girls and women may talk about how sexy some guys are but a lot of their talk is saying nasty things about other girls. Perhaps some of the girls can comment on that.
Susie: That is true Mr. Jim although my friends and I have made a pact to help each other not do that.
Amena: In our culture we sometimes talk about what we want for women but it is not polite to “what do you say, diss other women. We might giggle about cute guys.”
John: I do not think my dad would talk bad about women. My mother is a woman and he loves her.
Me: What I have noticed is that if I am talking to one man at the gym in the exercise area or in the locker room where we shower and dress, most men say nice things about women including their girlfriends, wives, sisters or women with whom they work. As soon as another man is close enough to hear our conversation the other man might start talking trash about his wife or other women. Does everyone know what I mean about talking trash?
Girls: Yes Mr. Jim.
Ahmena: What is this trash talking Mr. Jim.
Susie: That is when someone says how fine someone is or how mean someone is. Trash talking is talking in a way we would not talk in public.
Amena: Okay, I think I understand. In our country women have to stick together because women are still treated as less than men. Some women are different.
Me: We could spend a lot of time talking about how we learn to treat men and women differently which is related to our talk today but let us stick to what Mr. Trump meant about locker room talk. When men talk badly about women to other men who are they trying to impress?
Ann: They are trying to impress other guys. In fact, my mother said that guys spend most of their time trying to impress other men.
Paul: Is that true Uncle Jim?
Me: Actually, according to all the study results I have read, that is very true. We guys worry a lot about what other men think. My understanding is women also worry about what other women think. Women can be very critical of each other.
Tom: Does that mean that most men are gay and most women are lesbian?
Me: No, I do not think it has anything to do with who we want to date or who we are romantically attracted to. It just means that it is easy to allow other people to decide if we are okay or not. For we guys it can seem important that we pretend that although we are attracted to women we do not really like or respect women.
Abdul: That seems pretty dumb Mr. Jim.
Me: I think it is. The question Will’s parents probably wanted us to address is whether “locker room talk” trashing females is okay.
Paul: I would not like it if someone was trashing my mother or sister. What about my Mamma? That would be terrible.
Me: Well, guys the question is whether it is ever okay to trash women anywhere including the locker room just to impress other guys. The larger question is whether this has any effect on how we treat women outside of the locker room.
Will: My parents did say that we should not talk bad about anyone, even in private.
Me: What about the question of impressing other guys?
John: I thought the goal was to always be proud of ourselves no matter what others say.
Me: I think that is a wonderful goal. That is not always easy is it class?
Class: NO!
Susie: That can be very difficult Mr. Jim.
Me: Yes it can. So while it good to apologize if we fall into the trap of trashing others, is it okay to excuse it by saying, “It was just locker room talk”? If it is not, how should we respond if it happens.
Paul: You do not want us to say bad things to other people.
John: Should we just hit the dumb person?
Me: No, I do not think that it is ever okay to hit someone or treat someone mean in any way. What if we said in a very kind way, “I am really uncomfortable talking about girls or women in that way.”
Tom: The other guys might call you name like …
Me: We do not need to repeat the names here but what do we do if someone calls are names?
Abdul: Turn the other cheek?
Snickers are heard from several.
Me: Okay, settle down. I get it. In the locker room everyone is getting dressed or undressed. Abdul did not mean that cheek! Very funny!
It can be very difficult to say we are offended or that we are uncomfortable with that talk. It is a little easier if we know that another boy or man is going to also speak up. The more we support each other the easier it is. Sometimes it feels safer to just not join in the talk and not say anything. That might be a good start. How about you girls. Do you think it is okay to talk trash in the locker room?
Susie: No, I do not want other girls talking trash about me or my sisters.
Me: We are nearly out of time, but it sounds as if we are saying that it is never okay to blame bad behavior on someone else or to suggest that everyone does it. When we say it is just locker room behavior we are essentially saying that that it is okay since “everybody” does it.
Will: Would this make Mr. Trump a bad president Mr. Jim?
Me: That is a question to discuss with your family. All of us who are old enough to have an opinion need to decide which candidate is the best. All candidates have some negatives and positives. Which one is best for the country at this time is a very important question.
Goodness. This hour passed quickly. Next week we will talk about some acceptable or healthy ways to deal with emotions such as fear and anger.
Ring! Ring! Ring!
Me: Thanks. You are also such good thinkers. I am so proud of you. Have a good week.
Written October 10, 2016
School Bells – Current Affairs – Grade 8 – Week 9
Another week with top headlines of hurricane damage, political campaigns, and much ongoing fighting in the world. Last week we spent some of the time in this class talking about concerns related to the hurricane. Then we briefly talked about domestic violence. This week the assignment was to come prepared to talk about acceptable ways to deal with emotions such as fear and anger. As always, it will be interesting to see what the young people have to suggest after talking with their families.
I can hear the students coming now. The bell announcing the start of class is about to ring.
Ring! Ring! Ring!
Me: Good morning class. I hope all your extended family members are safe. Is there anyone who still does not know if a family member is safe?
No one says anything.
Paul: Everyone is safe. It has been fun having my Mamma and Pop here, but I will be glad to have my room back.
Me: It was nice of you to give up your room for them.
Does everyone remember what we are to discuss today?
Will: We were to discuss acceptable ways to deal with such emotions as fear and anger.
Me: Thanks Will.
Will: My parents were talking about something Mr. Trump said about locker room talk and suggested I ask if we can talk about it in this class.
Me: Let’s see if anyone is willing. It certainly is related to the discussion regarding domestic violence. It is also related to how some men talk about women with other men. I had a feeling that this subject might come up. The incident which Will and his parents are talking about related to a 2005 video in which Mr. Trumps talked about women as if they were objects just to be used. Mr. Trump is reported to have responded to the reports of that conversation by saying:
“You described kissing women without consent, grabbing their genitals,” moderator Anderson Cooper said. “That is sexual assault. You bragged that you have sexually assaulted women. Do you understand that?”
“I don’t think you understood what was said,” the Republican nominee replied.
“This was locker room talk,” Trump said. “I am not proud of it. I apologized to my family and the American people. I am not proud of it. This is locker room talk.”
In the comments revealed Friday, Trump said he would “just start kissing” beautiful women without waiting. (Copied and pasted this from the October 9, 2016 Huffington Post)
Will, correct me if I am wrong but this was the context of the question about locker room talk.
Will: Yes, Mr. Jim. I am not sure what adult men talk about in the locker room. I know that sometimes in the boy’s locker room other boys will talk about girls being easy or something and we know it is them just running their mouths.
Me: Sadly, Mr. Trump is right in one sense and sometimes guys try to impress other guys by talking about females as if they do not respect them. This is often done to impress other men. My understanding is that girls and women may talk about how sexy some guys are but a lot of their talk is saying nasty things about other girls. Perhaps some of the girls can comment on that.
Susie: That is true Mr. Jim although my friends and I have made a pact to help each other not do that.
Amena: In our culture we sometimes talk about what we want for women but it is not polite to “what do you say, diss other women. We might giggle about cute guys.”
John: I do not think my dad would talk bad about women. My mother is a woman and he loves her.
Me: What I have noticed is that if I am talking to one man at the gym in the exercise area or in the locker room where we shower and dress, most men say nice things about women including their girlfriends, wives, sisters or women with whom they work. As soon as another man is close enough to hear our conversation the other man might start talking trash about his wife or other women. Does everyone know what I mean about talking trash?
Girls: Yes Mr. Jim.
Ahmena: What is this trash talking Mr. Jim.
Susie: That is when someone says how fine someone is or how mean someone is. Trash talking is talking in a way we would not talk in public.
Amena: Okay, I think I understand. In our country women have to stick together because women are still treated as less than men. Some women are different.
Me: We could spend a lot of time talking about how we learn to treat men and women differently which is related to our talk today but let us stick to what Mr. Trump meant about locker room talk. When men talk badly about women to other men who are they trying to impress?
Ann: They are trying to impress other guys. In fact, my mother said that guys spend most of their time trying to impress other men.
Paul: Is that true Uncle Jim?
Me: Actually, according to all the study results I have read, that is very true. We guys worry a lot about what other men think. My understanding is women also worry about what other women think. Women can be very critical of each other.
Tom: Does that mean that most men are gay and most women are lesbian?
Me: No, I do not think it has anything to do with who we want to date or who we are romantically attracted to. It just means that it is easy to allow other people to decide if we are okay or not. For we guys it can seem important that we pretend that although we are attracted to women we do not really like or respect women.
Abdul: That seems pretty dumb Mr. Jim.
Me: I think it is. The question Will’s parents probably wanted us to address is whether “locker room talk” trashing females is okay.
Paul: I would not like it if someone was trashing my mother or sister. What about my Mamma? That would be terrible.
Me: Well, guys the question is whether it is ever okay to trash women anywhere including the locker room just to impress other guys. The larger question is whether this has any effect on how we treat women outside of the locker room.
Will: My parents did say that we should not talk bad about anyone, even in private.
Me: What about the question of impressing other guys?
John: I thought the goal was to always be proud of ourselves no matter what others say.
Me: I think that is a wonderful goal. That is not always easy is it class?
Class: NO!
Susie: That can be very difficult Mr. Jim.
Me: Yes it can. So while it good to apologize if we fall into the trap of trashing others, is it okay to excuse it by saying, “It was just locker room talk”? If it is not, how should we respond if it happens.
Paul: You do not want us to say bad things to other people.
John: Should we just hit the dumb person?
Me: No, I do not think that it is ever okay to hit someone or treat someone mean in any way. What if we said in a very kind way, “I am really uncomfortable talking about girls or women in that way.”
Tom: The other guys might call you name like …
Me: We do not need to repeat the names here but what do we do if someone calls are names?
Abdul: Turn the other cheek?
Snickers are heard from several.
Me: Okay, settle down. I get it. In the locker room everyone is getting dressed or undressed. Abdul did not mean that cheek! Very funny!
It can be very difficult to say we are offended or that we are uncomfortable with that talk. It is a little easier if we know that another boy or man is going to also speak up. The more we support each other the easier it is. Sometimes it feels safer to just not join in the talk and not say anything. That might be a good start. How about you girls. Do you think it is okay to talk trash in the locker room?
Susie: No, I do not want other girls talking trash about me or my sisters.
Me: We are nearly out of time, but it sounds as if we are saying that it is never okay to blame bad behavior on someone else or to suggest that everyone does it. When we say it is just locker room behavior we are essentially saying that that it is okay since “everybody” does it.
Will: Would this make Mr. Trump a bad president Mr. Jim?
Me: That is a question to discuss with your family. All of us who are old enough to have an opinion need to decide which candidate is the best. All candidates have some negatives and positives. Which one is best for the country at this time is a very important question.
Goodness. This hour passed quickly. Next week we will talk about some acceptable or healthy ways to deal with emotions such as fear and anger.
Ring! Ring! Ring!
Me: Thanks. You are also such good thinkers. I am so proud of you. Have a good week.
Written October 10, 2016
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