Self-care and compassion
I listened to a recent podcast of On Being with host Krista Tippett and her guest, neuroscientist, Dr. Richard Davidson. The title of the podcast is “A Neuroscientist on Love and learning”. I urge the reader to listen to this podcast. On a previous podcast in 2011 Ms. Tippett and Dr. Davidson talked about compassion. At that time, he defined compassion as “a motivational state that is associated with the propensity to relieve the suffering of others”. In this podcast he is focused on the effect of love on learning.
I have long been interested in the factors which prevent us from taking care of ourselves intellectually, emotionally, physically and spiritually. Most of us know that if we do not take care of ourselves it is impossible for us focus our attention on taking care of others. In order to take care of others one must have an ability the identify the needs of others. The ability to identify the needs of others requires a deep level of compassion.
There are brain conditions which may keep us from caring for parts of ourselves and, thus, keep us from caring for others. Those on the autism spectrum may have great difficulty identifying with others as mirrors images of themselves.
When children or adults experience neglect or overt negative treatment they can easily generalize the distrust. Instead of one person or small group of people being untrustworthy one can begin to distrust all humans. The fact that this may not be a very scientific way of approaching the issues of trust does not matter. The absence of a history of loving, trusting relationships makes it difficult, if not impossible, to take the leap of faith and trust another person. The person who has been abused may themselves become abusive towards themselves and others. This experience can also impair the ability to learn.
Those who are unconditionally loved as humans may find it easier to have and show compassion. Obviously, there are those get all the material goods and things they want but never learn to make peace with their own humanness. They got stuff but no unconditional love. They may learn to identify their core as their position of privilege/status or their monetary worth. One may also learn to identify their core as a particular skill or talent. I have worked with/for individuals whose identity was intricately connected to their early success as a musician, an athlete or some other skill. When success did not last or an injury prevented them for continuing the career which required a level of physical agility, they became depressed, angry and unable to show compassion to themselves or others.
Dr. Davidson and many others studying brain function posit that:
Written February 16, 2019
Jimmy F Pickett
Coachpickett.org
I listened to a recent podcast of On Being with host Krista Tippett and her guest, neuroscientist, Dr. Richard Davidson. The title of the podcast is “A Neuroscientist on Love and learning”. I urge the reader to listen to this podcast. On a previous podcast in 2011 Ms. Tippett and Dr. Davidson talked about compassion. At that time, he defined compassion as “a motivational state that is associated with the propensity to relieve the suffering of others”. In this podcast he is focused on the effect of love on learning.
I have long been interested in the factors which prevent us from taking care of ourselves intellectually, emotionally, physically and spiritually. Most of us know that if we do not take care of ourselves it is impossible for us focus our attention on taking care of others. In order to take care of others one must have an ability the identify the needs of others. The ability to identify the needs of others requires a deep level of compassion.
There are brain conditions which may keep us from caring for parts of ourselves and, thus, keep us from caring for others. Those on the autism spectrum may have great difficulty identifying with others as mirrors images of themselves.
When children or adults experience neglect or overt negative treatment they can easily generalize the distrust. Instead of one person or small group of people being untrustworthy one can begin to distrust all humans. The fact that this may not be a very scientific way of approaching the issues of trust does not matter. The absence of a history of loving, trusting relationships makes it difficult, if not impossible, to take the leap of faith and trust another person. The person who has been abused may themselves become abusive towards themselves and others. This experience can also impair the ability to learn.
Those who are unconditionally loved as humans may find it easier to have and show compassion. Obviously, there are those get all the material goods and things they want but never learn to make peace with their own humanness. They got stuff but no unconditional love. They may learn to identify their core as their position of privilege/status or their monetary worth. One may also learn to identify their core as a particular skill or talent. I have worked with/for individuals whose identity was intricately connected to their early success as a musician, an athlete or some other skill. When success did not last or an injury prevented them for continuing the career which required a level of physical agility, they became depressed, angry and unable to show compassion to themselves or others.
Dr. Davidson and many others studying brain function posit that:
- The brain is elastic - can mature and develop over a lifetime.
- Being able to attend requires that one feels safe in being quiet with oneself.
- Being quiet with oneself requires that one have compassion for oneself and not be consumed with shame or other negative thoughts about oneself
- Being able to have compassion for oneself is a necessary (not always sufficient) condition for empathy.
- Empathy is a necessary condition to receive (ability to hear) positive feedback from others which reinforces compassion for oneself.
- Compassion and cognitive ability are intricately connected.
Written February 16, 2019
Jimmy F Pickett
Coachpickett.org
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