Unplug
A number of families and individuals I know have routine unplugged times. Yesterday I went for two bike rides – one for an hour and a half and one for an hour. During those times I did have my phone with me just in case I had a bike accident and needed to call for help. I did not, however, keep my phone on or check texts or emails. All my close friends and clients know that I will respond to phone calls, texts and emails within a 24 hour period of receiving them. I do, however, schedule time out from checking my devices.
A very close friend and colleague and I many years ago decided to make it clear to clients/patients that we do not make emergency medical house calls. We do not have a traveling emergency room trailer. If one truly has a medical emergency – including being suicidal or homicidal – one needs to get to an emergency room. If one needs to talk just knowing that within the day the health care professional and/or the person who is taking calls for that person will call one back is generally enough to allow a person to hold on until then. There are, of course, 24 hour emergency help lines available.
While we both set some clear boundaries so that we could take care of ourselves and our families, long before the internet or cell phone we gave out our home phone number and were listed in the public telephone books which also listed our address. (younger readers may not remember telephone books which were similar to contact apps on smart phones). The fact that we were so open and available paradoxically seem to result in people calling us less often and respecting the privacy of our homes more than if we had kept them a secret. We always knew many of our clients/patients were much more creative than us. Anyone who really wanted to locate one would do so.
Of course, especially with young children, one needs to make sure some responsible adult is available 24 hours a day and that person or persons have access to the parent or parents with legal authority to make medical decisions. One may want to be very clear about what constitutes an emergency.
Ann Lamott in a 2017 Ted Talk entitle “12 Truths I Learned From Life and Writing” says: “…almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes including you.”
Sometimes we need to turn off the mind that has morphed into a runaway train, get as far away as possible from the phone, computer or any other smart devices (apparently even smart refrigerators can be used to communicate as one creative teenager proved to parents who thought they had her completely unplugged). As I recently wrote, verbally vomiting on another person seldom (I think never.) has positive results. We may need to write, paint, play music, dance or sculpt but we do not ever need to vomit on another person.
My brain (along with the rest of my body) needs time out to refuel and to dispose of waste material. I like to think of the brain having its own kidney which, if we allow it the space and time, will dispose of all the garbage of anger, resentment, blaming, and comparisons of insides with outsides.
I love people. I consider myself a people person. Yet, there are times when I simple do not do humans. While having breakfast in a hospital cafeteria when I was committing a long distance to work I would respectfully announce to those wanting to join me that “ I will not be doing humans for another hour or so.”
As Ann Lamott and many other remind us, all truth is a paradox. We will all be kinder, more loving people if we regularly unplug for a day, a weekend or even during a vacation.
Written September 16, 2019
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
A number of families and individuals I know have routine unplugged times. Yesterday I went for two bike rides – one for an hour and a half and one for an hour. During those times I did have my phone with me just in case I had a bike accident and needed to call for help. I did not, however, keep my phone on or check texts or emails. All my close friends and clients know that I will respond to phone calls, texts and emails within a 24 hour period of receiving them. I do, however, schedule time out from checking my devices.
A very close friend and colleague and I many years ago decided to make it clear to clients/patients that we do not make emergency medical house calls. We do not have a traveling emergency room trailer. If one truly has a medical emergency – including being suicidal or homicidal – one needs to get to an emergency room. If one needs to talk just knowing that within the day the health care professional and/or the person who is taking calls for that person will call one back is generally enough to allow a person to hold on until then. There are, of course, 24 hour emergency help lines available.
While we both set some clear boundaries so that we could take care of ourselves and our families, long before the internet or cell phone we gave out our home phone number and were listed in the public telephone books which also listed our address. (younger readers may not remember telephone books which were similar to contact apps on smart phones). The fact that we were so open and available paradoxically seem to result in people calling us less often and respecting the privacy of our homes more than if we had kept them a secret. We always knew many of our clients/patients were much more creative than us. Anyone who really wanted to locate one would do so.
Of course, especially with young children, one needs to make sure some responsible adult is available 24 hours a day and that person or persons have access to the parent or parents with legal authority to make medical decisions. One may want to be very clear about what constitutes an emergency.
Ann Lamott in a 2017 Ted Talk entitle “12 Truths I Learned From Life and Writing” says: “…almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes including you.”
Sometimes we need to turn off the mind that has morphed into a runaway train, get as far away as possible from the phone, computer or any other smart devices (apparently even smart refrigerators can be used to communicate as one creative teenager proved to parents who thought they had her completely unplugged). As I recently wrote, verbally vomiting on another person seldom (I think never.) has positive results. We may need to write, paint, play music, dance or sculpt but we do not ever need to vomit on another person.
My brain (along with the rest of my body) needs time out to refuel and to dispose of waste material. I like to think of the brain having its own kidney which, if we allow it the space and time, will dispose of all the garbage of anger, resentment, blaming, and comparisons of insides with outsides.
I love people. I consider myself a people person. Yet, there are times when I simple do not do humans. While having breakfast in a hospital cafeteria when I was committing a long distance to work I would respectfully announce to those wanting to join me that “ I will not be doing humans for another hour or so.”
As Ann Lamott and many other remind us, all truth is a paradox. We will all be kinder, more loving people if we regularly unplug for a day, a weekend or even during a vacation.
Written September 16, 2019
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
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