Six-year old Sam ask about presidential candidates
I knew that my six-year old adopted niece, Sam, had the day off school but I was not sure if she planned to visit. Her family had been busy with the visit of her maternal grandparents, mamma and pop pop.
As I looked out the window I was pleased to see her coming across the snowy lawn in her new red boots and coat.
As she gets near, I open the door.
Me: Good morning snowbird! How are you?
Sam: Hello Uncle Jim. It is cold this morning.
Me: Yes, it is. Come in and take your coat and boots off. I will get your slippers.
I get the slippers from the broom closet.
Sam: I had breakfast Uncle Jim, but I would love some hot chocolate. Could we make some Uncle Jim?
Me: Of course we can. Let me get your apron.
I get her apron and tie it on her. Then I get out the milk, salt, sugar, vanilla and cocoa. I pour the milk in a pan and put it on to heat.
Sam: Can I measure the cocoa, sugar and salt Uncle Jim
Me: You sure can.
She carefully measures the ingredients and puts them in a pan. We then add a little water and she finishes making the paste. When the milk starts to steam I pour it in for her. She begins to stir with the whisk and then we add the vanilla. In the meantime, I get out the marshmallows and the whipped cream.
Sam: Will you pour it into the cups Uncle Jim?
I do and the Sam adds the marshmallows and the whipped cream.
Me: Careful, it is hot. Do not burn your lips off!
Sam: Uncle Jim! I am not going to burn my lips off. You are so silly.
Me: Yes, I know. Still I do not want you to burn your lips.
Sam: Uncle Jim, why are the people running for president so angry all time? They are always saying mean things. At least they look mean. Sometimes the kids at my school say mean things to each other and then the other kids say mean things back to them. Then someone tries to be meaner. The other day day Tommy said something mean to Sue about her being in a wheelchair. Ahmes then told Tommy he was retarded. Tommy then said Ahmes should go back to Egypt. I do not like it when they are mean to each other but I do not know what to do.
Me: It is really difficult to know what to do Sam. Sometimes no matter what you do it seems to make it worse.
Sam: I talked to Sue afterwards and she always says it does not matter, but I can tell it really hurts her feelings.
Me: Why do you think that Tommy makes fun of Sue and the other children.
Sam: Well, Sue is easy to pick on because she cannot fight back physically and everyone know she will never say anything mean back.
Me: Interesting. Why do you think that Sue will never say anything mean to someone who makes fun of her?
Sam: Takes a long drink of hot chocolate leaving a white mustache.
Me: Nice mustaches Sam.
Sam: Uncle Jim. You have one too!
Me: Oh okay! Shall we wipe them off?
I take my napkin and wipe them off.
Sam: What was the question Uncle Jim?
Me: Why do your think that Sue will never say anything mean to someone who makes fun of her?
Sam: Well, you told me to always ask if I wanted to know something. I asked Sue and she said if she is mean back that she would be behaving the same as Tommy.
Me: That is very wise of Sue. What do you think of that Sam?
Sam: Well, it seems like they will not know that it is not okay to be mean.
Me: Let’s think about what you said earlier about the presidential candidates calling each other names or about school mates calling each other names. What did you say happens?
Sam: They just keep seeing who can be the meanest Uncle Jim and at school eventually they start fighting with each other.
Me: Who do you think wins then Sam?
Sam: Well, it does not seem as if anyone wins Uncle Jim.
Me: Do your think Sue wins Sam?
Sam: How could she win Uncle Jim? Tommy and some of the other kids still call her mean names.
Me: What do you think is the most important Sam? If Sue does not respond with mean comments is she proud of who she is?
Sam: Yes, she is, but that is confusing Uncle Jim
Me: Sue sounds like a person who knows that she wants to be a kind person no matter what anyone else does. What do your parents say when you do something because other kids are doing it?
Sam: They do not like it Uncle Jim. Both give me that look!
Me: What is that look?
Sam: They sort of frown and look really disappointed. I hate that.
She shows me her best imitation of her parents’ “look”!
Me: Oh. That is not very pleasant.
Sam: No. It makes me feel really small Uncle Jim. I hate feeling that way.
Me: Me, too, Sam. So your parents think that …
Sam: They think that I should do what will make me proud of me and make them proud of me. When I say mean things I am not proud of me and neither are they.
Me: That is one of the things I really like about your parents and your brother Paul. All of you try to be nice people no matter how anyone else behaves. It seems like Sue does really well with that also.
Sam: How come, if they want to be president, the candidates cannot behave that way Uncle Jim.
Me: Wow! That is really a good question Sam. I think that sometimes, if we are not careful, we can want to win so badly that we will say or do things which we would not normally do.
Sam: So what if one of them becomes President Uncle Jim and some other President says something mean.
Me: That is a really good question Sam. I and a lot of other people are concerned about that.
Sam: I am glad that I am friends with Sue. I guess I am also glad that I did not say anything mean to Tommy, but I felt like it.
Me: Yes, I can understand that Sam. Do you think that Tommy says mean things because he wants to feel important?
Sam: We talked about that before. It is difficult to think that way when he is acting that way.
Me: I know, but if we could think about that how do you think we would treat Tommy.
Sam: I know you want me to say that we would treat him with love Uncle Jim but he is yucky!
Me: Yes, sometimes what we wear outside is not very pretty. Some people think that the wheelchair make Sue not very pretty but we know that is not true.
Sam: So you are saying that Tommy’s meanness is like Sue’s wheel chair Uncle Jim? It is not who he is?
Me: Sam, sometimes you amaze me. I am so proud of you. That is exactly what I was saying.
Sam: Then maybe it would be okay to have a president who is mean Uncle Jim?
Me: No, I think we need to treat Tommy and the presidential candidates with love but until they quit being mean I do not think that they would be good leaders.
Sam: That makes sense.
Me: Goodness, look at the time. I have a dentist appointing in 20 minutes. Let’s continue this conversation later, okay Sam.
Sam: Thanks Uncle Jim.
She gives me a big hug and I help her take off her apron and put on her boots, coat, hat and gloves.
Sam: Buy Uncle Jim.
Me: See you later alligator!
Sam: (laughing) Uncle Jim!
Written March 4, 2016
I knew that my six-year old adopted niece, Sam, had the day off school but I was not sure if she planned to visit. Her family had been busy with the visit of her maternal grandparents, mamma and pop pop.
As I looked out the window I was pleased to see her coming across the snowy lawn in her new red boots and coat.
As she gets near, I open the door.
Me: Good morning snowbird! How are you?
Sam: Hello Uncle Jim. It is cold this morning.
Me: Yes, it is. Come in and take your coat and boots off. I will get your slippers.
I get the slippers from the broom closet.
Sam: I had breakfast Uncle Jim, but I would love some hot chocolate. Could we make some Uncle Jim?
Me: Of course we can. Let me get your apron.
I get her apron and tie it on her. Then I get out the milk, salt, sugar, vanilla and cocoa. I pour the milk in a pan and put it on to heat.
Sam: Can I measure the cocoa, sugar and salt Uncle Jim
Me: You sure can.
She carefully measures the ingredients and puts them in a pan. We then add a little water and she finishes making the paste. When the milk starts to steam I pour it in for her. She begins to stir with the whisk and then we add the vanilla. In the meantime, I get out the marshmallows and the whipped cream.
Sam: Will you pour it into the cups Uncle Jim?
I do and the Sam adds the marshmallows and the whipped cream.
Me: Careful, it is hot. Do not burn your lips off!
Sam: Uncle Jim! I am not going to burn my lips off. You are so silly.
Me: Yes, I know. Still I do not want you to burn your lips.
Sam: Uncle Jim, why are the people running for president so angry all time? They are always saying mean things. At least they look mean. Sometimes the kids at my school say mean things to each other and then the other kids say mean things back to them. Then someone tries to be meaner. The other day day Tommy said something mean to Sue about her being in a wheelchair. Ahmes then told Tommy he was retarded. Tommy then said Ahmes should go back to Egypt. I do not like it when they are mean to each other but I do not know what to do.
Me: It is really difficult to know what to do Sam. Sometimes no matter what you do it seems to make it worse.
Sam: I talked to Sue afterwards and she always says it does not matter, but I can tell it really hurts her feelings.
Me: Why do you think that Tommy makes fun of Sue and the other children.
Sam: Well, Sue is easy to pick on because she cannot fight back physically and everyone know she will never say anything mean back.
Me: Interesting. Why do you think that Sue will never say anything mean to someone who makes fun of her?
Sam: Takes a long drink of hot chocolate leaving a white mustache.
Me: Nice mustaches Sam.
Sam: Uncle Jim. You have one too!
Me: Oh okay! Shall we wipe them off?
I take my napkin and wipe them off.
Sam: What was the question Uncle Jim?
Me: Why do your think that Sue will never say anything mean to someone who makes fun of her?
Sam: Well, you told me to always ask if I wanted to know something. I asked Sue and she said if she is mean back that she would be behaving the same as Tommy.
Me: That is very wise of Sue. What do you think of that Sam?
Sam: Well, it seems like they will not know that it is not okay to be mean.
Me: Let’s think about what you said earlier about the presidential candidates calling each other names or about school mates calling each other names. What did you say happens?
Sam: They just keep seeing who can be the meanest Uncle Jim and at school eventually they start fighting with each other.
Me: Who do you think wins then Sam?
Sam: Well, it does not seem as if anyone wins Uncle Jim.
Me: Do your think Sue wins Sam?
Sam: How could she win Uncle Jim? Tommy and some of the other kids still call her mean names.
Me: What do you think is the most important Sam? If Sue does not respond with mean comments is she proud of who she is?
Sam: Yes, she is, but that is confusing Uncle Jim
Me: Sue sounds like a person who knows that she wants to be a kind person no matter what anyone else does. What do your parents say when you do something because other kids are doing it?
Sam: They do not like it Uncle Jim. Both give me that look!
Me: What is that look?
Sam: They sort of frown and look really disappointed. I hate that.
She shows me her best imitation of her parents’ “look”!
Me: Oh. That is not very pleasant.
Sam: No. It makes me feel really small Uncle Jim. I hate feeling that way.
Me: Me, too, Sam. So your parents think that …
Sam: They think that I should do what will make me proud of me and make them proud of me. When I say mean things I am not proud of me and neither are they.
Me: That is one of the things I really like about your parents and your brother Paul. All of you try to be nice people no matter how anyone else behaves. It seems like Sue does really well with that also.
Sam: How come, if they want to be president, the candidates cannot behave that way Uncle Jim.
Me: Wow! That is really a good question Sam. I think that sometimes, if we are not careful, we can want to win so badly that we will say or do things which we would not normally do.
Sam: So what if one of them becomes President Uncle Jim and some other President says something mean.
Me: That is a really good question Sam. I and a lot of other people are concerned about that.
Sam: I am glad that I am friends with Sue. I guess I am also glad that I did not say anything mean to Tommy, but I felt like it.
Me: Yes, I can understand that Sam. Do you think that Tommy says mean things because he wants to feel important?
Sam: We talked about that before. It is difficult to think that way when he is acting that way.
Me: I know, but if we could think about that how do you think we would treat Tommy.
Sam: I know you want me to say that we would treat him with love Uncle Jim but he is yucky!
Me: Yes, sometimes what we wear outside is not very pretty. Some people think that the wheelchair make Sue not very pretty but we know that is not true.
Sam: So you are saying that Tommy’s meanness is like Sue’s wheel chair Uncle Jim? It is not who he is?
Me: Sam, sometimes you amaze me. I am so proud of you. That is exactly what I was saying.
Sam: Then maybe it would be okay to have a president who is mean Uncle Jim?
Me: No, I think we need to treat Tommy and the presidential candidates with love but until they quit being mean I do not think that they would be good leaders.
Sam: That makes sense.
Me: Goodness, look at the time. I have a dentist appointing in 20 minutes. Let’s continue this conversation later, okay Sam.
Sam: Thanks Uncle Jim.
She gives me a big hug and I help her take off her apron and put on her boots, coat, hat and gloves.
Sam: Buy Uncle Jim.
Me: See you later alligator!
Sam: (laughing) Uncle Jim!
Written March 4, 2016
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