Six-year old Sam is anxious
My six-year old adopted niece and I have not seen each other much recently She, her 12-year old brother Paul and their parents were on vacation and then I was gone for a couple of weeks. I was delighted when she called and asked if she would come over this morning. I have defrosted an English muffin which she loves. I also have poured her a glass of milk.
Here she comes know.
There is a light knock on the kitchen door.
Me: Come in Sam.
Sam comes in and gives me a big hug.
Sam: Hi Uncle Jim. I have missed you. Did you have a good time? We had a really good time.
Me: Hi Sam. I had a very good time, but I missed you a lot. I am glad you, Paul and the family had a good time. Where did you go?
Sam: You know where we went Uncle Jim. We went to visit grandma and grandpa on the farm in Ohio. I like seeing the chickens and the cows. Grandma tried to teach me to milk the cow, but I did not do well. I also got to get the eggs in the morning. At first I was frightened the chickens would be mad at me, but they did not seem to mind when I got the eggs.
Me: That is great Sam. I am glad you had such a good time. Are you ready for your English muffin and milk?
Sam: Thanks Uncle Jim. Could I have butter and honey on my muffin?
Me: You sure can Sam. Here you are.
Sam: Thanks. Uncle Jim, grandpa and dad got into lots of arguments about the political candidates and about guns and stuff. Dad is still angry at grandpa. I get scared when they argue or when dad is angry.
Me: Why do you think you get so scared Sam?
Sam: I don’t know Uncle Jim. Dad says that grandpa is stupid and grandpa says that dad does not realize how bad people are. Then they stomp off and do not speak to each other. I get scared when people fight. Sometimes people get angry and shoot each other.
Me: You do not think that your grandpa and your dad are going to shoot anyone do you Sam?
Sam: I know that grandpa and dad love each other but sometimes people get really angry and someone gets killed. We heard about that shooting in the club where a lot of people got killed. The man was very angry.
Me: There are no guns in your house Sam.
Sam: I know but grandpa and grandma have guns.
Me: Yes, they live on a farm and sometimes hunt. Occasionally they also have to protect the other animals.
Sam: But if they will shoot an animal to protect another animal would they shoot a person if they were mad at them? Would grandpa shoot dad?
Me: That is what you are afraid of?
Sam: Well, I don’t really think grandpa would shoot dad, but I still get very scared when they fight.
Me: Yes, I can understand that.
Sam: I am glad we do not have guns but grandpa thinks we should have a gun for protection and that all of us should learn how to shoot it.
Me: Really! What do you think Sam?
Sam; Mom and I say we do not need a gun for protection. They told grandpa if someone came in to steal stuff that they could just have it. They do not want to shoot another person.
Me: What did grandpa say?
Sam: Grandpa said that sometimes people come in to hurt children and then you need a gun.
Me: What do you think Sam?
Sam: Well, someone could come in to hurt one of us but dad says he still would not want to shoot someone. Grandpa said that sometimes you do not have any choice. Is that true Uncle Jim?
Me: Even at six-years old, you know that sometimes some sick person does break into a house and hurts the people living there.
Sam: Yes, there was that girl in my class whose mother got killed and the girl hid in the closet. That would be really scary.
Me: Yes, it would me. Do you think if the mother had a gun she would be alive?
Sam: The girl in class said that the police told her that often someone cannot get to the gun or the robber just takes it from them.
Me: Yes, I understand that is often the case. So having a gun does not always make people safer does it Sam?
Sam: I guess not Uncle Jim. Mom and dad said we have to know what to do if someone we don’t know tries to get into the house.
Me: Such as what Sam?
Sam: Well, things like, keep the doors locked, always let mom, dad or the sitter open the door, keep our cell phone with us and call 911 if we think someone is in the house who should not be. Even if it is a mistake it is better to call 911.
Me: That is great Sam. I am glad that you and the family have a plan.
Sam: I still get scared, especially when people scream at each other.
Me: I know. I also get scared when people scream at each other. I wish no one got that angry, but I think that a lot of people are going to continue to have very strong opinions until after the elections.
Sam; I wish it was over tomorrow.
Me: I do too Sam.
Sam: How come I always feel better when we talk Uncle Jim?
Me: I am glad you do. I do too. It does seem to help to talk when we get scared.
Sam: Why is that Uncle Jim?
Me: I suspect because it makes us feel less alone. We might have to have a lot of talks between now and the election.
Sam: Thanks Uncle Jim.
Me: You are welcome Sam.
Written June 23, 2016
My six-year old adopted niece and I have not seen each other much recently She, her 12-year old brother Paul and their parents were on vacation and then I was gone for a couple of weeks. I was delighted when she called and asked if she would come over this morning. I have defrosted an English muffin which she loves. I also have poured her a glass of milk.
Here she comes know.
There is a light knock on the kitchen door.
Me: Come in Sam.
Sam comes in and gives me a big hug.
Sam: Hi Uncle Jim. I have missed you. Did you have a good time? We had a really good time.
Me: Hi Sam. I had a very good time, but I missed you a lot. I am glad you, Paul and the family had a good time. Where did you go?
Sam: You know where we went Uncle Jim. We went to visit grandma and grandpa on the farm in Ohio. I like seeing the chickens and the cows. Grandma tried to teach me to milk the cow, but I did not do well. I also got to get the eggs in the morning. At first I was frightened the chickens would be mad at me, but they did not seem to mind when I got the eggs.
Me: That is great Sam. I am glad you had such a good time. Are you ready for your English muffin and milk?
Sam: Thanks Uncle Jim. Could I have butter and honey on my muffin?
Me: You sure can Sam. Here you are.
Sam: Thanks. Uncle Jim, grandpa and dad got into lots of arguments about the political candidates and about guns and stuff. Dad is still angry at grandpa. I get scared when they argue or when dad is angry.
Me: Why do you think you get so scared Sam?
Sam: I don’t know Uncle Jim. Dad says that grandpa is stupid and grandpa says that dad does not realize how bad people are. Then they stomp off and do not speak to each other. I get scared when people fight. Sometimes people get angry and shoot each other.
Me: You do not think that your grandpa and your dad are going to shoot anyone do you Sam?
Sam: I know that grandpa and dad love each other but sometimes people get really angry and someone gets killed. We heard about that shooting in the club where a lot of people got killed. The man was very angry.
Me: There are no guns in your house Sam.
Sam: I know but grandpa and grandma have guns.
Me: Yes, they live on a farm and sometimes hunt. Occasionally they also have to protect the other animals.
Sam: But if they will shoot an animal to protect another animal would they shoot a person if they were mad at them? Would grandpa shoot dad?
Me: That is what you are afraid of?
Sam: Well, I don’t really think grandpa would shoot dad, but I still get very scared when they fight.
Me: Yes, I can understand that.
Sam: I am glad we do not have guns but grandpa thinks we should have a gun for protection and that all of us should learn how to shoot it.
Me: Really! What do you think Sam?
Sam; Mom and I say we do not need a gun for protection. They told grandpa if someone came in to steal stuff that they could just have it. They do not want to shoot another person.
Me: What did grandpa say?
Sam: Grandpa said that sometimes people come in to hurt children and then you need a gun.
Me: What do you think Sam?
Sam: Well, someone could come in to hurt one of us but dad says he still would not want to shoot someone. Grandpa said that sometimes you do not have any choice. Is that true Uncle Jim?
Me: Even at six-years old, you know that sometimes some sick person does break into a house and hurts the people living there.
Sam: Yes, there was that girl in my class whose mother got killed and the girl hid in the closet. That would be really scary.
Me: Yes, it would me. Do you think if the mother had a gun she would be alive?
Sam: The girl in class said that the police told her that often someone cannot get to the gun or the robber just takes it from them.
Me: Yes, I understand that is often the case. So having a gun does not always make people safer does it Sam?
Sam: I guess not Uncle Jim. Mom and dad said we have to know what to do if someone we don’t know tries to get into the house.
Me: Such as what Sam?
Sam: Well, things like, keep the doors locked, always let mom, dad or the sitter open the door, keep our cell phone with us and call 911 if we think someone is in the house who should not be. Even if it is a mistake it is better to call 911.
Me: That is great Sam. I am glad that you and the family have a plan.
Sam: I still get scared, especially when people scream at each other.
Me: I know. I also get scared when people scream at each other. I wish no one got that angry, but I think that a lot of people are going to continue to have very strong opinions until after the elections.
Sam; I wish it was over tomorrow.
Me: I do too Sam.
Sam: How come I always feel better when we talk Uncle Jim?
Me: I am glad you do. I do too. It does seem to help to talk when we get scared.
Sam: Why is that Uncle Jim?
Me: I suspect because it makes us feel less alone. We might have to have a lot of talks between now and the election.
Sam: Thanks Uncle Jim.
Me: You are welcome Sam.
Written June 23, 2016
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