Spring Cleaning
As we inch towards spring many of us begin to think about spring cleaning. It does seem as if “stuff” accumulates. Personally I hate taking responsibility for bringing excess stuff into my house. Some of it was the outdated equipment such as the router and modem which no longer worked. There is also the clothes I no longer wear such as the dress shirt with the frayed collar which was my most comfortable one, the projects I never got around to, the packing boxes which contained purchases from Amazon, the expired food items I had bought because one never knows when 50 people are going to stop by for a meal, and numerous other items. I have certainly got much better about getting rid of external “stuff” over the years. I still struggle with letting go of internals “stuff” which includes:
As with most of us, I could fill pages with the list of internal “stuff” which I continue to carry around. Some of it I was sure I had packed in boxes and taken to the dump. It seems, at times, as if I must sleep walk and sleep drive to the dump to reclaim this stuff. I know that none of us can erase old memories or messages. We may get good at practicing and logging in new memories and new messages, but the old ones will often resurface, especially if we experience a new trauma or allow our emotional, spiritual, physical, or nutritional gas tanks to reach empty.
My spiritual and, to some extent, emotional gas tanks can be filled by intentionally correcting the old, negative messages and by spending time with healthy people who will remind me that I am a good person albeit a work in progress. Healthy friends not only challenge me to grow but also love me unconditionally. They remind me when my thought process is irrational, i. e. “ I am responsible for the behavior of others. I am less or more worthy than others. I do not have the power to change my expectations of others. I can or should be perfect.”
Internal spring cleaning is a 365 days a year job. External cleaning of stuff can also go on all year long. For many years I have had a rule that for every non-disposal item I bring into my home I will get rid of two items. Occasionally, I “forget” and allow stuff to again pile up.
Since I cannot erase old memories I can decide to just notice them when why make a surprise visit. As long as if don’t feed them by agreeing or even disagreeing with them their power is very limited.
As we proceed with spring cleaning we may notice that there are people in our lives who are no longer able to feed us emotionally and spiritually. We may find that they constantly suck all the energy from us. We are absorbing their negative energy and giving away our reserve supply. Without labeling or judging them we may decide to remove them from our lives or limit our exposure to them. If we do not set some boundaries we may find that we are sucking the energy from others and they are now avoiding us. My simple, non-judgmental rule is to not give away what I do not have. If I have energy to give away and it is helpful to others I am duty bound to be my brother’s keeper.
Spring cleaning will initially use up some energy but, In the long run, leaves me with more to use in a way which more beneficial to myself and others.
Written February 13, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett, LPC, AADC
coachpickett.org
As we inch towards spring many of us begin to think about spring cleaning. It does seem as if “stuff” accumulates. Personally I hate taking responsibility for bringing excess stuff into my house. Some of it was the outdated equipment such as the router and modem which no longer worked. There is also the clothes I no longer wear such as the dress shirt with the frayed collar which was my most comfortable one, the projects I never got around to, the packing boxes which contained purchases from Amazon, the expired food items I had bought because one never knows when 50 people are going to stop by for a meal, and numerous other items. I have certainly got much better about getting rid of external “stuff” over the years. I still struggle with letting go of internals “stuff” which includes:
- Old resentments or hurts which usually pop up when I am hungry, tired, angry, or lonely.
- Triggers to old hurts which I cannot erase but can continue to correct.
- Expectations of myself, other people, places and things.
- The delusion that somehow my ways of hurting others is less or more destructive or intentional than those of others.
- The strongly held belief that I am responsible for the behavior of others while not denying or failing to take responsibility for the effect of my behavior on others.
- The tendency to obsess and otherwise analyze the simplest issues rather than following the example of most 3-year-old children!
As with most of us, I could fill pages with the list of internal “stuff” which I continue to carry around. Some of it I was sure I had packed in boxes and taken to the dump. It seems, at times, as if I must sleep walk and sleep drive to the dump to reclaim this stuff. I know that none of us can erase old memories or messages. We may get good at practicing and logging in new memories and new messages, but the old ones will often resurface, especially if we experience a new trauma or allow our emotional, spiritual, physical, or nutritional gas tanks to reach empty.
My spiritual and, to some extent, emotional gas tanks can be filled by intentionally correcting the old, negative messages and by spending time with healthy people who will remind me that I am a good person albeit a work in progress. Healthy friends not only challenge me to grow but also love me unconditionally. They remind me when my thought process is irrational, i. e. “ I am responsible for the behavior of others. I am less or more worthy than others. I do not have the power to change my expectations of others. I can or should be perfect.”
Internal spring cleaning is a 365 days a year job. External cleaning of stuff can also go on all year long. For many years I have had a rule that for every non-disposal item I bring into my home I will get rid of two items. Occasionally, I “forget” and allow stuff to again pile up.
Since I cannot erase old memories I can decide to just notice them when why make a surprise visit. As long as if don’t feed them by agreeing or even disagreeing with them their power is very limited.
As we proceed with spring cleaning we may notice that there are people in our lives who are no longer able to feed us emotionally and spiritually. We may find that they constantly suck all the energy from us. We are absorbing their negative energy and giving away our reserve supply. Without labeling or judging them we may decide to remove them from our lives or limit our exposure to them. If we do not set some boundaries we may find that we are sucking the energy from others and they are now avoiding us. My simple, non-judgmental rule is to not give away what I do not have. If I have energy to give away and it is helpful to others I am duty bound to be my brother’s keeper.
Spring cleaning will initially use up some energy but, In the long run, leaves me with more to use in a way which more beneficial to myself and others.
Written February 13, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett, LPC, AADC
coachpickett.org
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