Starting points
We begin learning stories from the time we are very young. Some of the stories are clearly presented as fiction or fairy tales. Most of the stories are presented as “the truth” . When one is taught “the truth” that eliminates the possibilities that the story your neighbors learn is “the truth” or even “a truth”. Some of the stories we learn even here in these United States include:
Growth starts with the decision to be open to the possibility that one’s past story does not have to determine one’s future story; that the story one learned and adopted can be changed. This can then lead to a willingness to identify and more honestly and closely examine some of the “truths” which make up one’s story; truths about ourselves, our relationships with each other and our relationship to a larger world.
Sometimes one starts this process with allowing oneself to think about one’s ideal story. Assuming one does not go off to never, never land, i. e. “My dream is I want to be Prince Harry.” or “I want to be a basketball star even though I am 5’1” and have no talent for sports, one is free to create a story which would make one proud of oneself.
While we are not in charge of external circumstance – war, domestic violence, accidents, illness – we are in charge of how we respond to events. The core of one’s story is not the details as much as the flexibility and nature of the dance. When those waiting to die in the NAZI camps did not have musical instruments or even pen and paper they created music. Eventually they were given instruments because they were then easier to control while they waiting their turn in the gas chambers. Today we have much of that music which has been recorded by symphony orchestras. When my friend had polio and was in a wheelchair her parents showed her how to live independently which means today she continues to be the captain of her ship
No one has control over our life dance. One can, if not careful however, allow old lies to have control over the dance one creates and allows myself. It is our job to seize and celebrate that power. Keith Maillard, author of Fatherless never knew his father but he found other mentors. Eventually he became a college professor and acclaimed author. His sadness and anger about his missing father did not determine his dance.
We do not have to continue to allow the lies to write our story. It is our story to create and live. The starting point is identifying and throwing out old lies.
Written November 5 and 6, 2019
Jimmy F Pickett
copachpickett.org
We begin learning stories from the time we are very young. Some of the stories are clearly presented as fiction or fairy tales. Most of the stories are presented as “the truth” . When one is taught “the truth” that eliminates the possibilities that the story your neighbors learn is “the truth” or even “a truth”. Some of the stories we learn even here in these United States include:
- Some cultural groups are more deserving that others.
- The male gender is worth more/more valuable than the female gender.
- Males and females have essentially different skills, talents and abilities.
- Male skills are worth more money.
- Those who are more deserving are have more of the wealth.
- One “needs” the latest fashion, game, toy, etc.
- Intellectual intelligence is more important than emotional or spiritual intelligence.
- There is but one true god – the god of one’s understanding.
- One’s country is superior to other countries.
- One skin pigmentation tells one something important.
- Sex is for procreation only or pleasure only.
- Children become adult at certain ages regardless of what science is saying about brain development.
- One has free will and is always responsible for one’s decisions.
- People who attend certain schools are better educated.
- Those who memorize a lot of information are smarter than those who are not able to do so.
- Life is supposed to be fair.
- Biological procreators are the best parents.
- Being abused has to determine one’s future.
- Only bad people go to jail.
- People choose to be addicted to food, alcohol, other drugs, sex, money, power, and possessions.
- Creative people are born and not developed or taught
- We cannot change our story.
Growth starts with the decision to be open to the possibility that one’s past story does not have to determine one’s future story; that the story one learned and adopted can be changed. This can then lead to a willingness to identify and more honestly and closely examine some of the “truths” which make up one’s story; truths about ourselves, our relationships with each other and our relationship to a larger world.
Sometimes one starts this process with allowing oneself to think about one’s ideal story. Assuming one does not go off to never, never land, i. e. “My dream is I want to be Prince Harry.” or “I want to be a basketball star even though I am 5’1” and have no talent for sports, one is free to create a story which would make one proud of oneself.
While we are not in charge of external circumstance – war, domestic violence, accidents, illness – we are in charge of how we respond to events. The core of one’s story is not the details as much as the flexibility and nature of the dance. When those waiting to die in the NAZI camps did not have musical instruments or even pen and paper they created music. Eventually they were given instruments because they were then easier to control while they waiting their turn in the gas chambers. Today we have much of that music which has been recorded by symphony orchestras. When my friend had polio and was in a wheelchair her parents showed her how to live independently which means today she continues to be the captain of her ship
No one has control over our life dance. One can, if not careful however, allow old lies to have control over the dance one creates and allows myself. It is our job to seize and celebrate that power. Keith Maillard, author of Fatherless never knew his father but he found other mentors. Eventually he became a college professor and acclaimed author. His sadness and anger about his missing father did not determine his dance.
We do not have to continue to allow the lies to write our story. It is our story to create and live. The starting point is identifying and throwing out old lies.
Written November 5 and 6, 2019
Jimmy F Pickett
copachpickett.org
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