Steps one and two of a 12 step recovery program
Yesterday, I wrote about the fact that some people reject the use of a 12-step recovery program because of the use of the term god in the steps. If one considers oneself an atheist than it can be difficult to accept that the program could be useful. Yesterday, in my blog, I suggested that one could substitute any term or phrase such as power greater than oneself or good orderly direction for the term god.
The term god does not actually make an appearance in the 12 steps until the third step. The first step is simply: “We admitted we were powerless over our addiction/over alcohol; that our lives had become unmanageable.” This step is based on the experience of addicts that when one feeds or gives in to the behavior/drug of choice the drug takes over. While the non-addict may be able to have an occasional beer, joint or whatever, the mind of the addict is kidnapped by the addictive substance or behavior when one takes that first drink, uses that first drug or eats that sweet food. (some substances such an opioid seems to kidnap a large percentage of people who use them). The addict cannot safely indulge the addictive urge. They might appear to do controlled use for a time but eventually the addictive habit is triggered and the addiction is off and running.
Steps 2 is exactly the same for AA, NA and many of the other 12 step programs. “We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.” This is the first hint of a phrase which many may associate with God. Yet this step only requires that one accept that one needs help. One cannot recovery/heal alone. One can reach out to other group members for support every time one has the urge to feed one’s addiction. One can also provide support to others who are struggling to recover from active addiction. The program is based on one addict/alcoholic helping other addicts. (NA will always use the term addict while AA will use the term alcoholic.) If one feels like using one can call another addict to talk one through the obsessive urge to use. One does this instead of using. One can also go to a 12-step meeting and talk to the group about whatever is stressful. Unlike a partner/spouse or other family member the addict understands why one needs support until the obsessive thought/feelings has lessened. One can have a list of a hundred or more phone numbers. One can frequently call a hot line number and talk to someone. One can also connect with other recovering addicts in a telephone or on line meetings. Additionally, there are the resources of the 12 step books and other literature.
One also does not want to discount the value of the healthy voice inside one’s own head. One is not one’s addiction. Writing will often help one access that healthy voice which represents one’s true values. If a recovering/healing person is a parent or even an aunt or uncle I might ask what advice they would give to their child/niece/nephew in a similar situation. Almost 100% of the time the healthy part of them would be able to give healthy, helpful advice to the child. This is the voice which can also tell the addict what to do also.
The bottom line is that we all need a healthy support group, the members of which will love us unconditionally while challenging our unhealthy thinking. The addict can find that support from various support groups but most readily in the we of the 12-step meetings/program.
Written May 16, 2018
Yesterday, I wrote about the fact that some people reject the use of a 12-step recovery program because of the use of the term god in the steps. If one considers oneself an atheist than it can be difficult to accept that the program could be useful. Yesterday, in my blog, I suggested that one could substitute any term or phrase such as power greater than oneself or good orderly direction for the term god.
The term god does not actually make an appearance in the 12 steps until the third step. The first step is simply: “We admitted we were powerless over our addiction/over alcohol; that our lives had become unmanageable.” This step is based on the experience of addicts that when one feeds or gives in to the behavior/drug of choice the drug takes over. While the non-addict may be able to have an occasional beer, joint or whatever, the mind of the addict is kidnapped by the addictive substance or behavior when one takes that first drink, uses that first drug or eats that sweet food. (some substances such an opioid seems to kidnap a large percentage of people who use them). The addict cannot safely indulge the addictive urge. They might appear to do controlled use for a time but eventually the addictive habit is triggered and the addiction is off and running.
Steps 2 is exactly the same for AA, NA and many of the other 12 step programs. “We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.” This is the first hint of a phrase which many may associate with God. Yet this step only requires that one accept that one needs help. One cannot recovery/heal alone. One can reach out to other group members for support every time one has the urge to feed one’s addiction. One can also provide support to others who are struggling to recover from active addiction. The program is based on one addict/alcoholic helping other addicts. (NA will always use the term addict while AA will use the term alcoholic.) If one feels like using one can call another addict to talk one through the obsessive urge to use. One does this instead of using. One can also go to a 12-step meeting and talk to the group about whatever is stressful. Unlike a partner/spouse or other family member the addict understands why one needs support until the obsessive thought/feelings has lessened. One can have a list of a hundred or more phone numbers. One can frequently call a hot line number and talk to someone. One can also connect with other recovering addicts in a telephone or on line meetings. Additionally, there are the resources of the 12 step books and other literature.
One also does not want to discount the value of the healthy voice inside one’s own head. One is not one’s addiction. Writing will often help one access that healthy voice which represents one’s true values. If a recovering/healing person is a parent or even an aunt or uncle I might ask what advice they would give to their child/niece/nephew in a similar situation. Almost 100% of the time the healthy part of them would be able to give healthy, helpful advice to the child. This is the voice which can also tell the addict what to do also.
The bottom line is that we all need a healthy support group, the members of which will love us unconditionally while challenging our unhealthy thinking. The addict can find that support from various support groups but most readily in the we of the 12-step meetings/program.
Written May 16, 2018
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