Sunday Musings – April 23, 2017
As I settle into this Sunday, I am thinking of an exercise which workshop presenters often use with those of us who are health care workers. This exercise involves practicing being present with all or at least most of one’s senses. The workshop facilitator asks participants to start naming and then describing one’s experience with all that they see, feel, smell. Hear, and taste. In the beginning of the exercise, the list is quite short and one wonders what one is expected to taste. Eventually, the list is quite long no matter how sterile the setting may seem. One even begins to be aware of the ‘taste” of the air or what one’s smells. Although both psychologist and physicians have become increasing reliant on blood tests, mechanical or paper and pencil (computer) tests, research results continue to confirm that if the clinician will carefully examine/be present with the patient/client he or she will find out a lot about what is going on with the patient/client. At times, it is not only what the patient/client is telling the clinician but what he or she is not telling the clinician which will begin to unlock the mystery of the “dis ease” with which the patient/client is presenting.
Before we are able to attend to what is going on externally, we must often practice the art of being present to ourselves. I have just communicated with a client who I am hoping will allow himself to use the 12-step program as he begins another chapter in his recovery/ spiritual growth program. I suggested that he read the 12-step literature on the HOW of the program. The HOW of the program is honesty, open mindedness and willingness. The client may discover many parts or nuances of his struggle to let go of his addictive behavior. He will discover much about himself which needs to be celebrated and much for which, at first, he may be tempted to shame or chastise himself. When he begins to share with others who are also willing to practice the HOW, he will discover that there is nothing unique about his humanness. While some of his particular talents are unique to him, his overall humanness and ability for loving and hurtful behavior is no different than that of others.
I must now again challenge myself with the HOW.
This week as I daily “tuned in” to myself and some of what is external, I rediscovered the extent to which I rely on the illusion of independence, the distance I have yet to travel to get past kindergarten class in unconditionally loving myself and others and the simple, but profound joy of friendship. Several events prompted these opportunities to rediscover the “facts” about myself:
Goodness. When I began to mentally review the week it seemed as if there was little to review, but once I began to write I found, not surprisingly, that as long as I keep the focus on me and what I have control over I have much too much to occupy my time and attention. Of course, it is more comfortable in some ways to focus on what “they” are doing or not doing whether the “they” are colleagues, acquaintances, members of the state legislature or the United States Congress. I could easily focus my thoughts, feelings and perceptions of the behavior of HIM, the president of these United States. I am acutely aware of the internal struggle between critiquing others or focusing on my stated goal of spiritual growth or lack thereof.
At the moment, I am feeling very grateful for my eyesight and the fact that I was able to get the cataract surgery. I am also feeling grateful that I am learning a tiny bit about humility and how to use all my senses to be present to myself, others and the universe. For today, that is as much as I can do.
All in all, a very rich week for which I am grateful.
Written April 23, 2017
As I settle into this Sunday, I am thinking of an exercise which workshop presenters often use with those of us who are health care workers. This exercise involves practicing being present with all or at least most of one’s senses. The workshop facilitator asks participants to start naming and then describing one’s experience with all that they see, feel, smell. Hear, and taste. In the beginning of the exercise, the list is quite short and one wonders what one is expected to taste. Eventually, the list is quite long no matter how sterile the setting may seem. One even begins to be aware of the ‘taste” of the air or what one’s smells. Although both psychologist and physicians have become increasing reliant on blood tests, mechanical or paper and pencil (computer) tests, research results continue to confirm that if the clinician will carefully examine/be present with the patient/client he or she will find out a lot about what is going on with the patient/client. At times, it is not only what the patient/client is telling the clinician but what he or she is not telling the clinician which will begin to unlock the mystery of the “dis ease” with which the patient/client is presenting.
Before we are able to attend to what is going on externally, we must often practice the art of being present to ourselves. I have just communicated with a client who I am hoping will allow himself to use the 12-step program as he begins another chapter in his recovery/ spiritual growth program. I suggested that he read the 12-step literature on the HOW of the program. The HOW of the program is honesty, open mindedness and willingness. The client may discover many parts or nuances of his struggle to let go of his addictive behavior. He will discover much about himself which needs to be celebrated and much for which, at first, he may be tempted to shame or chastise himself. When he begins to share with others who are also willing to practice the HOW, he will discover that there is nothing unique about his humanness. While some of his particular talents are unique to him, his overall humanness and ability for loving and hurtful behavior is no different than that of others.
I must now again challenge myself with the HOW.
This week as I daily “tuned in” to myself and some of what is external, I rediscovered the extent to which I rely on the illusion of independence, the distance I have yet to travel to get past kindergarten class in unconditionally loving myself and others and the simple, but profound joy of friendship. Several events prompted these opportunities to rediscover the “facts” about myself:
- I had right eye cataract surgery on Tuesday. This took place in Pittsburgh which meant that I had to ask a friend to take several hours or most of his day out of his normal rest schedule (he works nights), drive me to the hospital, wait for me and bring me home.
- Despite “suggestions” by the medical experts that I not drive the next morning back to Pittsburgh from Wheeling to have the patch removed and the eye checked I decided that since many people are legally permitted to drive with sight in only one eye I would be fine and drove myself to Pittsburgh. That way I did not have to bother anyone else!
- I was not at all at peace with the fact that my movements would be restricted for the next week or so, I. e. no lifting or bending over.
- The one year anniversary death of my mother will occur this week. This triggers many memories, some of which are pleasant and some of which are painful. As with all or most children my experience with both of my parents was occasionally very easy and loving and, at other times, more complicated. I was very hopeful a year ago that mother would be released from s life journey which had often been painful for her and which had sharply decreased in quality the past few years. Thankfully that happened.
- I attended an event in Wheeling where I was blessed to see and visit with many people who presences has significantly enriched my life for many years. We were attending a program featuring excerpts from the works of our friends Ron and Jeremy.
- I continued the work which has given me such joy and constantly challenges me to ask myself if I am willing to do what I recommend to others.
- I also continued to write daily which provides opportunity to explore my thoughts, feeling and behavior to the best of my current ability to be honest, open minded and willing!
- I had other opportunities to focus on the behavior of others or to keep the focus on my behavior
Goodness. When I began to mentally review the week it seemed as if there was little to review, but once I began to write I found, not surprisingly, that as long as I keep the focus on me and what I have control over I have much too much to occupy my time and attention. Of course, it is more comfortable in some ways to focus on what “they” are doing or not doing whether the “they” are colleagues, acquaintances, members of the state legislature or the United States Congress. I could easily focus my thoughts, feelings and perceptions of the behavior of HIM, the president of these United States. I am acutely aware of the internal struggle between critiquing others or focusing on my stated goal of spiritual growth or lack thereof.
At the moment, I am feeling very grateful for my eyesight and the fact that I was able to get the cataract surgery. I am also feeling grateful that I am learning a tiny bit about humility and how to use all my senses to be present to myself, others and the universe. For today, that is as much as I can do.
All in all, a very rich week for which I am grateful.
Written April 23, 2017
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