Sunday Musings – April 28, 2019
On this Sunday morning in the Eastern time zone of the United States, one-week post Easter for some and, for others, Easter, I am acutely aware of the commandment of Jesus to love your neighbor as yourself. I am also acutely aware that many of us do not make it easy to forgive and love us. We may handle the basic lack of ego strength by attempting to bully and criticize others. Many of the individuals for whom I work are struggling to reclaim a life after living in active addiction for a long time. As is common knowledge addiction forces one to engage in behavior which deeply violates one’s core values. Many other factors can leave any of us feeling desperate and compelled to engage in behavior which is unkind or even cruel.
While it is easy, if one allows oneself, to imagine being driven to that desperate state, at times it is difficult to respond to the worst moments or behavior of others in a way which honors this commandment of Jesus. Of course, all of us would love it if others responded to our worst moments with love. Yet, some of us might decide we are undeserving and reject the offered love. While listening to the Ted Radio Hour at the gym this morning I was reminded of the power of secrets – secrets about which we feel shameful or secrets for which we fear others would shame us if they knew. When one is convinced one has to hold on to such secrets one often sets up a shield of anger, judgment or false ego. This takes up a lot of energy and does not accomplish anything positive. Releasing the secret, especially to one who will not shame one, can free up a lot of energy and allow others to love one.
Frank Warren has an ongoing art project PostSecret.com where he posts some of the secrets shared with him via postcards. Many individuals share their secrets by writing a post card and sending it to him. He reads them all. Those secrets which he feels are too dangerous or private to share he puts in a brick like bundle and stores in his basement. Many people are eager to share their secrets and may not have a therapist, trusted friend, a religious cleric or sponsor with whom to share. Yet, they share with Frank Warren.
The man who reminded us to love our neighbors as ourselves knew no secret was too shameful or too unusual to share. His love was unconditional. His treatment of others told them that they were worth loving. In turn they often were the able to release themselves to love themselves and others. The bully is simply a man or woman with a secret; often a secret of fear that they are not worth loving. Our job is to quit taking the behavior of others personal and to love them - secrets and all - as we would like to be loved. This process begins with accepting that we are worth loving ; that our secrets do not define us; that it is safe to share them with the God of our understanding; to share with those who stand in for the God of our understanding – the Frank Warrens.
Written. April 28, 2019
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
On this Sunday morning in the Eastern time zone of the United States, one-week post Easter for some and, for others, Easter, I am acutely aware of the commandment of Jesus to love your neighbor as yourself. I am also acutely aware that many of us do not make it easy to forgive and love us. We may handle the basic lack of ego strength by attempting to bully and criticize others. Many of the individuals for whom I work are struggling to reclaim a life after living in active addiction for a long time. As is common knowledge addiction forces one to engage in behavior which deeply violates one’s core values. Many other factors can leave any of us feeling desperate and compelled to engage in behavior which is unkind or even cruel.
While it is easy, if one allows oneself, to imagine being driven to that desperate state, at times it is difficult to respond to the worst moments or behavior of others in a way which honors this commandment of Jesus. Of course, all of us would love it if others responded to our worst moments with love. Yet, some of us might decide we are undeserving and reject the offered love. While listening to the Ted Radio Hour at the gym this morning I was reminded of the power of secrets – secrets about which we feel shameful or secrets for which we fear others would shame us if they knew. When one is convinced one has to hold on to such secrets one often sets up a shield of anger, judgment or false ego. This takes up a lot of energy and does not accomplish anything positive. Releasing the secret, especially to one who will not shame one, can free up a lot of energy and allow others to love one.
Frank Warren has an ongoing art project PostSecret.com where he posts some of the secrets shared with him via postcards. Many individuals share their secrets by writing a post card and sending it to him. He reads them all. Those secrets which he feels are too dangerous or private to share he puts in a brick like bundle and stores in his basement. Many people are eager to share their secrets and may not have a therapist, trusted friend, a religious cleric or sponsor with whom to share. Yet, they share with Frank Warren.
The man who reminded us to love our neighbors as ourselves knew no secret was too shameful or too unusual to share. His love was unconditional. His treatment of others told them that they were worth loving. In turn they often were the able to release themselves to love themselves and others. The bully is simply a man or woman with a secret; often a secret of fear that they are not worth loving. Our job is to quit taking the behavior of others personal and to love them - secrets and all - as we would like to be loved. This process begins with accepting that we are worth loving ; that our secrets do not define us; that it is safe to share them with the God of our understanding; to share with those who stand in for the God of our understanding – the Frank Warrens.
Written. April 28, 2019
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
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