Sunday Musings – August 6, 2017
As I sit here thinking about the past week, in most respects it seemed to be, once again, pretty routine. I attended a fundraiser for a recovery center, listened to a lead by a recovering man living in Charleston, South Carolina, lunched with two good friends who happen to be father and son, spent time with clients, attended three coining outs as folks finished a segment of their recovery journey, wrote, enjoyed time at the Frist Friday Artworks exhibition, attended a passionate and, thus, exciting performance of Godspell, attended another 12-step lead, and dined with three enchanting and interesting friends.
Of course, I am also a citizen and was often a witness to the difficulty we humans have in deciding who is deserving to be in the “we.” As soon as someone is included in the “we” most of us have no trouble thinking that “we” deserve good health care, respectful treatment, access to a good education, and an equal opportunity to be treated with respect by the so-called judicial system. If one has a belief in some God of one’s understanding all members of the “we” are deserving of the Grace/the unconditional love of that God of one’s understanding.
As I bear witness as a citizen or as if put on my anthropologist cloak I am forced to first bear witness to all those I exclude from my “we;” all those who keep flunking the exam I give them – usually in absentia. This exam is a detailed vetting exam which I apparently keep on the computer so that I can add or subtract various questions.
Listening to a rebroadcast of a 2015 podcast of an On Being conversation between Marty Catherine Bateson and Krista Tippett reminded me of the importance of working towards being both fully present and an observer. These dual roles are most apparent in my relationship with myself. It is interesting to me that in order to be observer I must be fully present or I must have a goal of being fully present. This requires a non-judgmental honesty with myself which does not seem to come naturally. Perhaps it did as a very young child, but I am not sure of that. It is so much easier and it certainly seems more “natural’ for me to point out the faults of others. Yet, given my background, in one ear I hear the chatting of such folks as Plato, Aristotle, Kierkegaard, Vera Britton, Mother Theresa, and many other wise men and women while simultaneously in the other ear I hear the chatting of all those voices within me which are critical. When I allow myself to be fully present to both set of voices I am very clear about which set I want to follow although it may not be without the accompaniment of my whining about the unfairness of life.
This week I have been acutely aware of the fact that on certain days or portion of days I am not present enough to observe. I am much too busy cataloging the sins of those who do not live up to my standards. I find this particularly easy with certain politicians and, at times, I seem to have no trouble doing this even with those I consider close friends.
On this Sunday morning I will hesitate before throwing the first stone at others or parts of myself. Earlier this week I suggested to a man who was completing the first phase of his journey of recovery from active addiction to drugs that he accept two tools from me - a shovel and a sledge hammer. The sledge hammer was for tearing down those walls which separate one from oneself and from others and the shovel was for cleaning out the space within those walls of all the lies and negatives laying behind those walls. Of course, as usual, the teacher was really the student talking to himself.
I have collected a lot of loving support this week – enough for me to risk being both present and to non-judgmentally observe. I will remind myself to be grateful.
Written August 6, 2017
As I sit here thinking about the past week, in most respects it seemed to be, once again, pretty routine. I attended a fundraiser for a recovery center, listened to a lead by a recovering man living in Charleston, South Carolina, lunched with two good friends who happen to be father and son, spent time with clients, attended three coining outs as folks finished a segment of their recovery journey, wrote, enjoyed time at the Frist Friday Artworks exhibition, attended a passionate and, thus, exciting performance of Godspell, attended another 12-step lead, and dined with three enchanting and interesting friends.
Of course, I am also a citizen and was often a witness to the difficulty we humans have in deciding who is deserving to be in the “we.” As soon as someone is included in the “we” most of us have no trouble thinking that “we” deserve good health care, respectful treatment, access to a good education, and an equal opportunity to be treated with respect by the so-called judicial system. If one has a belief in some God of one’s understanding all members of the “we” are deserving of the Grace/the unconditional love of that God of one’s understanding.
As I bear witness as a citizen or as if put on my anthropologist cloak I am forced to first bear witness to all those I exclude from my “we;” all those who keep flunking the exam I give them – usually in absentia. This exam is a detailed vetting exam which I apparently keep on the computer so that I can add or subtract various questions.
Listening to a rebroadcast of a 2015 podcast of an On Being conversation between Marty Catherine Bateson and Krista Tippett reminded me of the importance of working towards being both fully present and an observer. These dual roles are most apparent in my relationship with myself. It is interesting to me that in order to be observer I must be fully present or I must have a goal of being fully present. This requires a non-judgmental honesty with myself which does not seem to come naturally. Perhaps it did as a very young child, but I am not sure of that. It is so much easier and it certainly seems more “natural’ for me to point out the faults of others. Yet, given my background, in one ear I hear the chatting of such folks as Plato, Aristotle, Kierkegaard, Vera Britton, Mother Theresa, and many other wise men and women while simultaneously in the other ear I hear the chatting of all those voices within me which are critical. When I allow myself to be fully present to both set of voices I am very clear about which set I want to follow although it may not be without the accompaniment of my whining about the unfairness of life.
This week I have been acutely aware of the fact that on certain days or portion of days I am not present enough to observe. I am much too busy cataloging the sins of those who do not live up to my standards. I find this particularly easy with certain politicians and, at times, I seem to have no trouble doing this even with those I consider close friends.
On this Sunday morning I will hesitate before throwing the first stone at others or parts of myself. Earlier this week I suggested to a man who was completing the first phase of his journey of recovery from active addiction to drugs that he accept two tools from me - a shovel and a sledge hammer. The sledge hammer was for tearing down those walls which separate one from oneself and from others and the shovel was for cleaning out the space within those walls of all the lies and negatives laying behind those walls. Of course, as usual, the teacher was really the student talking to himself.
I have collected a lot of loving support this week – enough for me to risk being both present and to non-judgmentally observe. I will remind myself to be grateful.
Written August 6, 2017
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