Sunday Musings – August 7, 2022
Attachments - Shenpa
The Buddhist nun and teacher, Pema Chodron has often spoken about the Tibetan concept of Shenpa. In the Summer 2009 edition of Tricycle, in an article entitled “Don’t Bite the Hook’ she says, “In Tibetan there is a word that points to the root cause of aggression, the root cause also of craving. It points to a familiar experience that is at the root of all conflict, all cruelty, oppression, and greed. The word is Shenpa. The usual translation is “attachment, “ but this doesn’t adequately express the full meaning. I think of Shenpa as “getting hooked. Another definition, used by Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche, is the “charge”-the charge behind our thoughts and worlds and actions, the charge behind “like”and “don’t like.’’’
Actually, I find the word attachment helpful realizing, of course, that all words have very particular meaning for each of us. When I think of attachment in this spiritual sense, I think of getting super glued to an object, a person, an outcome and or some objective. For example, just this past week I got upset because a large payment I had mailed over three weeks ago had not reached or not been processed by the company which owns my credit card. I was attached to the belief that the post office had to deliver mail in what I considered a prompt manner. I blamed my being upset on the post office but, in fact it was my attachment to the expectations of how the post office “should” function at all times which led to my frustration.
Shenpa often begins with my expectations. I expected to be able to make the marriage to my son’s mother work. I expected that my son’s bipolar illness and how I dealt with it to not adversely affect the relationship between my son and me. I expected to complete my engineering degree even though I passively allowed myself to accept an invitation to study engineering knowing it was not my passion. I expect certain politicians to act in certain ways.
Once I adopt an expectation, I can make my sense of worth and peace of mind dependent on the expectations becoming manifest reality. When my expectations are not realized I may become angry, frustrated, or disappointed and act out those feeling in a manner which is not consistent with my spiritual goals - my ideal self. My expectations can lead to attachment preventing me from moving forward in my spiritual journey. I can even become attached to not having shenpa or at least having less of it. The more I become attached to not having shenpa the more shenpa I will experience.
The late Richard Carlson published a book in 1997 entitle. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff and It Is All Small Stuff: Simple Ways to Keep the Little Things from Taking Over Your Life. It became a best seller. He died at the young age of 45 as he was beginning to promote his new book “Don’t Get Scrooged”. The message in his books is still a poignant reminder that if one keeps one’s expectations realistic and merely as possibilities one will not have shenpa and lose one’s spiritual center. Although one will certainly grieve the loss of relationships, goals or possessions in the long run these loses do not have to determine one’s contentment or happiness.
Most of us can review our past and remember feeling as if X or Y was essential to our happiness or even our well-being. At that moment X or Y seemed extremely important and, yet, if we are remembering these events we survived and perhaps even found the loss of X or Y was a necessary step to the next blessings in this brief life journey. Most of us can remember when we could not imagine being our current age and, yet here we are. Recently a close friend died, and another is under the care of hospice. There is long list of deceased individuals who, at one time, I was convinced had to stay alive and be an active part of my life if life was to have any purpose. Yet, I have gone on to enjoy a life of new experiences and perhaps a sense of purpose I could not previously imagine.
We are all going to fall into the trap of shenpa. We all will, at times, feel as if X or Y or Z is essential to our happiness. The goal is not to be shenpa free but to notice shenpa when it visits; to notice without assigning a value to it; notice without labeling as good, bad, right or wrong while allowing ourselves to briefly experience the grief, anger or frustration - again without judgement. This leaves us open to the next blessing; the next sunrise; the next rainbow; the next moment of joyful connection with another; the next moment with the relief and blessing of having fewer attachments.
Written August 7, 2022
Jimmy F Pickett
Coachpickett.org
.
Attachments - Shenpa
The Buddhist nun and teacher, Pema Chodron has often spoken about the Tibetan concept of Shenpa. In the Summer 2009 edition of Tricycle, in an article entitled “Don’t Bite the Hook’ she says, “In Tibetan there is a word that points to the root cause of aggression, the root cause also of craving. It points to a familiar experience that is at the root of all conflict, all cruelty, oppression, and greed. The word is Shenpa. The usual translation is “attachment, “ but this doesn’t adequately express the full meaning. I think of Shenpa as “getting hooked. Another definition, used by Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche, is the “charge”-the charge behind our thoughts and worlds and actions, the charge behind “like”and “don’t like.’’’
Actually, I find the word attachment helpful realizing, of course, that all words have very particular meaning for each of us. When I think of attachment in this spiritual sense, I think of getting super glued to an object, a person, an outcome and or some objective. For example, just this past week I got upset because a large payment I had mailed over three weeks ago had not reached or not been processed by the company which owns my credit card. I was attached to the belief that the post office had to deliver mail in what I considered a prompt manner. I blamed my being upset on the post office but, in fact it was my attachment to the expectations of how the post office “should” function at all times which led to my frustration.
Shenpa often begins with my expectations. I expected to be able to make the marriage to my son’s mother work. I expected that my son’s bipolar illness and how I dealt with it to not adversely affect the relationship between my son and me. I expected to complete my engineering degree even though I passively allowed myself to accept an invitation to study engineering knowing it was not my passion. I expect certain politicians to act in certain ways.
Once I adopt an expectation, I can make my sense of worth and peace of mind dependent on the expectations becoming manifest reality. When my expectations are not realized I may become angry, frustrated, or disappointed and act out those feeling in a manner which is not consistent with my spiritual goals - my ideal self. My expectations can lead to attachment preventing me from moving forward in my spiritual journey. I can even become attached to not having shenpa or at least having less of it. The more I become attached to not having shenpa the more shenpa I will experience.
The late Richard Carlson published a book in 1997 entitle. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff and It Is All Small Stuff: Simple Ways to Keep the Little Things from Taking Over Your Life. It became a best seller. He died at the young age of 45 as he was beginning to promote his new book “Don’t Get Scrooged”. The message in his books is still a poignant reminder that if one keeps one’s expectations realistic and merely as possibilities one will not have shenpa and lose one’s spiritual center. Although one will certainly grieve the loss of relationships, goals or possessions in the long run these loses do not have to determine one’s contentment or happiness.
Most of us can review our past and remember feeling as if X or Y was essential to our happiness or even our well-being. At that moment X or Y seemed extremely important and, yet, if we are remembering these events we survived and perhaps even found the loss of X or Y was a necessary step to the next blessings in this brief life journey. Most of us can remember when we could not imagine being our current age and, yet here we are. Recently a close friend died, and another is under the care of hospice. There is long list of deceased individuals who, at one time, I was convinced had to stay alive and be an active part of my life if life was to have any purpose. Yet, I have gone on to enjoy a life of new experiences and perhaps a sense of purpose I could not previously imagine.
We are all going to fall into the trap of shenpa. We all will, at times, feel as if X or Y or Z is essential to our happiness. The goal is not to be shenpa free but to notice shenpa when it visits; to notice without assigning a value to it; notice without labeling as good, bad, right or wrong while allowing ourselves to briefly experience the grief, anger or frustration - again without judgement. This leaves us open to the next blessing; the next sunrise; the next rainbow; the next moment of joyful connection with another; the next moment with the relief and blessing of having fewer attachments.
Written August 7, 2022
Jimmy F Pickett
Coachpickett.org
.
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