Sunday Musings - August 8, 2021
New shoes
On August 7, 2021, I attended a men’s breakfast at Church on the Move in Tulsa Oklahoma with my nephew Tony. Although the theology of the leadership of his church is often at odds with my understanding of Christian theology, my intention is to listen with an open mind and heart. When I am successful in holding on to my intention, I come away with a precious jewel. Such was the case on August 6. The speaker was Dusty Otis from Detroit where he and his wife Heather have started a “compassionate driven non-profit called ‘One City’. They believe God has called them to unite Detroit by bringing life and adding value to people through local outreach, church plants and consulting, and online Services.” (happeningnext.com)
One of the stories which Dusty told in his brief talk was of a homeless woman named Delores. Every morning Delores would ask for a dollar. Since Dusty never carries cash, he never gave her anything. One morning he asked her, “Delores what do you need?” She replied, “Shoes”. He was able to purchase some shoes to replace the ones she was wearing which were without soles.”
I was reminded, once again, that I often get so focused on helping people with what I may think they need, I neglect to ask them, “What do you need?” Sharon Salzberg, an esteemed meditation teacher and author, in an August 5, 2021, conversation with Krista Tippett, host of the podcast On Being reminds the listener of the 5 hinderances in Buddhist philosophy: Clinging or attachment, aversion (anger and fear), sleepiness/numbness (avoidance), restlessness (anxiety, guilt, worry), and doubt or cynicism (questioning or wondering). One might say that these are hinderance to being at peace, contentment, or hearing what is needed. They can also be hinderances to being present to self and others. It is not that any of these are wrong. They are all normal, human responses to facing life; to being in what I term a state of “dis ease”. From a Buddhist perspective the goal is to non-judgmentally notice one’s response and then decide the relationship one will have with one’s response. Obviously, one can choose to just stay attached or cling to a sense of “dis ease”, be angry and blaming, to numb oneself in some way, be anxious or endlessly question or do research. Whatever the response, the question one may want to ask is the same question Sharon Salzberg asks, “What relationship do I want with my response or to the event which triggered the response.
I have a friend who when he has a physical symptom of his body being off balance becomes anxious and endlessly researches it. He soon decides he has some life threatening or disabling condition. This can be his response to a sinus infection which is uncomfortable, and which may or may not need medical attention or to a simple cold. He embraces his anxiety until he becomes his anxiety. This, as Ms. Salzburg states, becomes a hinderance to peace or contentment - being able to face life on life’s terms - to “dis ease”.
What do I need? I do not need to live in a perfect world which considers only my needs and wants. Obviously, that is not going to happen. I do not need a supply of substances to keep me permanently numbed. Perhaps I need a different relationship with the cement under my feet, a new pair of shoes.
My intention and goal today is to “keep it simple”; to notice the hinderance and focus on the relationship; to ask myself and others, “What do I/you need.”
On this Sunday, which is my sabbath, I do not need a complicated theology, a god who is going to punish me for my humanness, or even for someone to ask, “Do you know Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed, or some other teacher as God?” I need a healthier relationship with the hinderances I have consciously or unconsciously adopted/chosen.
Written August 8, 2021
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
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