Sunday Musings – January 22, 2017
This is the first Sunday under the new president of the United States. Here in Wheeling it is unseasonably warm and sunny. Many of us are hoping that the weather is a metaphor for the a new and positive chapter for this county.
It would be easy for me to allow myself to be dragged into the negative space of those predicting gloom and doom. It would also be easy for me to fall into the negative space of judging those I experience as judgmental. When I sat down to write this morning my first words were judgmental of those who I perceive to be judgmental. I was negative rather than focusing on what each of us can do to create an atmosphere which is conducive to positive, creative dialogue.
I loved the fact that so many people I knew joined women from around the world to demonstrate that women in all parts of the world are willing to work for - stand up for - the right of women to be treated as equals members of the community who can determine what is best for their emotional, financial, and mental health. Every woman and man that I know who took part in this event wanted to be sure the message was clear – the message that they were not interested in taking away the rights of anyone to make choices which fit their needs and their core value system. There may have been a few whose message was not so positive and in fact was more anti, but that was not true of the women (and men) I knew.
I am well aware that we need to talk about health care, racism and other forms of overt and covert discrimination, the judicial system, and the role of the all nations including that of the United Nations to bring about a more peace and just world.
I am also acutely aware that I am a very privileged white male. I did nothing to attain that place and I need not feel guilty about being predominantly white and male. I do feel an enormous sense of responsibility for using that position of power in a way which is consistent with eliminating the social construct of race and that of gender.
More than anything I am aware today that I want to practice being open to listening. I “find myself” wanting to tell President Trump, other government and elected officials, “Could you just listen to yourself and your cronies?” That would be easy and accomplish nothing. The more challenging job for me is to listen both to the words and to the underlying emotions which may make it difficult for them to hear me.
On this Sunday morning the challenge for me as a member of the body politic is to model what I say I want to hear from others. I say I want to hear more positive statements. I want to hear a message that reaches deep down into our soul and proclaims, “We are better than our most unkind, discriminatory, elitist, racist, arrogant selves.” I am better than my most unkind, discriminatory, elitist, racist, arrogant self.
As a mental health counselor who often works for/with individuals and families with chronic illnesses, I need to constantly remind myself that it is my job to do my best to create a safe place for individuals to continue their healing journey. It is not my job to question whether they want to get well. It may seem as if they are coming to see me merely to get an employer, family member or someone else off their back. That may be true. Trying a new medication, letting go of an addictive drug, taking the risk of failing, letting go of a love relationship which has become abusive are tough, sad and frightening. It is not my job to assume that “if they really wanted to get better” they would do X, Y or Z.” It is my job to explore an option which might be more effective while not denying that the concerns and fears they have are real.
If I can do this for clients, can I also do it for my neighbor who disagrees with my approach to solving problems, my political views or even my core values? Can I do this with elected and appointed officials?
All too often I “find myself” falling into the trap of being negative or judgmental of those “others” who are judgmental.
While I do not want to morbidly obsess about such issues today, I do want to face my own humanness with love and a sense of humor. From that stance I might have more creative thoughts for the next right thing to do in addressing community issues which concern me and others.
Written January 22, 2017
This is the first Sunday under the new president of the United States. Here in Wheeling it is unseasonably warm and sunny. Many of us are hoping that the weather is a metaphor for the a new and positive chapter for this county.
It would be easy for me to allow myself to be dragged into the negative space of those predicting gloom and doom. It would also be easy for me to fall into the negative space of judging those I experience as judgmental. When I sat down to write this morning my first words were judgmental of those who I perceive to be judgmental. I was negative rather than focusing on what each of us can do to create an atmosphere which is conducive to positive, creative dialogue.
I loved the fact that so many people I knew joined women from around the world to demonstrate that women in all parts of the world are willing to work for - stand up for - the right of women to be treated as equals members of the community who can determine what is best for their emotional, financial, and mental health. Every woman and man that I know who took part in this event wanted to be sure the message was clear – the message that they were not interested in taking away the rights of anyone to make choices which fit their needs and their core value system. There may have been a few whose message was not so positive and in fact was more anti, but that was not true of the women (and men) I knew.
I am well aware that we need to talk about health care, racism and other forms of overt and covert discrimination, the judicial system, and the role of the all nations including that of the United Nations to bring about a more peace and just world.
I am also acutely aware that I am a very privileged white male. I did nothing to attain that place and I need not feel guilty about being predominantly white and male. I do feel an enormous sense of responsibility for using that position of power in a way which is consistent with eliminating the social construct of race and that of gender.
More than anything I am aware today that I want to practice being open to listening. I “find myself” wanting to tell President Trump, other government and elected officials, “Could you just listen to yourself and your cronies?” That would be easy and accomplish nothing. The more challenging job for me is to listen both to the words and to the underlying emotions which may make it difficult for them to hear me.
On this Sunday morning the challenge for me as a member of the body politic is to model what I say I want to hear from others. I say I want to hear more positive statements. I want to hear a message that reaches deep down into our soul and proclaims, “We are better than our most unkind, discriminatory, elitist, racist, arrogant selves.” I am better than my most unkind, discriminatory, elitist, racist, arrogant self.
As a mental health counselor who often works for/with individuals and families with chronic illnesses, I need to constantly remind myself that it is my job to do my best to create a safe place for individuals to continue their healing journey. It is not my job to question whether they want to get well. It may seem as if they are coming to see me merely to get an employer, family member or someone else off their back. That may be true. Trying a new medication, letting go of an addictive drug, taking the risk of failing, letting go of a love relationship which has become abusive are tough, sad and frightening. It is not my job to assume that “if they really wanted to get better” they would do X, Y or Z.” It is my job to explore an option which might be more effective while not denying that the concerns and fears they have are real.
If I can do this for clients, can I also do it for my neighbor who disagrees with my approach to solving problems, my political views or even my core values? Can I do this with elected and appointed officials?
All too often I “find myself” falling into the trap of being negative or judgmental of those “others” who are judgmental.
While I do not want to morbidly obsess about such issues today, I do want to face my own humanness with love and a sense of humor. From that stance I might have more creative thoughts for the next right thing to do in addressing community issues which concern me and others.
Written January 22, 2017
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