Sunday Musings – July 29, 2018
Sawubona
Psychologist Susan David in her Ted talk entitled “The Gift and Power of Emotion Courage” begins by introducing the South African Zulu word ‘sawubona”. She says, “sawubona literally translated means, “I see you, and by seeing you, I bring you into being.” It is also the word for hello.
I found myself wondering, as I listened to her talk, what changes could occur if as we greet ourselves and each other we actually allow ourselves to see each other. We would then clearly be more than the labels that others assigned us or we assigned ourselves.
One of my spiritual goals is to practice being as honest with myself as I can be and to actually “see” and “face” myself without any judgment but with the commitment to be the best person I can be. This means facing myself as a person with gifts /talents and shortcomings. My tendency is to not only notice my shortcoming but to immediately start giving myself a good scolding or to tell myself that my shortcomings are so dominant that I will never be worth love or respect. I know that this is an old message that I picked up early in life and I know that it was a lie then and it is a lie now. My other tendency is to accept the negatives others say about me even if they do not seem accurate or true. I have been known to spend a lot of time searching my memory for some instance when I might have committed the “sin” of which I have been accused. Obviously, there are times when I can easily remember a “sin” or a behavior which I now regret. If I have not already done so, I explore whether it is possible and prudent to make amends.
At this same time, this week I was again particularly aware of the fact that we only have today. The recent death of my brother-in-law, a 66 year old colleague and of a young man dying of a drug overdose were stark reminders of this fact.
When I focus on my fears, the mistakes I make or the hurts that I have caused I am only seeing a part of myself. When I focus on the fears, the mistakes, or the perceived differences of others I do not see them. When I focus on only the negatives or only on the positives I do not see. From the viewpoint of the Zulus, there is no depth to my seeing.
I recall that long before cataract surgery became so available in this country that I and other counselors who might be working with/for those who had cataracts were asked to spend time walking around with oil or Vaseline rubbed on our glasses so that we could have the experience of seeing the world as those with cataract might be seeing it.
Psychologist Susan David suggest we practice seeing ourselves and others as we are without the oil on our glasses. When her father died and she was a teenager she did not allow herself or others to “see” her grief. She did all she could to hide what she was feeling. By hiding the grief, she hid much or most of who she was. Once she started to allow herself to own and share the grief she was able to be more than her grief. In her mind, this was no different that hiding the apartheid which was so present in her home country. Only by “seeing” it and by beginning to see each other could that system change.
As I begin this week I shall attempt to practice “sawubona”.
Written July 29, 2018
Sawubona
Psychologist Susan David in her Ted talk entitled “The Gift and Power of Emotion Courage” begins by introducing the South African Zulu word ‘sawubona”. She says, “sawubona literally translated means, “I see you, and by seeing you, I bring you into being.” It is also the word for hello.
I found myself wondering, as I listened to her talk, what changes could occur if as we greet ourselves and each other we actually allow ourselves to see each other. We would then clearly be more than the labels that others assigned us or we assigned ourselves.
One of my spiritual goals is to practice being as honest with myself as I can be and to actually “see” and “face” myself without any judgment but with the commitment to be the best person I can be. This means facing myself as a person with gifts /talents and shortcomings. My tendency is to not only notice my shortcoming but to immediately start giving myself a good scolding or to tell myself that my shortcomings are so dominant that I will never be worth love or respect. I know that this is an old message that I picked up early in life and I know that it was a lie then and it is a lie now. My other tendency is to accept the negatives others say about me even if they do not seem accurate or true. I have been known to spend a lot of time searching my memory for some instance when I might have committed the “sin” of which I have been accused. Obviously, there are times when I can easily remember a “sin” or a behavior which I now regret. If I have not already done so, I explore whether it is possible and prudent to make amends.
At this same time, this week I was again particularly aware of the fact that we only have today. The recent death of my brother-in-law, a 66 year old colleague and of a young man dying of a drug overdose were stark reminders of this fact.
When I focus on my fears, the mistakes I make or the hurts that I have caused I am only seeing a part of myself. When I focus on the fears, the mistakes, or the perceived differences of others I do not see them. When I focus on only the negatives or only on the positives I do not see. From the viewpoint of the Zulus, there is no depth to my seeing.
I recall that long before cataract surgery became so available in this country that I and other counselors who might be working with/for those who had cataracts were asked to spend time walking around with oil or Vaseline rubbed on our glasses so that we could have the experience of seeing the world as those with cataract might be seeing it.
Psychologist Susan David suggest we practice seeing ourselves and others as we are without the oil on our glasses. When her father died and she was a teenager she did not allow herself or others to “see” her grief. She did all she could to hide what she was feeling. By hiding the grief, she hid much or most of who she was. Once she started to allow herself to own and share the grief she was able to be more than her grief. In her mind, this was no different that hiding the apartheid which was so present in her home country. Only by “seeing” it and by beginning to see each other could that system change.
As I begin this week I shall attempt to practice “sawubona”.
Written July 29, 2018
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