Sunday Musings - June 23, 2024
Who are we sexually? Who are we as genders? I think we need to begin an honest, open, non-judgmental discussion of what it means to embrace our sexuality and our genders. This blog is intended to suggest a few of the concerns and, hopefully, engender a discussion.
Since recorded history, we humans have struggled with the fact that most of us are physically capable of sexual activity daily for many decades of our life. Clearly there have been times in many locations and cultures when playful sex was normal; times when it seems only the privileged or ruling class were permitted to enjoy sex with more than one partner; and times when sperm was considered limited, childbirth deaths were frequent, and there was a need for many individuals to gather and hunt food.
Some cultures embraced and even ritualized sexual behavior including same sex relationships.
Pornography depicting a wide range of sexual activity continues to be a multibillion-dollar industry. One can google the economics of pornography.
Obviously there have been and continue be some valid concerns related to sexual activity. Although more treatable now, HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases are and should be a concern. For reasons we do not yet understand some individuals have a compulsive attraction to very young children. Unwanted pregnancies are also a valid concern. Most of us would like the options of making a rational and moral decision when to have children. The availability and use of contraceptives and stopping a pregnancy prior to the development of a new human is important for many.
Today in the United States there is a renewed effort to severely limit when children can be taught about sex or explored in school settings, the reality of same sex behavior or coming to terms with one’s being assigned to the wrong gender or one’s non-binary status. We know that the number of births with ambiguous genitals is in the range of .02 to .05 % of births. Other conditions involve the development of atypical chromosomes goads or hormones. (Wikipedia). We know in many cases doctors have made the arbitrary decision to surgically assign a gender in these cases with or without the consent of the parents and certainly without consent of the infant. Children are increasingly revealing that they feel and believe that they were assigned the wrong gender and are claiming the right and the courage to undergo treatment, including surgery; to claim their intended gender.
Religious groups in the United States and many other countries are often very frightened of the honesty of same sex behavior, sexual relationships with other than one’s legal spouse, multiple partners, bisexuality and transgenderism. The Roman Catholic Church forbids sex outside of marriage and does not embrace same sex behavior. Yet, it is an open secret that many of the priests of the Roman Catholic Church have sexual relationships with the same or opposite gender persons. Some priests make distinctions between celibacy and chastity. Some do this by having sex while maintaining a primary commitment to Jesus. There are no good records of the number of priests who refrain from sexual activity with another person. Some studies have suggested that as few as 2% of priests refrain from sexual activity.
There are with increasing frequency the exposure of priests who have sex with underage children.
In the Protestant churches there are frequent outing of ministers having sexual relationships with someone other than their legal spouse. Some Protestant churches are now formally allowing openly GLBT individuals to serve as pastors while others forbid all sexual behavior outside of heterosexual marriages and even forbid the ordination of women ministers. Forbidding does not stop the behavior and the subsequent lying.
In some countries where religious rules dictate civil laws exposure of same sex behavior and sex outside the marital relationship can result in death. Yet, all manner of sexual activity continues despite the risk.
In the United States there is a renewed effort to melt conservative religious beliefs with civil laws and public’s school teachings. Yet, all “know” that most individuals continue to enjoy a variety of sexual practices. Despite official teaching by some religious groups that the only purpose of sexual activity is to attempt procreation, one is hard pressed to find a religious couple who refrain from all sexual activity unrelated to possible conception.
Let me be clear. Using another person to merely satisfy one’s needs and desires is, in my opinion, morally indefensible. This includes using a person sexually, economically or otherwise. I do not believe that some persons are sacred, and others are not. I do not believe that any of us deserve to treat others as less then or to have more than our share of resources when others have very little.
I do believe that we are sexual beings who have a need to connect with other humans in loving, respectful manner. I do not believe that churches, schools or civil authorizes should oversee one’s sexual behavior. I do believe that civil authorities should attempt to ensure that no human being takes unfair advantage of another. At the same time, I do not believe that age in and of itself (a person must be old enough freely consent), gender or even specific sexual practices should be legislated. I do believe that we should honor agreements with our partners, not use power to cohere or force behavior or be irresponsible regarding the transmission of or sharing of sexual diseases. We must also protect the powerless from those who use power to abuse or take advantage of others or to use sexual activity to connect without connection is kind, moral or ethical.
I think discussion of sexual behavior should begin with an honest, open acceptance that we humans are sexual beings. These discussions need to take place in the public school settings starting at an early age. We need not be fearful of such discussions. Children, if we listen, will let us know what they are ready for.
Written June 23, 2024
Jimmy F Pickett, LPC, AADAC
Coachpickett.org
Who are we sexually? Who are we as genders? I think we need to begin an honest, open, non-judgmental discussion of what it means to embrace our sexuality and our genders. This blog is intended to suggest a few of the concerns and, hopefully, engender a discussion.
Since recorded history, we humans have struggled with the fact that most of us are physically capable of sexual activity daily for many decades of our life. Clearly there have been times in many locations and cultures when playful sex was normal; times when it seems only the privileged or ruling class were permitted to enjoy sex with more than one partner; and times when sperm was considered limited, childbirth deaths were frequent, and there was a need for many individuals to gather and hunt food.
Some cultures embraced and even ritualized sexual behavior including same sex relationships.
Pornography depicting a wide range of sexual activity continues to be a multibillion-dollar industry. One can google the economics of pornography.
Obviously there have been and continue be some valid concerns related to sexual activity. Although more treatable now, HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases are and should be a concern. For reasons we do not yet understand some individuals have a compulsive attraction to very young children. Unwanted pregnancies are also a valid concern. Most of us would like the options of making a rational and moral decision when to have children. The availability and use of contraceptives and stopping a pregnancy prior to the development of a new human is important for many.
Today in the United States there is a renewed effort to severely limit when children can be taught about sex or explored in school settings, the reality of same sex behavior or coming to terms with one’s being assigned to the wrong gender or one’s non-binary status. We know that the number of births with ambiguous genitals is in the range of .02 to .05 % of births. Other conditions involve the development of atypical chromosomes goads or hormones. (Wikipedia). We know in many cases doctors have made the arbitrary decision to surgically assign a gender in these cases with or without the consent of the parents and certainly without consent of the infant. Children are increasingly revealing that they feel and believe that they were assigned the wrong gender and are claiming the right and the courage to undergo treatment, including surgery; to claim their intended gender.
Religious groups in the United States and many other countries are often very frightened of the honesty of same sex behavior, sexual relationships with other than one’s legal spouse, multiple partners, bisexuality and transgenderism. The Roman Catholic Church forbids sex outside of marriage and does not embrace same sex behavior. Yet, it is an open secret that many of the priests of the Roman Catholic Church have sexual relationships with the same or opposite gender persons. Some priests make distinctions between celibacy and chastity. Some do this by having sex while maintaining a primary commitment to Jesus. There are no good records of the number of priests who refrain from sexual activity with another person. Some studies have suggested that as few as 2% of priests refrain from sexual activity.
There are with increasing frequency the exposure of priests who have sex with underage children.
In the Protestant churches there are frequent outing of ministers having sexual relationships with someone other than their legal spouse. Some Protestant churches are now formally allowing openly GLBT individuals to serve as pastors while others forbid all sexual behavior outside of heterosexual marriages and even forbid the ordination of women ministers. Forbidding does not stop the behavior and the subsequent lying.
In some countries where religious rules dictate civil laws exposure of same sex behavior and sex outside the marital relationship can result in death. Yet, all manner of sexual activity continues despite the risk.
In the United States there is a renewed effort to melt conservative religious beliefs with civil laws and public’s school teachings. Yet, all “know” that most individuals continue to enjoy a variety of sexual practices. Despite official teaching by some religious groups that the only purpose of sexual activity is to attempt procreation, one is hard pressed to find a religious couple who refrain from all sexual activity unrelated to possible conception.
Let me be clear. Using another person to merely satisfy one’s needs and desires is, in my opinion, morally indefensible. This includes using a person sexually, economically or otherwise. I do not believe that some persons are sacred, and others are not. I do not believe that any of us deserve to treat others as less then or to have more than our share of resources when others have very little.
I do believe that we are sexual beings who have a need to connect with other humans in loving, respectful manner. I do not believe that churches, schools or civil authorizes should oversee one’s sexual behavior. I do believe that civil authorities should attempt to ensure that no human being takes unfair advantage of another. At the same time, I do not believe that age in and of itself (a person must be old enough freely consent), gender or even specific sexual practices should be legislated. I do believe that we should honor agreements with our partners, not use power to cohere or force behavior or be irresponsible regarding the transmission of or sharing of sexual diseases. We must also protect the powerless from those who use power to abuse or take advantage of others or to use sexual activity to connect without connection is kind, moral or ethical.
I think discussion of sexual behavior should begin with an honest, open acceptance that we humans are sexual beings. These discussions need to take place in the public school settings starting at an early age. We need not be fearful of such discussions. Children, if we listen, will let us know what they are ready for.
Written June 23, 2024
Jimmy F Pickett, LPC, AADAC
Coachpickett.org
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