Sunday Musings – March 12, 2017
As usual I listened to this week’s podcast of on Being which was a rebroadcast of a 2014 conversation between Krista Tippett and Dr. Bessel ver der Kolk on “How Trauma Lodges in the Body.” While I want to discuss the general subject of trauma and how we can be helped to heal (not be cured) from trauma, this morning I am particularly focused on one of the statements Dr. van der Kolk repeatedly makes to wit: And some of the most spiritual people I know are exactly traumatized people, because they have seen the dark side. In some ways, I don’t think you can appreciate the glory of life unless you also know the dark side of life.” The past few week I have been ill with a cold - a common, minor illness which leaves one temporarily uncomfortable and without the energy to follow one’s normal schedule. I canceled appointments with clients, set aside many house chores, and cancelled social engagements. I also did not go to the gym and did not write every day.
I am enormously spoiled and blessed, something for which I can take no credit. 99% of the time I am exceptionally healthy physically and usually able to function mentally (some might disagree). I do not have to think about whether I am able to plan a schedule and execute all the items on that schedule. If not careful, I take these blessings for granted. Yet, I work with/for clients who live daily with mental illness which may also be accompanied by chronic physical and emotional suffering. At times the simplest task is beyond their ability to perform by themselves or they cannot summon the emotional energy to perform a task such as feeding or bathing themselves. When I get sick, even with something minor like the cold or the flu, or something less minor such as HIV+ in advanced stage (way back in 1985) ,or diphtheria (as a young child) I am reminded:
· To appreciate both physical and mental suffering.
· That we can learn with the help of each other how to face and integrate past and current suffering into our lives.
Thus, the illness – minor or major – becomes a blessing. I need these reminders to honor the disconnect that suffering brings and to honor our strength to help ourselves and each other reconnect.
Fortunately, in recent years there have been enormous advances in the treatment of many illness/conditions including illness such as PTSD. One of the important lessons is that the relationship between the suffering person with his/her body, the relationship with a traumatic memory and the relationship with the healer/neighbor/fellow traveler are as important as some have been attempting to teach for a long time. Running from our suffering never works long term.
Dr. ver der Kolk posits “And the way I like to say is that we basically come from a post-alcoholic culture. People whose origins are in Northern Europe had only one way of treating distress: that’s namely with a bottle of alcohol.” Although taken at face value that may be an over generalization, but it does gives one pause for thought. We humans and certainly many in the United States and other countries have long convinced themselves that one is better off denying or masking suffering with some drug, possession, or thing.
The bottom line on this Sunday morning is to be grateful that I know that I can face whatever comes my way and I face it better when I allow myself to stay connected with my own body and with others.
While I have been preoccupied with what I needed to learn from this simple cold, the rest of the world has continued to do whatever it must do. I must now return to a larger focus but I will again, if lucky, have a time out to be reminded of the lessons of even minor suffering and how to integrate that suffering in my body and my life.
Written March 12, 2017
As usual I listened to this week’s podcast of on Being which was a rebroadcast of a 2014 conversation between Krista Tippett and Dr. Bessel ver der Kolk on “How Trauma Lodges in the Body.” While I want to discuss the general subject of trauma and how we can be helped to heal (not be cured) from trauma, this morning I am particularly focused on one of the statements Dr. van der Kolk repeatedly makes to wit: And some of the most spiritual people I know are exactly traumatized people, because they have seen the dark side. In some ways, I don’t think you can appreciate the glory of life unless you also know the dark side of life.” The past few week I have been ill with a cold - a common, minor illness which leaves one temporarily uncomfortable and without the energy to follow one’s normal schedule. I canceled appointments with clients, set aside many house chores, and cancelled social engagements. I also did not go to the gym and did not write every day.
I am enormously spoiled and blessed, something for which I can take no credit. 99% of the time I am exceptionally healthy physically and usually able to function mentally (some might disagree). I do not have to think about whether I am able to plan a schedule and execute all the items on that schedule. If not careful, I take these blessings for granted. Yet, I work with/for clients who live daily with mental illness which may also be accompanied by chronic physical and emotional suffering. At times the simplest task is beyond their ability to perform by themselves or they cannot summon the emotional energy to perform a task such as feeding or bathing themselves. When I get sick, even with something minor like the cold or the flu, or something less minor such as HIV+ in advanced stage (way back in 1985) ,or diphtheria (as a young child) I am reminded:
· To appreciate both physical and mental suffering.
· That we can learn with the help of each other how to face and integrate past and current suffering into our lives.
Thus, the illness – minor or major – becomes a blessing. I need these reminders to honor the disconnect that suffering brings and to honor our strength to help ourselves and each other reconnect.
Fortunately, in recent years there have been enormous advances in the treatment of many illness/conditions including illness such as PTSD. One of the important lessons is that the relationship between the suffering person with his/her body, the relationship with a traumatic memory and the relationship with the healer/neighbor/fellow traveler are as important as some have been attempting to teach for a long time. Running from our suffering never works long term.
Dr. ver der Kolk posits “And the way I like to say is that we basically come from a post-alcoholic culture. People whose origins are in Northern Europe had only one way of treating distress: that’s namely with a bottle of alcohol.” Although taken at face value that may be an over generalization, but it does gives one pause for thought. We humans and certainly many in the United States and other countries have long convinced themselves that one is better off denying or masking suffering with some drug, possession, or thing.
The bottom line on this Sunday morning is to be grateful that I know that I can face whatever comes my way and I face it better when I allow myself to stay connected with my own body and with others.
While I have been preoccupied with what I needed to learn from this simple cold, the rest of the world has continued to do whatever it must do. I must now return to a larger focus but I will again, if lucky, have a time out to be reminded of the lessons of even minor suffering and how to integrate that suffering in my body and my life.
Written March 12, 2017
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