Sunday Musings - March 13, 2022
Welcome grief. Welcome joy.
Listening to the news, it would be easy to fall into darkness: War in Ukraine and other countries, bombing of hospitals, the threat of nuclear war, destruction of the environment, wealth concentrated in the one percent, calls for more border walls as many flee physical, economic and emotional violence, addictions, pandemics, attachment to punishment as a change agent, the futility of nuclear family parenting, political insanity, droughts, fires, floods, fierce storms and loses of parents, children and other friends. One could easily become hopeless and decide that life as we have constructed it is too much to bear. One could decide the only option is to hide in numbness, under the covers or in some other self-constructed cage. One could channel Job and rent one’s clothes as one settles into the knowledge that either the god of one’s understanding never existed or was always a narcissistic, sadistic, evil being masquerading as one who practiced tough love.
Many of us humans have learned to believe and live in a dualistic world. People, events, places and existence itself is either good or bad, right or wrong, hopeful or hopeless, and full of magic or fairy dust which temporarily covers dung of this earth.
From this perspective it is the best of times for some and the worst of times for most.
Wise men and women have always known it is darkest just before the sunrise; that the diamonds are created from coal; that when the barn burns down one can see the moon. Yet, most of us continue to allow ourselves to fall into the trap of dividing events, people, and situations into good and bad. If not careful we then tell ourselves we can never be happy because we cannot bear to experience the acute pain of this life journey. Yet, my experience is that it is only when we allow ourselves to fully experience the pain that we find laughter; it is only when we let go of fear that we open to joy.
Bigger Thomas, the chief character in Richard Wright’s book, Native Son, when faced with the threats of the police officer, says, “You can’t do nothin except kill me and that ain’t nothin,”. In other words, “If I die, I win, If I live, I win.’
I am not suggesting that pain is anything other than pain or that joy is anything other than joy. I am suggesting that unless I am willing to take what Soren Kierkegaard calls that leap of faith and allow myself to fully experience the pain/grief I will never fully experience joy. Conversely if I never experience joy, I will never experience the depth of pain. If each do not find a home within me, I will exist but cease to be. Both pain and joy reside in the same internal place. The haystack does indeed contain the needle. The diamond is in the process of becoming. The winter snow feeds the new life of spring.
In the Christian tradition this is the good news of Lent as one looks toward Easter. In coming to terms with all the ways we have hurt ourselves, each other and the planet we will find the joy of being part of a loving community. In accepting the deep angst of the crucifixion, we find the magic of the resurrection. Like Bigger Thomas, Jesus knows, “you can’t do nothin but kill me and that ain’t nothin.”
In the midst of this season of seeming darkness, we can be reminded that we have an opportunity to reclaim the joy of the power of celebrating the best of who we are; of coming to terms with the reality that all that matters is how we embrace this moment; comfort each other while we share joy and pain. Whether we envision angels, the spirit of our ancestors or all the energy of that which once was and is, the only rational choice is to be present to the and with the power of our grief which will paradoxically open the door to joy.
Written March 13, 2022
Jimmy F. Pickett
coachpickett.org
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