Sunday Musings - March 22, 2020
The sun is shining and spring is in the air despite temperatures still being brisk. The forsythia is beginning to bloom and in some places the crocuses and daffodils are proudly announcing they will not hide. The coronavirus is not a threat to them. Once again, I am reminded that Mother Nature will, if I am paying attention, bring me back to a spiritual center. Of course, it is easy for me to say that as I have all that I need – housing, food, heath care through the Veterans Administration and Medicare, a safe car, and the love of many who are sharing this journey with me. It is important to remind myself that when one does not have these basics and may not how he or she is going to feed their family tomorrow it is not easy to stay spiritually centered.
I was reading an article in the local newspapers about the work of the Youth Services System here in Wheeling, Virginia. In the interview with the reporter, the director of Youth Service Systems, John Moses, quotes two of my most treasured teachers – Pema Chodron and Father Greg Boyle. It does not surprise me that John and I share a reverence for the life and work of those two individuals. The regular reader of this blog will be aware that I often quote both of them. He quotes Pema Chodron reminding us that “Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity.” He quotes Father Boyle who works with those who have been members of Los Angeles gangs; those who come to the gangs out of necessity; out of a desperate need to belong; out of search for survival. In the quoted section of Tattoos on the Heart: The Power of Boundless Compassion, Father Boyle talks about those whose shields make it tough to love them. Father Boyle says, “You stand with the belligerent and the badly behaved until bad behavior is recognized for the language it is: the vocabulary of the deeply wounded and of those whose burdens are more than they can bear.” Again and again I return to Pema Chodron and Father Boyle for reminders of what it means to be present with love; of what it means, as Pema Chodron says, to drop the dualities (all labels such as good, bad, right, wrong); of what it means, as Father Boyle says when sitting with a gang or former gang member to return himself or herself to themselves and in so doing, return him (Father Boyle) to himself.
On this Sunday I am reminded of what seems to me two essential truths to which I must daily intentionally return:
It is easy for me to talk about the tragic, outrageous, “sin” of incarcerating those whose primary diagnosis is a mental health condition such as addiction, depression, PTSD or some other. It is easy of me to self-righteously judge that person whose behavior hides the fact that I have not yet found a way to make it safe for them to share the pain which that behavior shields.
It is a much deeper challenge to see that another is mirroring my own pain hidden between the costume of professionalism or the cloak of ethical rules. I am not saying that I should not be aware of the fact that I am called as a professional counselor to focus on the needs of those I call clients. I am also not suggesting that I should forget that the ethical rules of my licensing board are intended to keep me focused on keeping the needs of the client primary. I am suggesting that first and foremost when meeting with a client or anyone I am a flawed, vulnerable, challenged human being who is called to quietly be with the pain and joy of others; to love unconditionally; to take responsibility for not knowing how to make the relationships safe enough to move beyond the behavior which masks the pain.
In short the challenge is to show up with as much vulnerability/realness as I invite others I encounter to do.
Written March 22, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett, LPC, AADC
The sun is shining and spring is in the air despite temperatures still being brisk. The forsythia is beginning to bloom and in some places the crocuses and daffodils are proudly announcing they will not hide. The coronavirus is not a threat to them. Once again, I am reminded that Mother Nature will, if I am paying attention, bring me back to a spiritual center. Of course, it is easy for me to say that as I have all that I need – housing, food, heath care through the Veterans Administration and Medicare, a safe car, and the love of many who are sharing this journey with me. It is important to remind myself that when one does not have these basics and may not how he or she is going to feed their family tomorrow it is not easy to stay spiritually centered.
I was reading an article in the local newspapers about the work of the Youth Services System here in Wheeling, Virginia. In the interview with the reporter, the director of Youth Service Systems, John Moses, quotes two of my most treasured teachers – Pema Chodron and Father Greg Boyle. It does not surprise me that John and I share a reverence for the life and work of those two individuals. The regular reader of this blog will be aware that I often quote both of them. He quotes Pema Chodron reminding us that “Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity.” He quotes Father Boyle who works with those who have been members of Los Angeles gangs; those who come to the gangs out of necessity; out of a desperate need to belong; out of search for survival. In the quoted section of Tattoos on the Heart: The Power of Boundless Compassion, Father Boyle talks about those whose shields make it tough to love them. Father Boyle says, “You stand with the belligerent and the badly behaved until bad behavior is recognized for the language it is: the vocabulary of the deeply wounded and of those whose burdens are more than they can bear.” Again and again I return to Pema Chodron and Father Boyle for reminders of what it means to be present with love; of what it means, as Pema Chodron says, to drop the dualities (all labels such as good, bad, right, wrong); of what it means, as Father Boyle says when sitting with a gang or former gang member to return himself or herself to themselves and in so doing, return him (Father Boyle) to himself.
On this Sunday I am reminded of what seems to me two essential truths to which I must daily intentionally return:
- I always get exactly what I need to grow spiritually if I am paying attention and have the courage to be present to that lesson.
- One must be careful to not confuse the symptoms of behavior with the person or with the underlying “dis ease”.
It is easy for me to talk about the tragic, outrageous, “sin” of incarcerating those whose primary diagnosis is a mental health condition such as addiction, depression, PTSD or some other. It is easy of me to self-righteously judge that person whose behavior hides the fact that I have not yet found a way to make it safe for them to share the pain which that behavior shields.
It is a much deeper challenge to see that another is mirroring my own pain hidden between the costume of professionalism or the cloak of ethical rules. I am not saying that I should not be aware of the fact that I am called as a professional counselor to focus on the needs of those I call clients. I am also not suggesting that I should forget that the ethical rules of my licensing board are intended to keep me focused on keeping the needs of the client primary. I am suggesting that first and foremost when meeting with a client or anyone I am a flawed, vulnerable, challenged human being who is called to quietly be with the pain and joy of others; to love unconditionally; to take responsibility for not knowing how to make the relationships safe enough to move beyond the behavior which masks the pain.
In short the challenge is to show up with as much vulnerability/realness as I invite others I encounter to do.
Written March 22, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett, LPC, AADC
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