SUNDAY MUSINGS - MAY 21, 2023
A FRIEND RECENTLY REMARKED THAT I SEEM TO BE ATTENDING A LOT OF FUNERALS. IT IS TRUE. JUST IN THE PAST YEAR IN MY CLOSEST CIRCLE OF FRIENDSHIPS DAVID, DENIS, GREG, SISSY, KATHRINE, VILJA, BEVERLY, BOB, JOHN AS WELL AS OTHERS HAVE COMPLETED THEIR LIFE JOURNEY. SEVERAL OTHERS IN THE NEXT CLOSEST CIRCLE HAVE ALSO COMPLETED THEIR JOURNEY. STILL OTHERS I KNOW STAY CLOSE TO THE EDGE AS THEY LIVE WITH CANCER, ADDICTION, DEMENTIA AND OTHER ILLNESSES. AT 83, MY CONTEMPORARIES ARE CLOSER TO 100 THAN THEY ARE TO 20.
THOSE OF US WHO LIVED THROUGH THE TIME WHEN AIDS WAS A FREQUENT VISITOR SOMETIMES ATTENDED SEVERAL FUNERALS OR MEMORIAL SERVICES A WEEK. IN MORE RECENT YEARS THOSE OF US WHO LOVE THOSE WITH ADDICTIVE DISORDERS HAVE HAD MANY OPPORTUNITIES TO FACE LIFE ON LIFE’S TERMS.
INTELLECTUALLY I HAVE LONG KNOWN THAT THIS JOURNEY IS TIME LIMITED; THAT WE ARE PROMISED ONLY THIS MOMENT. THEOLOGICALLY, IN THE RELIGIOUS TRADITIONS IN WHICH I WAS RAISED, THIS TEMPORAL LIFE IS A PRELUDE TO WHAT IS REFERRED TO AS “ETERNAL LIFE”. FROM THOSE PERSPECTIVES I SHOULD NEITHER BE SURPRISED NOR SADDENED WHEN SOMEONE COMPLETES THIS BRIEF LIFE JOURNEY. LIFE COMES AND LIFE ENDS. IT IS THE NATURAL ORDER OR PROCESS.
WHAT ARE THE IMPORTANT QUESTIONS WE MIGHT ASK OURSELVES AS WE FACE THIS REALITY HEAD ON? THEY MIGHT INCLUDE:
OBVIOUSLY, WE HAVE NO CONTROL OVER THE PAST. WE CAN, OF COURSE, LEARN FROM IT. EACH DAY IS A NEW OPPORTUNITY TO CLEARLY AND SIMPLY STATE OUR SPIRITUAL INTENTION FOR THE DAY AND TO CHECK IN WITH THAT SPIRITUAL INTENTION THROUGHOUT THE DAY; NOT TO JUDGE OURSELVES BUT TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT WE HUMANS CAN EASILY AND QUICKLY GET OFF TRACK.
VERY FEW OF US HAVE CHOSEN THE LUXURY OF DAYLONG PRAYER AND MEDITATION. WE ARE BUSY MAKING A LIVING WHICH ALLOWS US TO PROVIDE THE BASICS SUCH AS FOOD AND CLOTHING FOR OURSELVES AND OUR FAMILIES, CARING FOR OUR CHILDREN, MAINTAINING OUR HOME, OR PERFORMING ANY OF A THOUSAND OTHER CHORES OF DAILY LIFE. OUR BOSS MIGHT DEMAND WE WORK OVERTIME. THERE MAY BE A THOUSAND AND ONE DEMANDS OR REQUESTS FOR OUR TIME AND ENERGY.
WE MAY MAKE TIME WHEN CALLED TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM OF THE HOSPITAL OR WHEN A LOVED ONE IS SCHEDULED FOR A POTENTIALLY LIFE-THREATENING MEDICAL PROCEDURE. WE MAY OFTEN MAKE TIME FOR A BIRTHDAY PARTY, GRADUATION, ANNIVERSARY OR OTHER CELEBRATION IF THE TIME AND PLACE IS NOT IN CONFLICT WITH OTHER DEMANDS OR REQUESTS.
WHEN WE ARE YOUNG IT SEEMS AS IF WE HAVE ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD TO NURTURE OURSELVES AND EACH OTHER. 70 X 365 IS 25, 550 DAYS TO DO “WHAT IS IMPORTANT” IN ONE’S FREE TIME. YET, SOME GRINCH COMES ALONG AND CONDENSES THOSE 25, 550 DAYS INTO AN HOUR OR FIVE MINUTES. SO IT SEEMS.
IT IS NO EASY TASK FOR WE HUMANS TO ACCEPT DEATH AS “NATURAL” IN THIS JOURNEY. AT SOME LEVEL IT DOES NOT MAKE SENSE THAT A VIBRANT LIFE SHOULD JUST STOP; THAT A LIVING, BREATHING, WARM PRESENCE SHOULD SUDDENLY BE DEVOID OF THE ABILITY TO SHARE A HUG, TICKLE THE MIND AND HEART, OR SHARE EVERYDAY JOYS AND SORROWS. WE MAY BE TEMPTED TO SAY TO THAT COLD CORPSE OR, INCREASINGLY IT SEEMS, THAT CONTAINER OF LIFELESS ASHES: “ENOUGH. I AM NOT FINISHED WITH US.”
WHEN A LOVED ONE DIES AS THE RESULT OF A MOMENTARY DECISION TO HAVE ONE MORE DRINK BEFORE ONE GET BEHIND THE WHEEL OF A VEHICLE, HAS AN EMOTIONAL REACTION AND KILLS SOMEONE, EVEN SEEMINGLY WORSE, PLOTS THE MURDER OF SOMEONE OR DIES IN THE INSANITY OF WAR WE MAY CRY “FOUL” AND CALL OUT THE UMPIRE WHOM WE MAY ENVISION AS THE GOD OF OUR UNDERSTANDING.
NO MATTER WHAT THE CAUSE OF DEATH WE CAN CRY OUT: “ONE MORE HUG. ONE MORE APOLOGY. ONE MORE…”
OUR CHOICES ARE TO ALLOW SOME TIME FOR GRATITUDE, WEEPING AND WAILING AND THEN MOVE ON UNTIL WE ARE AGAIN FORCED TO CONFRONT THAT WE ONLY HAVE TODAY, WAIT FOR OUR DEFINITION OF JUSTICE OR, DEPENDING ON OUR RELIGIOUS BELIEFS, FOR A REUNION IN “ETERNITY”. WE MIGHT “KNOW” THAT “LIFE COMES AND LIFE GOES” BUT, EMOTIONALLY WE MAY BE SHOCKED AT THE REALITY OF DEATH.
WE MAY CALL UPON THE SPIRIT OF THE POET, DYLAN THOMAS, SHOUTING, “DO NOT GO GENTLE INTO THAT GOOD NIGHT.”
WRITTEN MAY 21, 2023
JIMMY F PICKETT
COACHPICKETT.ORG
A FRIEND RECENTLY REMARKED THAT I SEEM TO BE ATTENDING A LOT OF FUNERALS. IT IS TRUE. JUST IN THE PAST YEAR IN MY CLOSEST CIRCLE OF FRIENDSHIPS DAVID, DENIS, GREG, SISSY, KATHRINE, VILJA, BEVERLY, BOB, JOHN AS WELL AS OTHERS HAVE COMPLETED THEIR LIFE JOURNEY. SEVERAL OTHERS IN THE NEXT CLOSEST CIRCLE HAVE ALSO COMPLETED THEIR JOURNEY. STILL OTHERS I KNOW STAY CLOSE TO THE EDGE AS THEY LIVE WITH CANCER, ADDICTION, DEMENTIA AND OTHER ILLNESSES. AT 83, MY CONTEMPORARIES ARE CLOSER TO 100 THAN THEY ARE TO 20.
THOSE OF US WHO LIVED THROUGH THE TIME WHEN AIDS WAS A FREQUENT VISITOR SOMETIMES ATTENDED SEVERAL FUNERALS OR MEMORIAL SERVICES A WEEK. IN MORE RECENT YEARS THOSE OF US WHO LOVE THOSE WITH ADDICTIVE DISORDERS HAVE HAD MANY OPPORTUNITIES TO FACE LIFE ON LIFE’S TERMS.
INTELLECTUALLY I HAVE LONG KNOWN THAT THIS JOURNEY IS TIME LIMITED; THAT WE ARE PROMISED ONLY THIS MOMENT. THEOLOGICALLY, IN THE RELIGIOUS TRADITIONS IN WHICH I WAS RAISED, THIS TEMPORAL LIFE IS A PRELUDE TO WHAT IS REFERRED TO AS “ETERNAL LIFE”. FROM THOSE PERSPECTIVES I SHOULD NEITHER BE SURPRISED NOR SADDENED WHEN SOMEONE COMPLETES THIS BRIEF LIFE JOURNEY. LIFE COMES AND LIFE ENDS. IT IS THE NATURAL ORDER OR PROCESS.
WHAT ARE THE IMPORTANT QUESTIONS WE MIGHT ASK OURSELVES AS WE FACE THIS REALITY HEAD ON? THEY MIGHT INCLUDE:
- HAVE WE LOVED AS UNCONDITIONALLY AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE?
- HAS OUR HUMAN TENDENCY TO COMPARE AND JUDGE KEPT US MORE DISTANT THAN WE NEEDED TO BE?
- HAS OUR EGO HELD ON TO RESENTMENTS AND OTHER SHIELDS THAT WERE NOT NEEDED?
- HAS OUR ATTACHMENT TO PROFESSIONAL SUCCESS, MONEY, OR OTHER THINGS PREVENTED US FROM BEING AS PRESENT TO OUR FRIENDSHIPS AS WE MEANT TO BE?
- HAS OUR FAILURE TO MAKE OUR OWN HEALTH CARE A PRIORITY PREVENTED US FROM BEING AS PRESENT AS WE WANTED OR INTENDED TO BE?
- HAVE WE FALLEN PREY TO THE DELUSION THAT THERE IS ALWAYS TOMORROW?
OBVIOUSLY, WE HAVE NO CONTROL OVER THE PAST. WE CAN, OF COURSE, LEARN FROM IT. EACH DAY IS A NEW OPPORTUNITY TO CLEARLY AND SIMPLY STATE OUR SPIRITUAL INTENTION FOR THE DAY AND TO CHECK IN WITH THAT SPIRITUAL INTENTION THROUGHOUT THE DAY; NOT TO JUDGE OURSELVES BUT TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT WE HUMANS CAN EASILY AND QUICKLY GET OFF TRACK.
VERY FEW OF US HAVE CHOSEN THE LUXURY OF DAYLONG PRAYER AND MEDITATION. WE ARE BUSY MAKING A LIVING WHICH ALLOWS US TO PROVIDE THE BASICS SUCH AS FOOD AND CLOTHING FOR OURSELVES AND OUR FAMILIES, CARING FOR OUR CHILDREN, MAINTAINING OUR HOME, OR PERFORMING ANY OF A THOUSAND OTHER CHORES OF DAILY LIFE. OUR BOSS MIGHT DEMAND WE WORK OVERTIME. THERE MAY BE A THOUSAND AND ONE DEMANDS OR REQUESTS FOR OUR TIME AND ENERGY.
WE MAY MAKE TIME WHEN CALLED TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM OF THE HOSPITAL OR WHEN A LOVED ONE IS SCHEDULED FOR A POTENTIALLY LIFE-THREATENING MEDICAL PROCEDURE. WE MAY OFTEN MAKE TIME FOR A BIRTHDAY PARTY, GRADUATION, ANNIVERSARY OR OTHER CELEBRATION IF THE TIME AND PLACE IS NOT IN CONFLICT WITH OTHER DEMANDS OR REQUESTS.
WHEN WE ARE YOUNG IT SEEMS AS IF WE HAVE ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD TO NURTURE OURSELVES AND EACH OTHER. 70 X 365 IS 25, 550 DAYS TO DO “WHAT IS IMPORTANT” IN ONE’S FREE TIME. YET, SOME GRINCH COMES ALONG AND CONDENSES THOSE 25, 550 DAYS INTO AN HOUR OR FIVE MINUTES. SO IT SEEMS.
IT IS NO EASY TASK FOR WE HUMANS TO ACCEPT DEATH AS “NATURAL” IN THIS JOURNEY. AT SOME LEVEL IT DOES NOT MAKE SENSE THAT A VIBRANT LIFE SHOULD JUST STOP; THAT A LIVING, BREATHING, WARM PRESENCE SHOULD SUDDENLY BE DEVOID OF THE ABILITY TO SHARE A HUG, TICKLE THE MIND AND HEART, OR SHARE EVERYDAY JOYS AND SORROWS. WE MAY BE TEMPTED TO SAY TO THAT COLD CORPSE OR, INCREASINGLY IT SEEMS, THAT CONTAINER OF LIFELESS ASHES: “ENOUGH. I AM NOT FINISHED WITH US.”
WHEN A LOVED ONE DIES AS THE RESULT OF A MOMENTARY DECISION TO HAVE ONE MORE DRINK BEFORE ONE GET BEHIND THE WHEEL OF A VEHICLE, HAS AN EMOTIONAL REACTION AND KILLS SOMEONE, EVEN SEEMINGLY WORSE, PLOTS THE MURDER OF SOMEONE OR DIES IN THE INSANITY OF WAR WE MAY CRY “FOUL” AND CALL OUT THE UMPIRE WHOM WE MAY ENVISION AS THE GOD OF OUR UNDERSTANDING.
NO MATTER WHAT THE CAUSE OF DEATH WE CAN CRY OUT: “ONE MORE HUG. ONE MORE APOLOGY. ONE MORE…”
OUR CHOICES ARE TO ALLOW SOME TIME FOR GRATITUDE, WEEPING AND WAILING AND THEN MOVE ON UNTIL WE ARE AGAIN FORCED TO CONFRONT THAT WE ONLY HAVE TODAY, WAIT FOR OUR DEFINITION OF JUSTICE OR, DEPENDING ON OUR RELIGIOUS BELIEFS, FOR A REUNION IN “ETERNITY”. WE MIGHT “KNOW” THAT “LIFE COMES AND LIFE GOES” BUT, EMOTIONALLY WE MAY BE SHOCKED AT THE REALITY OF DEATH.
WE MAY CALL UPON THE SPIRIT OF THE POET, DYLAN THOMAS, SHOUTING, “DO NOT GO GENTLE INTO THAT GOOD NIGHT.”
WRITTEN MAY 21, 2023
JIMMY F PICKETT
COACHPICKETT.ORG
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