Sunday Musings – November 7, 2020
This is my first Sunday in my new home at 410 West 7th Street, Condo 1624, Tulsa, Oklahoma 74119. Obviously my move to my new home is minor news compared to the apparent outcome of the local, state and national elections in the United States, the damage wrought in places by mother nature, ongoing wars, and the cycle of life. I personally know of several deaths including that of my friend Bill and the mother of the step daughter of another. I also know of a number of people living with serious illness. Of course all of us are living which a chronic, serious condition called life which will be terminal today, tomorrow, or sometime in the relatively near future.
The fact that I am relatively healthy, blessed to be able to purchase a 1 bedroom luxury condo, to now be close to members of my biological family, to have enough of all the essentials and to have work which I enjoy are blessings which I have not earned. Although I am as deserving as every other person I am not more deserving than anyone else. I did not decide to be born with white male privilege, or with circumstances which has allowed me to have and enjoy these luxuries. I do not believe that any of us choose the circumstances which affect the opportunities which are afforded to some of us. We may, if we are lucky, be in a place which allows us to “notice” the opportunities and to take advantage of them. There are so many factors which affect our ability to “see” and to take that step forward.
These thoughts dominate my mind this morning as I consider the fact that on the left and the right in this and many other countries many individuals are very angry. My beliefs is that the anger is an attempt to deal with or perhaps avoid the pain and the fear. If one responds to the anger one is likely to increase the pain and the fear which is likely to lead to more anger. Increased anger is likely to lead to more destruction which is likely to lead to more angry reactions to the anger which is likely to ….
It seems that often I am in the minority in thinking that we must respond to the pain underlying the anger in a meaningful way. Responding in a patronizing, pat on the head manner is not going to comfort anyone. Obviously, we cannot do anything suggesting that it is okay to hurt others. Yet, we can validate the pain and address the issues which are causing the pain. It may take some extended dialogue to reach a point in agreeing on the cause of the pain. I am not convinced that the pain is caused by race, religion, gender, sexual orientation or other social constructed differences. I am also not convinced that the pain is caused by abortion or proposed restriction of gun ownerships. Certainly many have very strong and firmly held beliefs about some of these issues.
Identifying the root causes of the pain may take an enormous investment of time, energy and a willingness to actively listen. We can only truly listen to those we respect. We can only respect those we believe are our equals. Both sides have, it seems to me, outdone themselves in looking down on those with whom they disagree. I believe if we truly want to heal an individual, a family, a city, region, state or nation we have to approach everyone with love wrapped in respect and with respect wrapped in love.
Written November 8, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
This is my first Sunday in my new home at 410 West 7th Street, Condo 1624, Tulsa, Oklahoma 74119. Obviously my move to my new home is minor news compared to the apparent outcome of the local, state and national elections in the United States, the damage wrought in places by mother nature, ongoing wars, and the cycle of life. I personally know of several deaths including that of my friend Bill and the mother of the step daughter of another. I also know of a number of people living with serious illness. Of course all of us are living which a chronic, serious condition called life which will be terminal today, tomorrow, or sometime in the relatively near future.
The fact that I am relatively healthy, blessed to be able to purchase a 1 bedroom luxury condo, to now be close to members of my biological family, to have enough of all the essentials and to have work which I enjoy are blessings which I have not earned. Although I am as deserving as every other person I am not more deserving than anyone else. I did not decide to be born with white male privilege, or with circumstances which has allowed me to have and enjoy these luxuries. I do not believe that any of us choose the circumstances which affect the opportunities which are afforded to some of us. We may, if we are lucky, be in a place which allows us to “notice” the opportunities and to take advantage of them. There are so many factors which affect our ability to “see” and to take that step forward.
These thoughts dominate my mind this morning as I consider the fact that on the left and the right in this and many other countries many individuals are very angry. My beliefs is that the anger is an attempt to deal with or perhaps avoid the pain and the fear. If one responds to the anger one is likely to increase the pain and the fear which is likely to lead to more anger. Increased anger is likely to lead to more destruction which is likely to lead to more angry reactions to the anger which is likely to ….
It seems that often I am in the minority in thinking that we must respond to the pain underlying the anger in a meaningful way. Responding in a patronizing, pat on the head manner is not going to comfort anyone. Obviously, we cannot do anything suggesting that it is okay to hurt others. Yet, we can validate the pain and address the issues which are causing the pain. It may take some extended dialogue to reach a point in agreeing on the cause of the pain. I am not convinced that the pain is caused by race, religion, gender, sexual orientation or other social constructed differences. I am also not convinced that the pain is caused by abortion or proposed restriction of gun ownerships. Certainly many have very strong and firmly held beliefs about some of these issues.
Identifying the root causes of the pain may take an enormous investment of time, energy and a willingness to actively listen. We can only truly listen to those we respect. We can only respect those we believe are our equals. Both sides have, it seems to me, outdone themselves in looking down on those with whom they disagree. I believe if we truly want to heal an individual, a family, a city, region, state or nation we have to approach everyone with love wrapped in respect and with respect wrapped in love.
Written November 8, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
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