Sunday Musings – September 15, 2019
I have been thinking a lot about the fact we are the ancestors of tomorrow, We are building the legacy which our children and our grandchildren will inherit. Often it seems as if we are leaving a legacy of shaming and blaming rather than one of how-to problem solve. For example, just this morning I read an editorial reprimanding parents for not getting children in West Virginia to school on time. Of course, not all children get to school late. Some homes have parents whose jobs or combined family income allow them to be at home in the morning to help children get ready for school, feed them a healthy breakfast, make sure they have their homework which they the parents helped them get done by helping them with time management. Children need a lot of guidance from parents and parent helpers. If we as neighbors, aunts, uncles, grandparents and others are not there to help many children are left on their own to accomplish tasks that there brain and overall development are not yet able to consistently accomplish. It may seem as if some children such as the Sonia Sotomayor may have been able to be enormously responsible - little adults – by the age of 8 but I suspect that there were some adults in her life who did share some of the parenting responsibilities while her mother worked and dad struggled with the chronic illness of addiction.
It is, of course, easy to criticize based on symptoms. It is easy to echo an old saying which I recall some of my ancestors repeating ad nosism, “You made your bed. Now lie in it.” When we say this we are acting as if we live in a community where some of us always make perfect decisions and all the blessings in our life were earned because of our hard work and very fine brains which we and we alone created with our own hands. If we had the good fortune to learn time managements skills, have the brain and other resources to get a Harvard education and obtain a job which earns $200,000.00 a year which then allows us to have a stay at home parent with our children or to hire other help, have time and energy to help children with their homework, feed them a Whole Foods nutritious diet, take them to an expensive gym with us every day if they are not getting exercise in some sports program at school, and provide other luxuries we are exceptionally blessed but not deserving of hubris. We have not walked in the shoes of those struggling with chronic illness, the inability to earn a living wage (much higher than the minimum wage), having to live in housing with others who are struggling and whose “dis eases” are lived on top of each other rather than separated by neatly manicured lawns.
Those of us with the luxury of time and energy to stand back and observe; to do more than survive from moment to moment, may think about the legacy we want to leave. We may want to think whether the legacy we are leaving is one of humility and problem solving or arrogant judging. It is easy to look at symptoms and assign blame. It takes more compassion, energy, patience and creativity to identify underlying issues and to gather as a community to problem solve.
It has been said over and over by many individuals that it takes a village to raise children. Many of us do not live in villages. We often live in a very isolated boxes which may be stacked on top of each other.
Today, as a future ancestor I need to ask myself what more I can do to be a part of the solution. How can I live in a way which honors that I am part of a village? How can I use the blessings I have been given to help those neighbors who are struggling? Perhaps if am paying attention there are daily opportunities which hubris will frequently miss,.
Written September 15, 2019
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
I have been thinking a lot about the fact we are the ancestors of tomorrow, We are building the legacy which our children and our grandchildren will inherit. Often it seems as if we are leaving a legacy of shaming and blaming rather than one of how-to problem solve. For example, just this morning I read an editorial reprimanding parents for not getting children in West Virginia to school on time. Of course, not all children get to school late. Some homes have parents whose jobs or combined family income allow them to be at home in the morning to help children get ready for school, feed them a healthy breakfast, make sure they have their homework which they the parents helped them get done by helping them with time management. Children need a lot of guidance from parents and parent helpers. If we as neighbors, aunts, uncles, grandparents and others are not there to help many children are left on their own to accomplish tasks that there brain and overall development are not yet able to consistently accomplish. It may seem as if some children such as the Sonia Sotomayor may have been able to be enormously responsible - little adults – by the age of 8 but I suspect that there were some adults in her life who did share some of the parenting responsibilities while her mother worked and dad struggled with the chronic illness of addiction.
It is, of course, easy to criticize based on symptoms. It is easy to echo an old saying which I recall some of my ancestors repeating ad nosism, “You made your bed. Now lie in it.” When we say this we are acting as if we live in a community where some of us always make perfect decisions and all the blessings in our life were earned because of our hard work and very fine brains which we and we alone created with our own hands. If we had the good fortune to learn time managements skills, have the brain and other resources to get a Harvard education and obtain a job which earns $200,000.00 a year which then allows us to have a stay at home parent with our children or to hire other help, have time and energy to help children with their homework, feed them a Whole Foods nutritious diet, take them to an expensive gym with us every day if they are not getting exercise in some sports program at school, and provide other luxuries we are exceptionally blessed but not deserving of hubris. We have not walked in the shoes of those struggling with chronic illness, the inability to earn a living wage (much higher than the minimum wage), having to live in housing with others who are struggling and whose “dis eases” are lived on top of each other rather than separated by neatly manicured lawns.
Those of us with the luxury of time and energy to stand back and observe; to do more than survive from moment to moment, may think about the legacy we want to leave. We may want to think whether the legacy we are leaving is one of humility and problem solving or arrogant judging. It is easy to look at symptoms and assign blame. It takes more compassion, energy, patience and creativity to identify underlying issues and to gather as a community to problem solve.
It has been said over and over by many individuals that it takes a village to raise children. Many of us do not live in villages. We often live in a very isolated boxes which may be stacked on top of each other.
Today, as a future ancestor I need to ask myself what more I can do to be a part of the solution. How can I live in a way which honors that I am part of a village? How can I use the blessings I have been given to help those neighbors who are struggling? Perhaps if am paying attention there are daily opportunities which hubris will frequently miss,.
Written September 15, 2019
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
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