Sunday Musings — September 22, 2024
Love is inconvenient
Many of the major religions including Judaism, Christianity, Buddhism, Baha’i, Hinduism, Islam, Jainism, Sikhism, and Unitarian Universalists, among others, profess to teach that one should love one’s neighbor. Yet, many, including some high-level politicians, religions clerics, teachers and others seem to make huge exceptions or rather redefine who is one’s neighbor, thus allowing them to demonize, kill and otherwise mistreat those who appear to be their neighbor.
In the United States a recent example of ‘non-neighbor neighbor” has to do with those labeled as immigrants. For the most part those labeled as immigrants to the United States prove to be those fleeing physical, emotional, religious and financial violence. Every study confirms that fewer immigrants commit offenses against their new neighbors than those who are citizens of the United States. Yet many continue to demonize these “neighbors and threaten to forcibly send them back to violence and, in many cases, certain death.
The citizens of Springfield, Ohio have welcomed many from Haiti whose country continues to experience enormous poverty, political upheaval and violence. Most of those from Haiti in Springfield are proven to be there legally and are hardworking, good neighbors. The mayor and other officials of Springfield have repeatedly confirmed that the Haitian neighbors are welcome. They have also repeatedly admitted that welcoming so many new neighbors at one time has strained their housing, educational, human services and other resources. In short it has been very inconvenient to have so many new neighbors at once. Yet most of Springfield welcomes them.
Most of us have experience with the reality that loving each other - loving one’s neighbors whether they are biological family, in laws, the spouses/partners of our children, our grandchildren or our physical neighbors - is often inconvenient. They may need our emotional or other support when we are, ourselves, exhausted; when our budget is stained or even when we are not feeling very warm and fuzzy towards other humans in general. We may receive a call in the middle of the night informing us our neighbor’s house is on fire, flooded or otherwise not livable. They may need to stay at our home for an indefinite time. If we are parents, it is not convenient when our children are sick in the middle of the night, and we go without adequate sleep for several nights. My friend’s sister-in-law died leaving a 12-year-old who needed to be cared for in his own home. She reigned her job and lived separately from her husband until her nephew was ready to be on his own. Many of we parents have children who are living with active addiction or other mental illness. Loving them results in emotional and financial stress which may be very inconvenient.
There are many examples of love being inconvenient. It is interesting to me that in none of the religious teachings which command one to love one’s neighbors do I find exceptions. Sadly, religious teachers and their followers often are creative in replacing the term neighbor with such terms as “evil”, criminal, immigrant, a different political party, or some other non-neighbor label thus exempting they and their followers from this teaching to love one’s neighbors.
If we only love when it is convenient is it love or self-interest?
Those of us who are parents, educators, religious teachers or otherwise in the role of mentors may decide to take a moment to see if we are willing to love our neighbor (spouse, partner, children, person from another culture, or country) even when it is inconvenient or whether we want to continue the ruse of assigning new labels to our neighbors pretending as if that transforms them in the eyes of the God of our understanding to a non-neighbor.
Written September 22, 2024
Jimmy F Pickett
Coachpickett.org
Love is inconvenient
Many of the major religions including Judaism, Christianity, Buddhism, Baha’i, Hinduism, Islam, Jainism, Sikhism, and Unitarian Universalists, among others, profess to teach that one should love one’s neighbor. Yet, many, including some high-level politicians, religions clerics, teachers and others seem to make huge exceptions or rather redefine who is one’s neighbor, thus allowing them to demonize, kill and otherwise mistreat those who appear to be their neighbor.
In the United States a recent example of ‘non-neighbor neighbor” has to do with those labeled as immigrants. For the most part those labeled as immigrants to the United States prove to be those fleeing physical, emotional, religious and financial violence. Every study confirms that fewer immigrants commit offenses against their new neighbors than those who are citizens of the United States. Yet many continue to demonize these “neighbors and threaten to forcibly send them back to violence and, in many cases, certain death.
The citizens of Springfield, Ohio have welcomed many from Haiti whose country continues to experience enormous poverty, political upheaval and violence. Most of those from Haiti in Springfield are proven to be there legally and are hardworking, good neighbors. The mayor and other officials of Springfield have repeatedly confirmed that the Haitian neighbors are welcome. They have also repeatedly admitted that welcoming so many new neighbors at one time has strained their housing, educational, human services and other resources. In short it has been very inconvenient to have so many new neighbors at once. Yet most of Springfield welcomes them.
Most of us have experience with the reality that loving each other - loving one’s neighbors whether they are biological family, in laws, the spouses/partners of our children, our grandchildren or our physical neighbors - is often inconvenient. They may need our emotional or other support when we are, ourselves, exhausted; when our budget is stained or even when we are not feeling very warm and fuzzy towards other humans in general. We may receive a call in the middle of the night informing us our neighbor’s house is on fire, flooded or otherwise not livable. They may need to stay at our home for an indefinite time. If we are parents, it is not convenient when our children are sick in the middle of the night, and we go without adequate sleep for several nights. My friend’s sister-in-law died leaving a 12-year-old who needed to be cared for in his own home. She reigned her job and lived separately from her husband until her nephew was ready to be on his own. Many of we parents have children who are living with active addiction or other mental illness. Loving them results in emotional and financial stress which may be very inconvenient.
There are many examples of love being inconvenient. It is interesting to me that in none of the religious teachings which command one to love one’s neighbors do I find exceptions. Sadly, religious teachers and their followers often are creative in replacing the term neighbor with such terms as “evil”, criminal, immigrant, a different political party, or some other non-neighbor label thus exempting they and their followers from this teaching to love one’s neighbors.
If we only love when it is convenient is it love or self-interest?
Those of us who are parents, educators, religious teachers or otherwise in the role of mentors may decide to take a moment to see if we are willing to love our neighbor (spouse, partner, children, person from another culture, or country) even when it is inconvenient or whether we want to continue the ruse of assigning new labels to our neighbors pretending as if that transforms them in the eyes of the God of our understanding to a non-neighbor.
Written September 22, 2024
Jimmy F Pickett
Coachpickett.org
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