Sunday Musings – September 3, 2017
Fierce storms, terrible flooding in parts of the United States and many other countries, individuals and countries bullying each other, different views of history, pardons without atonement, differing views of shared history, family and community gatherings, are all topics which vie for attention in my brain. Another part of the brain is also focused this Sunday on the fact that all choices I have and continue to make have consequences. At times throughout my life I have been tempted to cry foul about my life circumstances. Certainly, living with discrimination, unequal opportunities, and unfair treatment have been a part of my life journey – more so than for some less so than for others.
At times, I also find myself bemoaning some facet or aspect of my life. Yet, when I get honest with myself I am forced to accept that the significant portion of my current life circumstances are a direct result of decisions I have made in the past. Certainly, luck, fate, or other circumstances may play a role in the design and choreography of my current life dance, but I have also made very clear and intentional decisions leading to this moment in time. If I resist the temptation to think in terms of duality – right/wrong, good/bad, correct/incorrect, brilliant/stupid – I am able to just notice and accept that fact. A good example is the fact that I am spending this holiday outside the confines of the picture depicted in many advertisements and the picture that is often labeled as normal. In the United States, it is Labor Day weekend - a day set aside to honor the worker bees. As with many other holiday weekends the picture which is sold to one is that of families gathering, grilling food, playing touch football or other games, boating and in general putting aside all other concerns. I have chosen to live far from my family of origin and my son has chosen to live far away from me. I have also chosen not to move closer to my son or my family of origin. I do not have a partner because I have chosen to end two marriages and two other relationships with significant others. I have also chosen to not host a gathering in my house just as I have chosen not to let others knows that I would like to spend time with them. I could easily have contacted a number of friends and said I would like to visit but I have chosen not to do so.
The decisions I have made while leaving me alone today also have allowed me the freedom to do much that I would not otherwise have been able to do. At this stage of my life if I have not made any other commitments and the budget I have designed permits I am free on holiday weekends. I can travel to visit friends or to just explore. I can also, when the weather permits, decide to sit here writing as I am doing do, take a long bike ride, go to the gym, take myself out to breakfast or one of a million other activities. My Amazon Alexa notwithstanding, I will not hurt anyone’s feelings or leave someone feeling neglected if I do nothing or if I engage in any of the aforementioned activities.
I can also choose to remind myself that I not a refugee fleeing a war or because a flood, fire or other natural disaster which has stolen or destroyed my home. I am not lying in a hospice bed or home dying alone. I am physically abled, of reasonably sound mind (I will choose not to take a poll on that subject), blessed with a passion for much that life has to offer and know that I am loved by many. In short, I would be hard pressed to ask for pity or to pretend that I am a mere, poor victim who is all alone.
I smile remembering a Christmas when my son was with his mother and the children of my then partner was with her ex-husband. Some people had expressed sadness that we were without our children. Yet, there we were on Christmas morning in our cozy robes, drinking coffee, enjoying the fire we had made in the fireplace and feeling rather frisky and passionate. The actual picture was a bit devoid of regrets or poor us. Obviously, we could have made a different choice. We could have chosen the poor me. Instead the Normal Rockwell painting had been temporarily put in the closet!
On this Sunday morning, I will remind myself that I am blessed to have choices - choices joined by fate or luck. I will remind myself that my current choices are largely based on past choices and my future choices will depend on what choices I made today. One of the choices I have is whether or not to focus on the blessings of my life or on the blessings I decide are missing.
I cannot do anything about bullies (countries or individuals) , the weather, or much of what is going on in the world today. I can embrace all I experience and all who touch my life today.
Choices are fascinating, living phenomena which determine much of the life dance. It is good to know that.
Written September 3, 2017
Fierce storms, terrible flooding in parts of the United States and many other countries, individuals and countries bullying each other, different views of history, pardons without atonement, differing views of shared history, family and community gatherings, are all topics which vie for attention in my brain. Another part of the brain is also focused this Sunday on the fact that all choices I have and continue to make have consequences. At times throughout my life I have been tempted to cry foul about my life circumstances. Certainly, living with discrimination, unequal opportunities, and unfair treatment have been a part of my life journey – more so than for some less so than for others.
At times, I also find myself bemoaning some facet or aspect of my life. Yet, when I get honest with myself I am forced to accept that the significant portion of my current life circumstances are a direct result of decisions I have made in the past. Certainly, luck, fate, or other circumstances may play a role in the design and choreography of my current life dance, but I have also made very clear and intentional decisions leading to this moment in time. If I resist the temptation to think in terms of duality – right/wrong, good/bad, correct/incorrect, brilliant/stupid – I am able to just notice and accept that fact. A good example is the fact that I am spending this holiday outside the confines of the picture depicted in many advertisements and the picture that is often labeled as normal. In the United States, it is Labor Day weekend - a day set aside to honor the worker bees. As with many other holiday weekends the picture which is sold to one is that of families gathering, grilling food, playing touch football or other games, boating and in general putting aside all other concerns. I have chosen to live far from my family of origin and my son has chosen to live far away from me. I have also chosen not to move closer to my son or my family of origin. I do not have a partner because I have chosen to end two marriages and two other relationships with significant others. I have also chosen to not host a gathering in my house just as I have chosen not to let others knows that I would like to spend time with them. I could easily have contacted a number of friends and said I would like to visit but I have chosen not to do so.
The decisions I have made while leaving me alone today also have allowed me the freedom to do much that I would not otherwise have been able to do. At this stage of my life if I have not made any other commitments and the budget I have designed permits I am free on holiday weekends. I can travel to visit friends or to just explore. I can also, when the weather permits, decide to sit here writing as I am doing do, take a long bike ride, go to the gym, take myself out to breakfast or one of a million other activities. My Amazon Alexa notwithstanding, I will not hurt anyone’s feelings or leave someone feeling neglected if I do nothing or if I engage in any of the aforementioned activities.
I can also choose to remind myself that I not a refugee fleeing a war or because a flood, fire or other natural disaster which has stolen or destroyed my home. I am not lying in a hospice bed or home dying alone. I am physically abled, of reasonably sound mind (I will choose not to take a poll on that subject), blessed with a passion for much that life has to offer and know that I am loved by many. In short, I would be hard pressed to ask for pity or to pretend that I am a mere, poor victim who is all alone.
I smile remembering a Christmas when my son was with his mother and the children of my then partner was with her ex-husband. Some people had expressed sadness that we were without our children. Yet, there we were on Christmas morning in our cozy robes, drinking coffee, enjoying the fire we had made in the fireplace and feeling rather frisky and passionate. The actual picture was a bit devoid of regrets or poor us. Obviously, we could have made a different choice. We could have chosen the poor me. Instead the Normal Rockwell painting had been temporarily put in the closet!
On this Sunday morning, I will remind myself that I am blessed to have choices - choices joined by fate or luck. I will remind myself that my current choices are largely based on past choices and my future choices will depend on what choices I made today. One of the choices I have is whether or not to focus on the blessings of my life or on the blessings I decide are missing.
I cannot do anything about bullies (countries or individuals) , the weather, or much of what is going on in the world today. I can embrace all I experience and all who touch my life today.
Choices are fascinating, living phenomena which determine much of the life dance. It is good to know that.
Written September 3, 2017
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