Sunday Musings – September 9, 2018
It is a rainy, cool, fall feeling Sunday morning as I enjoy the safe cocoon of my home which is filled with reminders of many of the loving people in my life. I have just finished penning a note to the family of a friend. His life will be celebrated tomorrow. It does seem as if, especially as we age, we spend an increasing amount of time saying goodbye. We may again be challenged to find meaning in this brief life journey.
Many of us spend an inordinate amount of this life journey attempting to find meaning in work, community accomplishments, parenting, attempting to prove our worth in some other way, or getting ready for our vision of eternity. We often attempt to please the god of our understanding, our biological family, the members of the media, our friends, or our professional associates. Unlike other animals we have a difficult time believing that it is enough to be us; that we could possibly be worthy of unconditional love and acceptance. Sadly, because we are not sure we are enough, we attempt to prove that we are better than, worthier than or in some other way the chosen of the God of our understanding. In so doing we reinforce not only our own fear but the fear of others that they are not enough. Sometimes, this fear is so internalized that we give up or attempt to keep ourselves numb with drugs, things, power, or sex.
We set lofty spiritual or other goals. We convince ourselves that if our children are “successful” or even happy we can relax. If our peers find us laudable we are enough. Whatever our profession we can fall into the trap of thinking that popularity or being in demand proves our worth. Yet, we learn that this too is fleeting. Sometimes an emotional or physical injury or illness cuts short our path to what we thought was success or what we thought the god of our understanding demands of us.
This life journey is, in the end, two minutes long whether we measure it in minutes, decades or even a century. I am quite sure that it was less than a minute ago that I was falling in love with my first-grade teacher, graduating from high school, following the path chosen by others, exploring my own path and then choosing another, witnessing the miracle of the birth of my son who is now 47, or falling in love with his mother.
We often hear that “all we have is love” or “love is enough” or, as I read in a Facebook post this morning, “I choose love as my outlet. Everyone has been hurt.”. Could it be enough that we are grateful for the moments when we free ourselves enough to love; when we free ourselves enough to receive love?
Today I will practice accepting the fact that not only am I powerless over the journey of my son and all others who I love; over war; over accumulating the most toys or the most awards; or over healing those who suffer from addiction. I can accept love and I can do my best to love today. Perhaps someone who is feeling unworthy of love will “catch” that molecule of love as it goes floating over the universe. Perhaps, as my very young son reminded me many years ago- just the other day –, “Today I can ride on a cloud.” Perhaps, as my friend Becky reminds me, rain is the liquid sunshine falling from that cloud upon which my son is riding.
Written September 9, 2018
It is a rainy, cool, fall feeling Sunday morning as I enjoy the safe cocoon of my home which is filled with reminders of many of the loving people in my life. I have just finished penning a note to the family of a friend. His life will be celebrated tomorrow. It does seem as if, especially as we age, we spend an increasing amount of time saying goodbye. We may again be challenged to find meaning in this brief life journey.
Many of us spend an inordinate amount of this life journey attempting to find meaning in work, community accomplishments, parenting, attempting to prove our worth in some other way, or getting ready for our vision of eternity. We often attempt to please the god of our understanding, our biological family, the members of the media, our friends, or our professional associates. Unlike other animals we have a difficult time believing that it is enough to be us; that we could possibly be worthy of unconditional love and acceptance. Sadly, because we are not sure we are enough, we attempt to prove that we are better than, worthier than or in some other way the chosen of the God of our understanding. In so doing we reinforce not only our own fear but the fear of others that they are not enough. Sometimes, this fear is so internalized that we give up or attempt to keep ourselves numb with drugs, things, power, or sex.
We set lofty spiritual or other goals. We convince ourselves that if our children are “successful” or even happy we can relax. If our peers find us laudable we are enough. Whatever our profession we can fall into the trap of thinking that popularity or being in demand proves our worth. Yet, we learn that this too is fleeting. Sometimes an emotional or physical injury or illness cuts short our path to what we thought was success or what we thought the god of our understanding demands of us.
This life journey is, in the end, two minutes long whether we measure it in minutes, decades or even a century. I am quite sure that it was less than a minute ago that I was falling in love with my first-grade teacher, graduating from high school, following the path chosen by others, exploring my own path and then choosing another, witnessing the miracle of the birth of my son who is now 47, or falling in love with his mother.
We often hear that “all we have is love” or “love is enough” or, as I read in a Facebook post this morning, “I choose love as my outlet. Everyone has been hurt.”. Could it be enough that we are grateful for the moments when we free ourselves enough to love; when we free ourselves enough to receive love?
Today I will practice accepting the fact that not only am I powerless over the journey of my son and all others who I love; over war; over accumulating the most toys or the most awards; or over healing those who suffer from addiction. I can accept love and I can do my best to love today. Perhaps someone who is feeling unworthy of love will “catch” that molecule of love as it goes floating over the universe. Perhaps, as my very young son reminded me many years ago- just the other day –, “Today I can ride on a cloud.” Perhaps, as my friend Becky reminds me, rain is the liquid sunshine falling from that cloud upon which my son is riding.
Written September 9, 2018
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