Symptoms versus core issues
I have previously given a lot of thought to and written about this subject. This morning I was reading yet another editorial in the local newspapers about sexual abuse. The writer was suggesting that the status of limitation for prosecuting cases of sexual abuse be changed to allow those who have been abused time to get healthy enough to be able to face the potential charges and trial of those who sexually abused. Once again, I was reminded of the pain of being forced to experience the intimacy of sex. The estimate of the number of incidents of sexual abuse varies from study to study. Everyone seems to agree that are still many people who do not report sexual abuse and, thus, the figures are much higher than any law enforcement records might reflect.
The editorial I read this morning again used descriptive words such as monster, heinous, and predator. Yet, we know that the person who commits acts of sexual abuse are not these labels. They are human beings who are also mothers, fathers, siblings, spouses, lovers, friends, cousins and other respected member of the community. They are doctors, lawyers, mechanics, truck drivers, teachers, clergy, counselors and students. They are young, old, middle age, black, white, brown, and yellow. They are male, female, heterosexual, homosexual, transsexual and bisexuals. They are female and male. They are educated and those with less education. They are those who are politically conservative and those who are liberal. They are religious and not religious. They are those who may believe that their gender worth is largely dependent on being superior to the opposite gender. They are those who are active addicts and those who have no mental illness and would be considered “of sound mind”.
Those who are labeled as sexual predators or offenders include those who are emotionally the same age as the “underage” person with whom they had “consensual” sex, I. e. a 15 year and a 19-year-old. They include those who had sex with an underage sex worker who lied about their age.
There are those labeled as predators or sexual offenders who are being initiated into some gang or group and must “prove” their loyalty or worthiness by sexually assaulting another or even participating in a gang rape.
No person who carries the label of sexual predator or sexual offender is that label. They are always much more than that.
In some cases, the law and many of my colleagues collude to make it appear that the core issues are being addressed with these labels. I had been present in court when my colleagues have testified that a 15-year-old who had consensual sex with an immature 19-year-old was damaged for life. He or she was actually more damaged by being told they were damaged than they were by the consensual sexual activity. Sometime the real damage is because of homophobia, sexism or racism.
Sexual behavior may or may not lead one to an accurate label or diagnosis. Sexual behavior is a symptom of healthy or unhealthy behavior. Instead of building more jails, hiring more judges, parole and probation officers or subsidizing the careers of attorneys we need to quit labeling and diagnosing conditions on the basis of symptoms. If a significant number of people have the same or similar symptoms we need to work harder to identify the root problem or issue. We need to know, for example, why child pornography is such a huge business. What are we doing as cultures in many parts of the world to create or form so many individuals who are attracted to both young post pubescent and pre-pubescent children?
Why do we continue to create costumes to celebrate our sexuality while not exploring ways to respectfully live with it? Why do we avoid intimacy and seek sexual coupling? There are many more questions which various disciplines need to be asking and researching rather than participating in the labeling of symptoms and pretending as if we, as societies, can stop the symptoms with punishments. More jails, more negative labels, more sexual offender lists and more delusional pretentions are not the answer. I am not suggesting that the answers are easy or quick but I do know that diagnosing and treating on the basis of symptoms is never more than a temporary quick fix - a drug of choice for many cultures.
Written May 24, 2019
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
I have previously given a lot of thought to and written about this subject. This morning I was reading yet another editorial in the local newspapers about sexual abuse. The writer was suggesting that the status of limitation for prosecuting cases of sexual abuse be changed to allow those who have been abused time to get healthy enough to be able to face the potential charges and trial of those who sexually abused. Once again, I was reminded of the pain of being forced to experience the intimacy of sex. The estimate of the number of incidents of sexual abuse varies from study to study. Everyone seems to agree that are still many people who do not report sexual abuse and, thus, the figures are much higher than any law enforcement records might reflect.
The editorial I read this morning again used descriptive words such as monster, heinous, and predator. Yet, we know that the person who commits acts of sexual abuse are not these labels. They are human beings who are also mothers, fathers, siblings, spouses, lovers, friends, cousins and other respected member of the community. They are doctors, lawyers, mechanics, truck drivers, teachers, clergy, counselors and students. They are young, old, middle age, black, white, brown, and yellow. They are male, female, heterosexual, homosexual, transsexual and bisexuals. They are female and male. They are educated and those with less education. They are those who are politically conservative and those who are liberal. They are religious and not religious. They are those who may believe that their gender worth is largely dependent on being superior to the opposite gender. They are those who are active addicts and those who have no mental illness and would be considered “of sound mind”.
Those who are labeled as sexual predators or offenders include those who are emotionally the same age as the “underage” person with whom they had “consensual” sex, I. e. a 15 year and a 19-year-old. They include those who had sex with an underage sex worker who lied about their age.
There are those labeled as predators or sexual offenders who are being initiated into some gang or group and must “prove” their loyalty or worthiness by sexually assaulting another or even participating in a gang rape.
No person who carries the label of sexual predator or sexual offender is that label. They are always much more than that.
In some cases, the law and many of my colleagues collude to make it appear that the core issues are being addressed with these labels. I had been present in court when my colleagues have testified that a 15-year-old who had consensual sex with an immature 19-year-old was damaged for life. He or she was actually more damaged by being told they were damaged than they were by the consensual sexual activity. Sometime the real damage is because of homophobia, sexism or racism.
Sexual behavior may or may not lead one to an accurate label or diagnosis. Sexual behavior is a symptom of healthy or unhealthy behavior. Instead of building more jails, hiring more judges, parole and probation officers or subsidizing the careers of attorneys we need to quit labeling and diagnosing conditions on the basis of symptoms. If a significant number of people have the same or similar symptoms we need to work harder to identify the root problem or issue. We need to know, for example, why child pornography is such a huge business. What are we doing as cultures in many parts of the world to create or form so many individuals who are attracted to both young post pubescent and pre-pubescent children?
Why do we continue to create costumes to celebrate our sexuality while not exploring ways to respectfully live with it? Why do we avoid intimacy and seek sexual coupling? There are many more questions which various disciplines need to be asking and researching rather than participating in the labeling of symptoms and pretending as if we, as societies, can stop the symptoms with punishments. More jails, more negative labels, more sexual offender lists and more delusional pretentions are not the answer. I am not suggesting that the answers are easy or quick but I do know that diagnosing and treating on the basis of symptoms is never more than a temporary quick fix - a drug of choice for many cultures.
Written May 24, 2019
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
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