Teacher-student --- Student-teacher
Just recently I wrote about managing anxiety. It was a very erudite and wise piece! Yet, this morning shortly after 5:00 a.m., while I was doing morning texting and emailing on the computer, I suddenly started getting messages that texts could not be sent. I looked at the phone and the screen was blank. At first I thought that perhaps night time recharging plug connection had come loose. I plugged in phone, waited a bit and tried to turn it on. Nothing. I plugged it in someplace else. Nothing. I kept trying thinking that it just needed more time to recharge. By this time, I am 30 minutes behind schedule. Finally, it occurs to me to turn the computer back on and google YouTube. I type in, “What to do if iPhone screen goes blank?” I get many hits. I click on a You Tube video. There is Kayla who I am sure is no more than eight who patiently, knowing she is talking to a technology dependent illiterate, tells me what to do. Viola! The phone is working. I breathe a huge sigh of relief and would kiss Kayla if I could reach into the phone. I also find out, with further exploration, that if this keeps happening it may mean that the screen needs replaced. I am not aware that this fairly new phone has gotten wet or suffered other intrusive abuse, but it is good to know there is a solution which is probably covered by the warranty.
The anxiety is gone. Why was there so much anxiety and why did I not immediately consult that wise man who wrote so eloquently and wisely about managing anxiety? What messages was I giving myself? I know that they included:
· I have many commitments to clients, a home inspector, realtor, friends and others today all of whom are dependent on being reachable via my normal phone number.
· It is imperative that I keep these commitments.
· I have no backup plan to reach people although I do have most phone numbers in my computer.
· I should not be anxious. I have failed at following my own advice.
· I cannot function without my phone or at least the ability to let people know why I am not responding to them.
I suspect that there may have been other messages, but these are the ones which immediately come to mind. I am acutely aware that I have adopted some of these messages fairly recently in my adult life. Although the first experiments with wireless phones began in 1908 it was not until the eighties that some privileged people had this rather large phone contraption in a box which one could use in the car. I and many others did not get our first cell phone for everyday use until sometime in the nineties. There were many places where this phone did not work. Still it was a major help to those of us who were on call. It allowed for a lot more flexibility and reduced the necessity of looking for a pay phone during breaks from some activity to call the answering service, retrieve messages and return client/patient calls. It was much later that I got an iPhone and relatively recently when I and millions of others could check email, text messages, Facebook messages or Instagram on our phones.
I have obviously lived most of my personal and professional life without being so instantly available or connected. Somehow I and others managed to function well much of the time.
It would seem that humans, including this one, adjust our lives to the latest technological advances which are available to us. I am also quite aware that this human readjusted to living without these “advances” fairly quickly. As I have previously mentioned when I lived for a time in an island community in Alaska which did not then have satellite availability (other than the military), no regular electricity and, thus, no television or other way of getting instant news, I adjusted quite well in a relatively short period of time. Initially, however, I suffered acute withdrawal symptoms including anxiety about what I might miss. I suppose my brain had internalized the message that I would not be able to function well if I did not have the “necessary” information. Yet, of course, I did function. It is true that if someone were sick on the island one might not be able to reach help quickly. That meant that the person might or might not be able to get the help one n eeded. Yet, whoever was left, “carried on” as best as possible.
The truth is that I need the daily reminders that many of the messages I give myself are not nearly as binding or accurate as they first seem. If my phone does not work, a number of people, including myself, might be inconvenienced or have to change their schedule but the overall process of life will go on.
The truth is that I am not a worthless person if I cannot keep the commitment I made because of some new issues such as an illness, death of a person (including myself) or the death of a piece of equipment.
The truth is, no matter how illogical, humans are going to continue to get anxious and, if not careful, feed or reinforce the messages associated with the anxious feeling.
The truth is that healthy survival for us humans requires a significant ability to “just notice the process, smile, breathe, and correct the messages.”
Written August 25, 2016
Just recently I wrote about managing anxiety. It was a very erudite and wise piece! Yet, this morning shortly after 5:00 a.m., while I was doing morning texting and emailing on the computer, I suddenly started getting messages that texts could not be sent. I looked at the phone and the screen was blank. At first I thought that perhaps night time recharging plug connection had come loose. I plugged in phone, waited a bit and tried to turn it on. Nothing. I plugged it in someplace else. Nothing. I kept trying thinking that it just needed more time to recharge. By this time, I am 30 minutes behind schedule. Finally, it occurs to me to turn the computer back on and google YouTube. I type in, “What to do if iPhone screen goes blank?” I get many hits. I click on a You Tube video. There is Kayla who I am sure is no more than eight who patiently, knowing she is talking to a technology dependent illiterate, tells me what to do. Viola! The phone is working. I breathe a huge sigh of relief and would kiss Kayla if I could reach into the phone. I also find out, with further exploration, that if this keeps happening it may mean that the screen needs replaced. I am not aware that this fairly new phone has gotten wet or suffered other intrusive abuse, but it is good to know there is a solution which is probably covered by the warranty.
The anxiety is gone. Why was there so much anxiety and why did I not immediately consult that wise man who wrote so eloquently and wisely about managing anxiety? What messages was I giving myself? I know that they included:
· I have many commitments to clients, a home inspector, realtor, friends and others today all of whom are dependent on being reachable via my normal phone number.
· It is imperative that I keep these commitments.
· I have no backup plan to reach people although I do have most phone numbers in my computer.
· I should not be anxious. I have failed at following my own advice.
· I cannot function without my phone or at least the ability to let people know why I am not responding to them.
I suspect that there may have been other messages, but these are the ones which immediately come to mind. I am acutely aware that I have adopted some of these messages fairly recently in my adult life. Although the first experiments with wireless phones began in 1908 it was not until the eighties that some privileged people had this rather large phone contraption in a box which one could use in the car. I and many others did not get our first cell phone for everyday use until sometime in the nineties. There were many places where this phone did not work. Still it was a major help to those of us who were on call. It allowed for a lot more flexibility and reduced the necessity of looking for a pay phone during breaks from some activity to call the answering service, retrieve messages and return client/patient calls. It was much later that I got an iPhone and relatively recently when I and millions of others could check email, text messages, Facebook messages or Instagram on our phones.
I have obviously lived most of my personal and professional life without being so instantly available or connected. Somehow I and others managed to function well much of the time.
It would seem that humans, including this one, adjust our lives to the latest technological advances which are available to us. I am also quite aware that this human readjusted to living without these “advances” fairly quickly. As I have previously mentioned when I lived for a time in an island community in Alaska which did not then have satellite availability (other than the military), no regular electricity and, thus, no television or other way of getting instant news, I adjusted quite well in a relatively short period of time. Initially, however, I suffered acute withdrawal symptoms including anxiety about what I might miss. I suppose my brain had internalized the message that I would not be able to function well if I did not have the “necessary” information. Yet, of course, I did function. It is true that if someone were sick on the island one might not be able to reach help quickly. That meant that the person might or might not be able to get the help one n eeded. Yet, whoever was left, “carried on” as best as possible.
The truth is that I need the daily reminders that many of the messages I give myself are not nearly as binding or accurate as they first seem. If my phone does not work, a number of people, including myself, might be inconvenienced or have to change their schedule but the overall process of life will go on.
The truth is that I am not a worthless person if I cannot keep the commitment I made because of some new issues such as an illness, death of a person (including myself) or the death of a piece of equipment.
The truth is, no matter how illogical, humans are going to continue to get anxious and, if not careful, feed or reinforce the messages associated with the anxious feeling.
The truth is that healthy survival for us humans requires a significant ability to “just notice the process, smile, breathe, and correct the messages.”
Written August 25, 2016
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