The art of worrying!
It seems some of us manage to hone the art of worry until it is a finely sharp blade which seems to slice into the center of our contentment.
I am fully aware that it sometimes difficult to determine whether a medical condition resulting in an unsettling feeling prompts the thought process which begins the “what if” process or if the “what if” thought process prompts the physical unsettled feeling. I suppose it does not matter. Regardless of which comes first, as soon as one begins to feed the “what if” thoughts one can become consumed by the thoughts which then threaten to immobilize one. One has given one’s power over to the internal anxiety/worry machine. In effect, one has said to the “what if thoughts”, “You are right. What if x happens? There is also the possibility of Y as well as A, B, C, D, E and so forth. There is no point in doing anything. Bad things are going to happen regardless.”
One may not be consciously aware that one is having a conversation with the anxiety/worry demon. Yet, that is exactly what one is doing. As long as one is not consciously labeling this process as a conversation one will continue to feed the worry demon until it is directing a major portion of one’s life. One will increasingly live in a smaller and smaller prison thinking that one is preventing negative events from happening. This does not work. Life shows up no matter what we do. Obviously, one still uses commons sense. One does not drive unsafely, hang out with unhealthy people, deliberately put oneself in the path of danger if one can avoid it or otherwise court physical, emotional, or spiritual danger. One does not, however, avoid discomfort. Unless the discomfort is warning of a real, imminent danger, one tells the “what ifs” “Give it your best shot but you are not in charge of my life.”
When one has practiced the art of worrying or allowing the feelings of discomfort/anxiety to control one’s behavior for any period of time one finds that one’s world shrinks until one is doing very little outside the relative comfort of one’s home. If one does work outside the home, one may stay at a job because it is close to home or because it is familiar even if one is getting paid very little, is not professionally challenged or otherwise mistreated.
I often recommend to myself and to others to be daily intentional about one’s relationship with the lies of anxiety/discomfort. I further recommend that all of us daily write down and share our emotional and spiritual intentions for the day. For me this means, at a minimum, that I validate that the strong me is in charge of the day. I can and will challenge myself to grow each day. If I am tempted to allow the “what ifs” to be in charge I will intentionally commit to moving beyond the “what if” and take what may feel like an emotional risk. If I am tempted to avoid an issues or task because I do not want to face the discomfort I will intentionally make plans to face that issue or do that task. If I need support I will call, email, text or messenger someone.
I know the anxiety/worry can become, if fed, a dragon which takes charge of one’s life and limits the possibilities in all area. As the wizard reminds Dorothy and her friends, we all have the strength we need to quit feeding the mouse which threatens to convince us that it is a dragon.
Written August 30, 2018
It seems some of us manage to hone the art of worry until it is a finely sharp blade which seems to slice into the center of our contentment.
I am fully aware that it sometimes difficult to determine whether a medical condition resulting in an unsettling feeling prompts the thought process which begins the “what if” process or if the “what if” thought process prompts the physical unsettled feeling. I suppose it does not matter. Regardless of which comes first, as soon as one begins to feed the “what if” thoughts one can become consumed by the thoughts which then threaten to immobilize one. One has given one’s power over to the internal anxiety/worry machine. In effect, one has said to the “what if thoughts”, “You are right. What if x happens? There is also the possibility of Y as well as A, B, C, D, E and so forth. There is no point in doing anything. Bad things are going to happen regardless.”
One may not be consciously aware that one is having a conversation with the anxiety/worry demon. Yet, that is exactly what one is doing. As long as one is not consciously labeling this process as a conversation one will continue to feed the worry demon until it is directing a major portion of one’s life. One will increasingly live in a smaller and smaller prison thinking that one is preventing negative events from happening. This does not work. Life shows up no matter what we do. Obviously, one still uses commons sense. One does not drive unsafely, hang out with unhealthy people, deliberately put oneself in the path of danger if one can avoid it or otherwise court physical, emotional, or spiritual danger. One does not, however, avoid discomfort. Unless the discomfort is warning of a real, imminent danger, one tells the “what ifs” “Give it your best shot but you are not in charge of my life.”
When one has practiced the art of worrying or allowing the feelings of discomfort/anxiety to control one’s behavior for any period of time one finds that one’s world shrinks until one is doing very little outside the relative comfort of one’s home. If one does work outside the home, one may stay at a job because it is close to home or because it is familiar even if one is getting paid very little, is not professionally challenged or otherwise mistreated.
I often recommend to myself and to others to be daily intentional about one’s relationship with the lies of anxiety/discomfort. I further recommend that all of us daily write down and share our emotional and spiritual intentions for the day. For me this means, at a minimum, that I validate that the strong me is in charge of the day. I can and will challenge myself to grow each day. If I am tempted to allow the “what ifs” to be in charge I will intentionally commit to moving beyond the “what if” and take what may feel like an emotional risk. If I am tempted to avoid an issues or task because I do not want to face the discomfort I will intentionally make plans to face that issue or do that task. If I need support I will call, email, text or messenger someone.
I know the anxiety/worry can become, if fed, a dragon which takes charge of one’s life and limits the possibilities in all area. As the wizard reminds Dorothy and her friends, we all have the strength we need to quit feeding the mouse which threatens to convince us that it is a dragon.
Written August 30, 2018
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