The challenge of being non-judgmental
Daily, sometimes hourly, I am challenged by someone who has a different opinion than I do about gun rights, some form of sexual behavior, what constitutes justice, conducting a positive political campaign, the inequality of the distribution of resources, or any number of other issues. The challenge is to respond in a way which is loving, respectful, and which encourages open dialogue.
Even though I have strong personal opinions, they are only opinions. They are not the moral “truths” I sometimes feel they are. For example, I just responded to an email lauding the rights and necessity of owning and being willing to use a gun for self defense. I do not own a gun and do not plan on owning one. I have, however, killed animals for food. Animal meat has been a stable of my diet since I was a young child. I no longer personally share the responsibility of ending the life of an animal (or even a plant) in order to feed others and myself, but I can hardly claim to be morally superior or even against the use of guns to kill for food. On the other hand I have never used or threatened the use of a gun toward another person. I was, however, when in the U.S. Navy trained to shoot military level weapons, including pistols and rifles who’s solve purpose was to kill other humans. I would like to think I could not have shot anyone, but I was never in a position to find out if that was the case.
I have never gotten drunk only because after one or two drinks I became immediately physically ill. I seem physically unable to get drunk. I have never used recreational drugs because I was always very fearful of addiction and losing control. I can hardly claim a more high ground for this inability to put myself in the position to abuse drugs or becoming addicted. I did, however, become addicted to nicotine and found letting go of that behavior very difficult. I often illogically defended my use of nicotine or used anger to defer discussion of this disgusting habit!
I have never been sexually attracted to children and again am very grateful for that blessing. Again, I get no credit for this. This was not a decision but merely a fact of my particular humanness.
My point is that, for me, humility is about letting go of the belief or the felt “need” to know “the truth” or to delude myself into thinking I am morally superior because I do not had to deal with many issues or situations. I do have a set of core values, which guide my daily behavior. Fortunately, today my mind works such that I seem to be able to make most choices based on those core values. This is a blessing.
The challenge for me is to move toward being less judgmental, noticing when I am judgmental and naming the issue as my judgmentalness rather than asserting that I am right and the other person(s) is wrong.
I believe my worth/value as a human is about an openness to learning and connecting to what I have in common with all other humans and not about being right.
Written March 20, 2018
Daily, sometimes hourly, I am challenged by someone who has a different opinion than I do about gun rights, some form of sexual behavior, what constitutes justice, conducting a positive political campaign, the inequality of the distribution of resources, or any number of other issues. The challenge is to respond in a way which is loving, respectful, and which encourages open dialogue.
Even though I have strong personal opinions, they are only opinions. They are not the moral “truths” I sometimes feel they are. For example, I just responded to an email lauding the rights and necessity of owning and being willing to use a gun for self defense. I do not own a gun and do not plan on owning one. I have, however, killed animals for food. Animal meat has been a stable of my diet since I was a young child. I no longer personally share the responsibility of ending the life of an animal (or even a plant) in order to feed others and myself, but I can hardly claim to be morally superior or even against the use of guns to kill for food. On the other hand I have never used or threatened the use of a gun toward another person. I was, however, when in the U.S. Navy trained to shoot military level weapons, including pistols and rifles who’s solve purpose was to kill other humans. I would like to think I could not have shot anyone, but I was never in a position to find out if that was the case.
I have never gotten drunk only because after one or two drinks I became immediately physically ill. I seem physically unable to get drunk. I have never used recreational drugs because I was always very fearful of addiction and losing control. I can hardly claim a more high ground for this inability to put myself in the position to abuse drugs or becoming addicted. I did, however, become addicted to nicotine and found letting go of that behavior very difficult. I often illogically defended my use of nicotine or used anger to defer discussion of this disgusting habit!
I have never been sexually attracted to children and again am very grateful for that blessing. Again, I get no credit for this. This was not a decision but merely a fact of my particular humanness.
My point is that, for me, humility is about letting go of the belief or the felt “need” to know “the truth” or to delude myself into thinking I am morally superior because I do not had to deal with many issues or situations. I do have a set of core values, which guide my daily behavior. Fortunately, today my mind works such that I seem to be able to make most choices based on those core values. This is a blessing.
The challenge for me is to move toward being less judgmental, noticing when I am judgmental and naming the issue as my judgmentalness rather than asserting that I am right and the other person(s) is wrong.
I believe my worth/value as a human is about an openness to learning and connecting to what I have in common with all other humans and not about being right.
Written March 20, 2018
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