The cost of foregoing empathy
Every morning I read local and National news on my iPad while eating breakfast. Sometimes I read some of the headlines on my phone prior to going to the gym. As I read news stories, I often notice myself becoming frightened and sad. It seems a majority of the news stories are about one or more people in some way injuring one or more people. The injury might be the result of an automobile accident, an out-of-control argument, becoming overwhelmed in one’s role as a parent or a worker, a road rage incident, acting on an urge to use a child or adult sexually or any number of other scenarios. My experience is that 99.9 percent of the time, the stories are articulated in such a way that there is a perpetrator and the victim or the bad person and the innocent person. Seldom, while reading or listening to a news story, do I detect any empathy for the person who injures another. It is as if the writer is unable or unwilling to imagine himself or herself in the shoes of the person who caused an injury.
Merriam-Webster defines empathy as: “the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner.”
It I am reading about an automobile accident in which someone’s carelessness resulted in serious injury to another I immediately think of my recent accident which could have easily resulted in serious injury to another person and in criminal charges being filed against me. When reading about a parent abusing a child, I can easily recall moments of acute frustration or feelings as if I was going to “lose it” when I was taking care of my son or some other children. When reading of someone getting so upset that they whipped out a gun and shot someone, I can easily recall why I do not ever give myself access to a gun. When there is a tragic account of a person sexually using/abusing a young child I can easily imagine the realignment of the firings of the neurons of my brain resulting in a strong desire to control/use another - even a child. While I pray that none of these scenarios befalls me, I know that given the right circumstances or a misfiring of my brain I could be either the person causing the harm or the person receiving the harm,
Often, in the United States and other countries our concept or system of justice and maintaining a semblance of order and peace is based on the assumption that there are good people and bad people. While there is some allowance for having an accident, there is little to no allowance for the so-called good person viewing child pornography, abusing a child or shooting someone. Occasionally, there might be a writer or speaker who can identify with becoming addicted to alcohol or some other drug but even that seems rare.
As long as we divide the world into good and bad people the less chance there is that we will design and implement effective plans to reduce the factors which result in us humans hurting each other.
For example, we might accept that parenting hours on end by oneself is not a realistic model especially when one has a myriad of other responsibilities. We might decide that ready access to guns is not sensible. We might decide that all deserve and need a wage which allows for a realistic budget. We might decide that teaching math, reading and other skills in the context of designing a healthy, sharing community facilitates a passion for learning. We might decide that we need to attempt to discern why there are so many people sexually attracted to or wanting to control children. We might decide that we need to ferret out what is resulting in so many young people seeing no purpose in community building. We might decide that phones and other devices should not be able to operate when a car is in motion.
We might have more appreciation for the fact that being able to have a shared reality is a bit of magic or Grace rather than an assumption based on free will.
We might decide that when a problem is affecting millions of people the cause might be systemic.
We might decide the line we like to imagine dividing the population into “us and them” is a matter of luck, fate or Grace; a line which can change in an instant.
We might decide that empathy is necessary for a workable and just society.
Written April 20, 2022
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
Every morning I read local and National news on my iPad while eating breakfast. Sometimes I read some of the headlines on my phone prior to going to the gym. As I read news stories, I often notice myself becoming frightened and sad. It seems a majority of the news stories are about one or more people in some way injuring one or more people. The injury might be the result of an automobile accident, an out-of-control argument, becoming overwhelmed in one’s role as a parent or a worker, a road rage incident, acting on an urge to use a child or adult sexually or any number of other scenarios. My experience is that 99.9 percent of the time, the stories are articulated in such a way that there is a perpetrator and the victim or the bad person and the innocent person. Seldom, while reading or listening to a news story, do I detect any empathy for the person who injures another. It is as if the writer is unable or unwilling to imagine himself or herself in the shoes of the person who caused an injury.
Merriam-Webster defines empathy as: “the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner.”
It I am reading about an automobile accident in which someone’s carelessness resulted in serious injury to another I immediately think of my recent accident which could have easily resulted in serious injury to another person and in criminal charges being filed against me. When reading about a parent abusing a child, I can easily recall moments of acute frustration or feelings as if I was going to “lose it” when I was taking care of my son or some other children. When reading of someone getting so upset that they whipped out a gun and shot someone, I can easily recall why I do not ever give myself access to a gun. When there is a tragic account of a person sexually using/abusing a young child I can easily imagine the realignment of the firings of the neurons of my brain resulting in a strong desire to control/use another - even a child. While I pray that none of these scenarios befalls me, I know that given the right circumstances or a misfiring of my brain I could be either the person causing the harm or the person receiving the harm,
Often, in the United States and other countries our concept or system of justice and maintaining a semblance of order and peace is based on the assumption that there are good people and bad people. While there is some allowance for having an accident, there is little to no allowance for the so-called good person viewing child pornography, abusing a child or shooting someone. Occasionally, there might be a writer or speaker who can identify with becoming addicted to alcohol or some other drug but even that seems rare.
As long as we divide the world into good and bad people the less chance there is that we will design and implement effective plans to reduce the factors which result in us humans hurting each other.
For example, we might accept that parenting hours on end by oneself is not a realistic model especially when one has a myriad of other responsibilities. We might decide that ready access to guns is not sensible. We might decide that all deserve and need a wage which allows for a realistic budget. We might decide that teaching math, reading and other skills in the context of designing a healthy, sharing community facilitates a passion for learning. We might decide that we need to attempt to discern why there are so many people sexually attracted to or wanting to control children. We might decide that we need to ferret out what is resulting in so many young people seeing no purpose in community building. We might decide that phones and other devices should not be able to operate when a car is in motion.
We might have more appreciation for the fact that being able to have a shared reality is a bit of magic or Grace rather than an assumption based on free will.
We might decide that when a problem is affecting millions of people the cause might be systemic.
We might decide the line we like to imagine dividing the population into “us and them” is a matter of luck, fate or Grace; a line which can change in an instant.
We might decide that empathy is necessary for a workable and just society.
Written April 20, 2022
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
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