The courage of love
Twice in the past two days the subject of physical fighting came up in conversations. Well, actually three times if one counts some text messages regarding strong feelings of some about destruction of property and the destruction of the United States Flag. The subject of violence was also addressed at length in a rebroadcast of a 2013 conversation between On Being host, Krista Tippett and the recently deceased John Lewis. John Lewis was a member of the United States House of Representative for many years, an author, a civil rights leader who was jailed at least 40 times for his work, a survivor of a brutal beating by those opposing the goals of the civil rights workers, a firm believer in the power of non-violence and in loving those who hurt you physically, emotionally, financially and otherwise. He was non-violent but not passive. He maintained that love is not a feeling but an action. “It is a way of being.” He claimed to not have hate for or resentment of those who beat him. His understanding of the teaching which is attributed to Jesus to love one’s enemy was that there was no exceptions to this commandment. He would have, I think, agreed with Father Greg Boyle that behind every bad behavior is pain. Thus, it is always safe to follow the advice of the persons who trained him and others in the power of non-violent protests. The advice was, when physically possible look lovingly into the eyes of the person who is abusing you. This may not stop the immediate violence, but it will have a lasting impact on the violent person and it will force the one being abused to touch the humanity of the abuser.
John Lewis also strongly believed that one should envision a future of love and act as if that future is already the present. If one envisions a United States which celebrates the sacred humanity of all its citizens and honored guests it will be easy to not only walk tall and proud but to greet all with love.
Occasionally, as I did this morning, I receive a message conveying anger at those burning the United States Flag or those destroying buildings in protest of the ongoing violence against people of color. Even though I am a United States Naval veteran I do not feel anger at those who see the flag of the United States as a hypocritical symbol of freedom and equality. We are a country which has “miles to go” before the dream is manifest reality. There are those who daily experience the brutal violence of racism, sexism, homophobia and other forms of oppression. The flag is not a symbol of freedom or equality for them. I understand their anger and frustration. It is my responsibility to respond to them with love. It is also my responsibility to respond to those veterans who feel dishonored by the burning of the flag; those who feel their sacrifices are being mocked by the burning of the flag, with love.
I talked with another man this morning who was the victim of violent bullying at this workplace. He was also exposed to many racist statements which were not directed at him but were in earshot of a person of color. The challenge for the man who was bullied because of his non-violent, non-drinking way of being and which mauy be threatening to some of his colleagues is to respond with love to the pain beneath the bullying – to look into the eyes of those who are bullying him with love. This is not easy. The young man with whom I was talking has been bullied all his life. He has a lot of pain. He also deserves my unconditional love. He will have to decide if he will respond to the bulling with love while standing tall and proud. If he cannot do this the bullying will escalate. It may temporarily escalate no matter how he responds, but if he refuses to react with anger and negativity the bullying will eventually stop because it is not working.
Today I can choose to follow the example of John Lewis, Gandhi , Martin Luther King Jr., Jesus and others or I can feed hate and violence. Today I can choose to act as if I know that we are all brothers and sisters no matter what costumes of fear, pain and violence others are wearing. Today I can choose to own my courage to look into the eyes of all others with love.
Written July 24, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
Twice in the past two days the subject of physical fighting came up in conversations. Well, actually three times if one counts some text messages regarding strong feelings of some about destruction of property and the destruction of the United States Flag. The subject of violence was also addressed at length in a rebroadcast of a 2013 conversation between On Being host, Krista Tippett and the recently deceased John Lewis. John Lewis was a member of the United States House of Representative for many years, an author, a civil rights leader who was jailed at least 40 times for his work, a survivor of a brutal beating by those opposing the goals of the civil rights workers, a firm believer in the power of non-violence and in loving those who hurt you physically, emotionally, financially and otherwise. He was non-violent but not passive. He maintained that love is not a feeling but an action. “It is a way of being.” He claimed to not have hate for or resentment of those who beat him. His understanding of the teaching which is attributed to Jesus to love one’s enemy was that there was no exceptions to this commandment. He would have, I think, agreed with Father Greg Boyle that behind every bad behavior is pain. Thus, it is always safe to follow the advice of the persons who trained him and others in the power of non-violent protests. The advice was, when physically possible look lovingly into the eyes of the person who is abusing you. This may not stop the immediate violence, but it will have a lasting impact on the violent person and it will force the one being abused to touch the humanity of the abuser.
John Lewis also strongly believed that one should envision a future of love and act as if that future is already the present. If one envisions a United States which celebrates the sacred humanity of all its citizens and honored guests it will be easy to not only walk tall and proud but to greet all with love.
Occasionally, as I did this morning, I receive a message conveying anger at those burning the United States Flag or those destroying buildings in protest of the ongoing violence against people of color. Even though I am a United States Naval veteran I do not feel anger at those who see the flag of the United States as a hypocritical symbol of freedom and equality. We are a country which has “miles to go” before the dream is manifest reality. There are those who daily experience the brutal violence of racism, sexism, homophobia and other forms of oppression. The flag is not a symbol of freedom or equality for them. I understand their anger and frustration. It is my responsibility to respond to them with love. It is also my responsibility to respond to those veterans who feel dishonored by the burning of the flag; those who feel their sacrifices are being mocked by the burning of the flag, with love.
I talked with another man this morning who was the victim of violent bullying at this workplace. He was also exposed to many racist statements which were not directed at him but were in earshot of a person of color. The challenge for the man who was bullied because of his non-violent, non-drinking way of being and which mauy be threatening to some of his colleagues is to respond with love to the pain beneath the bullying – to look into the eyes of those who are bullying him with love. This is not easy. The young man with whom I was talking has been bullied all his life. He has a lot of pain. He also deserves my unconditional love. He will have to decide if he will respond to the bulling with love while standing tall and proud. If he cannot do this the bullying will escalate. It may temporarily escalate no matter how he responds, but if he refuses to react with anger and negativity the bullying will eventually stop because it is not working.
Today I can choose to follow the example of John Lewis, Gandhi , Martin Luther King Jr., Jesus and others or I can feed hate and violence. Today I can choose to act as if I know that we are all brothers and sisters no matter what costumes of fear, pain and violence others are wearing. Today I can choose to own my courage to look into the eyes of all others with love.
Written July 24, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
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