The fountain of youth
On PBS this morning I listened to someone talking about new efforts to discover the magic formula which will extend one’s life. Later, on the podcast Hidden Brain, I listened to the host Shankar Vedantam talk with philosopher Stephen Cave about the ways that us humans “convince ourselves that death is not really the end”. During the preceding episode of Hidden brain he talked with psychologist Sheldon Solomon” about the fear of death and how it shapes our actions.”
Many scientific studies or polls report that a significant percentage of people are unhappy much of the time. Some of these report that a greater percentage of older people are happy at any given time. Apparently this group is not so fearful of death that they are overall unhappy. Some studies report that as much as 70% of people are unhappy with their job. Other reports suggest that after the first six months only 14% of married couple are happy with their marriage. (If one searches on the internet or even in books in the library one can find statistical evidence to support any point of view or conclusion one wants to prove. Thus, it is wise to be very cautious when quoting statistics alleged to be based on scientific studies.)
Still, there do seem to be a significant number of people who are prescribed anti-depressant medications or who are seeking other treatment for what they may be labeling as chronic depression, “the blues”, feeling disconnected or miserable. The United States Center for Disease Control reported a 65% increase in antidepressant use from 1999 to 2014. Other reports indicated that this number has continued to increase. Of course, antidepressants are prescribed for conditions other than depressants. Some studies report that by 2017 between 7 and 13 % of the United States took antidepressants during a preceding month.
It does not take a scientist to observe that a great many people complain about their life; often in pubic. Yet, if one even a cursory observer, one will notice many individuals, couple and families, who have a zest for life. Although some studies report that having a decent income – considerably above the current minimum wage – decreases stress and increases the chances for happiness it is also obvious to even the casual observer that there are those with no income or very low incomes whose happiness quotient is very high.
For many a fountain of youth is not about living forever but about living in the now and savoring life. From what I read and even more from my extensive observations it seems to me that those who have a zest for life are those who seem to show up. By show up l mean to suggest that they make relationships primary. This includes relationships with:
I am sure many of us have, at times, make tasks and not relationship primary; cleaning the house, preparing a meal, purchasing something, of performing a work task. Obviously it is important to get that gallon of milk, clean the house, accomplish a work task, put out a fire, or attend to driving but one can do or and not ignore people. One can even forget to be present to the relationship with a task. For example I find chopping vegetables very meditative and relaxing.
I also suspect that those who make relationships primary are so busy savoring life that they have little time to be fearful of dying. My experience in working for/with those who are happiest/contented at the end of their life journey are those who have the fewest regrets. Of course, we all have regrets but it is possible to be accountable for our mistakes while accepting that all make mistakes and can learn from them . Even acute pain does not leave everyone equally miserable. Those who have been intentional about showing up for life seemed to have mastered the art of being with the pain but not being their pain.
It would seem that the fountain of youth is a state of mind; the courage to show up. When focused on being old or the fear of dying one is not present and, thus, waiting to live. If one is waiting to live it makes sense to me that one cannot tolerate the thought of dying.
Written October 3, 2019
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
On PBS this morning I listened to someone talking about new efforts to discover the magic formula which will extend one’s life. Later, on the podcast Hidden Brain, I listened to the host Shankar Vedantam talk with philosopher Stephen Cave about the ways that us humans “convince ourselves that death is not really the end”. During the preceding episode of Hidden brain he talked with psychologist Sheldon Solomon” about the fear of death and how it shapes our actions.”
Many scientific studies or polls report that a significant percentage of people are unhappy much of the time. Some of these report that a greater percentage of older people are happy at any given time. Apparently this group is not so fearful of death that they are overall unhappy. Some studies report that as much as 70% of people are unhappy with their job. Other reports suggest that after the first six months only 14% of married couple are happy with their marriage. (If one searches on the internet or even in books in the library one can find statistical evidence to support any point of view or conclusion one wants to prove. Thus, it is wise to be very cautious when quoting statistics alleged to be based on scientific studies.)
Still, there do seem to be a significant number of people who are prescribed anti-depressant medications or who are seeking other treatment for what they may be labeling as chronic depression, “the blues”, feeling disconnected or miserable. The United States Center for Disease Control reported a 65% increase in antidepressant use from 1999 to 2014. Other reports indicated that this number has continued to increase. Of course, antidepressants are prescribed for conditions other than depressants. Some studies report that by 2017 between 7 and 13 % of the United States took antidepressants during a preceding month.
It does not take a scientist to observe that a great many people complain about their life; often in pubic. Yet, if one even a cursory observer, one will notice many individuals, couple and families, who have a zest for life. Although some studies report that having a decent income – considerably above the current minimum wage – decreases stress and increases the chances for happiness it is also obvious to even the casual observer that there are those with no income or very low incomes whose happiness quotient is very high.
For many a fountain of youth is not about living forever but about living in the now and savoring life. From what I read and even more from my extensive observations it seems to me that those who have a zest for life are those who seem to show up. By show up l mean to suggest that they make relationships primary. This includes relationships with:
- Self
- Others- those who are also able to be present in a loving way
- Animals
- The environment
- Tasks or activities
I am sure many of us have, at times, make tasks and not relationship primary; cleaning the house, preparing a meal, purchasing something, of performing a work task. Obviously it is important to get that gallon of milk, clean the house, accomplish a work task, put out a fire, or attend to driving but one can do or and not ignore people. One can even forget to be present to the relationship with a task. For example I find chopping vegetables very meditative and relaxing.
I also suspect that those who make relationships primary are so busy savoring life that they have little time to be fearful of dying. My experience in working for/with those who are happiest/contented at the end of their life journey are those who have the fewest regrets. Of course, we all have regrets but it is possible to be accountable for our mistakes while accepting that all make mistakes and can learn from them . Even acute pain does not leave everyone equally miserable. Those who have been intentional about showing up for life seemed to have mastered the art of being with the pain but not being their pain.
It would seem that the fountain of youth is a state of mind; the courage to show up. When focused on being old or the fear of dying one is not present and, thus, waiting to live. If one is waiting to live it makes sense to me that one cannot tolerate the thought of dying.
Written October 3, 2019
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
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