The guests have arrived!
Every day I receive a number of email notices, various news letters or on line publications. Some of them would be considered politically liberal and some would be considered politically conservative. Some of those which are politically liberal might be very economically conservative. Many, in other words, discuss the issues on an issue by issue basis. During this past year or so, especially since the beginning of the presidential primary election campaign in the United States, I have received even more of these. I do not, of course, read them all since I also get spiritual newsletters and reminders, notices on new books, and many personal notes and/or comments about my blogs. Obviously there is just too much information to read and assimilate each day. As with all of us, I am a person who has some very particular concerns and interests. Currently, I am particularly cognizant of the following:
The extremism which is based in very narrow religious beliefs.
The enormous growth of spiritual practices in the world in the past few years. By this I am talking about the number of individuals who seem very intentional in thinking about their spiritual beliefs rather than just adopting those of their immediate family or community.
The yin and yang of greater oppression based on race, sexual preference, age, and gender alongside of the more acceptance of the richness that each of us brings to the table.
The role that children/young people play in the lives of the elders of the community whether that be in the board room, the classroom, the religious institutions or other venues.
Recently, on March 10, 2016, President Barack Obama and First lady Michelle Obama hosted a state dinner to honor Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and his wife Sophie Gregoire-Trudeau. The elegance and grace which accompanied this event may have brought to mind to some of we elders the youthful President Kennedy, his wife Jackie and their children Caroline and John Jr.. The presence of the 14 year old and 17 year old Obama daughters, Malia and Sasha, clearly reminded Mr. Trudeau of his own childhood when his father was prime minister of Canada. Prime Minister Trudeau seemed delighted by their presence and with the gathering which the President, his wife and, of course the White House staff had organized.
I was very interested in the public reaction to this event. Some of the reaction seem to focus on:
The poise and elegance of these two beautiful young women.
The fact that they were wearing designer gowns which cost $19,000.00 and $17,000.00 respectively. It was not reported whether these gowns were on loan, a gift, personally paid for by the taxpayers of the United States or by the President and his wife. Sadly, many assumed that they were just another lavish expense by a government official.
The fact that guests were expected to sit and converse with children.
Some veiled and not so veiled racist comments which, sadly have persisted during the Presidency of President Obama. It is interesting that on Saturday, the 12th of March, two days following the state dinner and one day after the violence which erupted at a political event in Chicago, the following occurred:
“The exchange was captured on Saturday. A male voice is heard saying: “Typical f—–‘ n—–.” Later in the exchange, another voice is heard saying, “Black lives matter, [unintelligible], f—–, n——.”
Chicago police spokesman Anthony Guglielmi said an investigation is underway to determine the origin of the comment.
“This morning, CPD was made aware of inappropriate transmission on a police frequency,” Guglielmi said in a statement.
A spokeswoman for the Office of Emergency Management and Communications says OEMC officials have reviewed the audio and don’t believe a city-programmed radio was used because the audio lacks the identifying characteristics of an official police radio…”(Chicago.cbs.local.com)
Sadly, it does not take much of an internet search on any given day to locate racial statements about President Obama. Although I do not believe that racism is a part of the core values of the majority of individuals in the United States, I do believe that for many of we humans it is easy to respond to our fear by discounting other individuals and groups. I also believe that the campaigns of all the presidential candidates have, to a more or lesser extent, attempted to capitalize on the fear of many of we voters in the United States. If our fear can be channeled to anger and even rage at other people or groups based on race, religious beliefs, age, sexual orientation or we can avoid dealing with our fear of not being successful enough, a good provider, a worthwhile community member or whatever we may be convinced to vote for a particular candidate. If someone else is always to blame – a black president, a child, an “illegal,” a religions group, or those representing a faction of a political party it can be temporarily comforting.
Personally I think I would have found the conversation at the State Dinner very invigorating. I think celebratory events honoring guests can be very important. Whether the venue is a Texas barbeque, an informal evening at Camp David, a gathering at a church hall, or a quickly prepared omelet at my house when honored guests unexpectedly stop by – an old friend, a person who may have first met as a client, a colleague, a homeless person who has been told I would feed them, or the teenagers – these gatherings are important rituals. If one does not want to stand out in a negative way, each venue will call for a certain costume. I do have many costumes in my closet including jeans and cowboy boots, a tuxedo with appropriate shirts, cummerbunds, ties and shoes, shorts and tee shirts and others. Although I am not convinced that the Obama daughters needed to wear such expensive costumes if I was a designer I would certainly give or loan gowns to them for such an occasion and charge it off to marketing knowing it was a bargain in marketing terms.
Once appropriately costumed I would hope that I could be seated next to one of the stimulating guests. Without knowing the complete guest list, I would have most enjoyed sitting next to the Obama daughters, the Prime Minister and his wife (I don’t think their young children were in attendance), or the Obamas. If I had to make a choice I probably would have chosen the Obama daughters, Malia and Sasha. My experience is, as my conversation with my six-year old and twelve-year old adopted niece and nephew often reveal, is that they are the individuals with whom I often have the most stimulating conversations. Yes, I know. There are those times with both adults and children/teenager are not very communicative. I have spent more than one evening with adults or children who have been more engrossed in their book, newspaper or smart phone than in a conversation with me. There have been times when kids and some adults who were more communicative in text messages than they were in person. Still, I know that if we adults are serious about leaving a safer, kinder world for our children, we need to talk to our children.
The other group of people from whom I have the most to learn are those whose fears and habits lead to opinions and even behavior which I personally find difficult to accept. This means that I need to spend a lot of time listening to those who make racist statements, to those who are fearful of those with religious beliefs which are different than mine, to those who support political candidates with who I strongly disagree, to those political candidates with whom I have the most disagreement.
When Margaret Hefferman is doing training of the staff of an organization, she might invite individuals to make the presentation for the person with whom they have the strongest disagreement or whose expertise is totally different. In some respects it may sound like the high school or college debating team. If I am forced to thoughtfully examine an opinion other than my own I will learn something. Always. I am not suggesting that I find this comfortable or easy. Sometimes I have to expend a lot of effort to quiet my loud mind which is internally shouting, “That opinion or position is stupid, immoral, or unkind.” Oh my! It is not always easy to quiet that part of my mind and as I age it does not get easier
The bottom line is that I can criticize and hurl arrogant sound bites to and about those with whom I disagree or I can learn to listen to their fears and hearts. I know fear. I can empathize with fear. I might disagree with their analysis of what is causing their fear, but I can easily identify with and love the person who is fearful.
I can also hold on to my belief that we can celebrate the enormous growth of spiritual presence.
I may not get invited to a state dinner anytime soon or ever but I will have many opportunities to prepare a feast who all who stop by to share this life journey. With silver, good china, paper plates or West Virginia Fiestaware dishes, we will kill the fatted calf and celebrate the fact that we are all family.
Written march 15, 2016
Every day I receive a number of email notices, various news letters or on line publications. Some of them would be considered politically liberal and some would be considered politically conservative. Some of those which are politically liberal might be very economically conservative. Many, in other words, discuss the issues on an issue by issue basis. During this past year or so, especially since the beginning of the presidential primary election campaign in the United States, I have received even more of these. I do not, of course, read them all since I also get spiritual newsletters and reminders, notices on new books, and many personal notes and/or comments about my blogs. Obviously there is just too much information to read and assimilate each day. As with all of us, I am a person who has some very particular concerns and interests. Currently, I am particularly cognizant of the following:
The extremism which is based in very narrow religious beliefs.
The enormous growth of spiritual practices in the world in the past few years. By this I am talking about the number of individuals who seem very intentional in thinking about their spiritual beliefs rather than just adopting those of their immediate family or community.
The yin and yang of greater oppression based on race, sexual preference, age, and gender alongside of the more acceptance of the richness that each of us brings to the table.
The role that children/young people play in the lives of the elders of the community whether that be in the board room, the classroom, the religious institutions or other venues.
Recently, on March 10, 2016, President Barack Obama and First lady Michelle Obama hosted a state dinner to honor Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and his wife Sophie Gregoire-Trudeau. The elegance and grace which accompanied this event may have brought to mind to some of we elders the youthful President Kennedy, his wife Jackie and their children Caroline and John Jr.. The presence of the 14 year old and 17 year old Obama daughters, Malia and Sasha, clearly reminded Mr. Trudeau of his own childhood when his father was prime minister of Canada. Prime Minister Trudeau seemed delighted by their presence and with the gathering which the President, his wife and, of course the White House staff had organized.
I was very interested in the public reaction to this event. Some of the reaction seem to focus on:
The poise and elegance of these two beautiful young women.
The fact that they were wearing designer gowns which cost $19,000.00 and $17,000.00 respectively. It was not reported whether these gowns were on loan, a gift, personally paid for by the taxpayers of the United States or by the President and his wife. Sadly, many assumed that they were just another lavish expense by a government official.
The fact that guests were expected to sit and converse with children.
Some veiled and not so veiled racist comments which, sadly have persisted during the Presidency of President Obama. It is interesting that on Saturday, the 12th of March, two days following the state dinner and one day after the violence which erupted at a political event in Chicago, the following occurred:
“The exchange was captured on Saturday. A male voice is heard saying: “Typical f—–‘ n—–.” Later in the exchange, another voice is heard saying, “Black lives matter, [unintelligible], f—–, n——.”
Chicago police spokesman Anthony Guglielmi said an investigation is underway to determine the origin of the comment.
“This morning, CPD was made aware of inappropriate transmission on a police frequency,” Guglielmi said in a statement.
A spokeswoman for the Office of Emergency Management and Communications says OEMC officials have reviewed the audio and don’t believe a city-programmed radio was used because the audio lacks the identifying characteristics of an official police radio…”(Chicago.cbs.local.com)
Sadly, it does not take much of an internet search on any given day to locate racial statements about President Obama. Although I do not believe that racism is a part of the core values of the majority of individuals in the United States, I do believe that for many of we humans it is easy to respond to our fear by discounting other individuals and groups. I also believe that the campaigns of all the presidential candidates have, to a more or lesser extent, attempted to capitalize on the fear of many of we voters in the United States. If our fear can be channeled to anger and even rage at other people or groups based on race, religious beliefs, age, sexual orientation or we can avoid dealing with our fear of not being successful enough, a good provider, a worthwhile community member or whatever we may be convinced to vote for a particular candidate. If someone else is always to blame – a black president, a child, an “illegal,” a religions group, or those representing a faction of a political party it can be temporarily comforting.
Personally I think I would have found the conversation at the State Dinner very invigorating. I think celebratory events honoring guests can be very important. Whether the venue is a Texas barbeque, an informal evening at Camp David, a gathering at a church hall, or a quickly prepared omelet at my house when honored guests unexpectedly stop by – an old friend, a person who may have first met as a client, a colleague, a homeless person who has been told I would feed them, or the teenagers – these gatherings are important rituals. If one does not want to stand out in a negative way, each venue will call for a certain costume. I do have many costumes in my closet including jeans and cowboy boots, a tuxedo with appropriate shirts, cummerbunds, ties and shoes, shorts and tee shirts and others. Although I am not convinced that the Obama daughters needed to wear such expensive costumes if I was a designer I would certainly give or loan gowns to them for such an occasion and charge it off to marketing knowing it was a bargain in marketing terms.
Once appropriately costumed I would hope that I could be seated next to one of the stimulating guests. Without knowing the complete guest list, I would have most enjoyed sitting next to the Obama daughters, the Prime Minister and his wife (I don’t think their young children were in attendance), or the Obamas. If I had to make a choice I probably would have chosen the Obama daughters, Malia and Sasha. My experience is, as my conversation with my six-year old and twelve-year old adopted niece and nephew often reveal, is that they are the individuals with whom I often have the most stimulating conversations. Yes, I know. There are those times with both adults and children/teenager are not very communicative. I have spent more than one evening with adults or children who have been more engrossed in their book, newspaper or smart phone than in a conversation with me. There have been times when kids and some adults who were more communicative in text messages than they were in person. Still, I know that if we adults are serious about leaving a safer, kinder world for our children, we need to talk to our children.
The other group of people from whom I have the most to learn are those whose fears and habits lead to opinions and even behavior which I personally find difficult to accept. This means that I need to spend a lot of time listening to those who make racist statements, to those who are fearful of those with religious beliefs which are different than mine, to those who support political candidates with who I strongly disagree, to those political candidates with whom I have the most disagreement.
When Margaret Hefferman is doing training of the staff of an organization, she might invite individuals to make the presentation for the person with whom they have the strongest disagreement or whose expertise is totally different. In some respects it may sound like the high school or college debating team. If I am forced to thoughtfully examine an opinion other than my own I will learn something. Always. I am not suggesting that I find this comfortable or easy. Sometimes I have to expend a lot of effort to quiet my loud mind which is internally shouting, “That opinion or position is stupid, immoral, or unkind.” Oh my! It is not always easy to quiet that part of my mind and as I age it does not get easier
The bottom line is that I can criticize and hurl arrogant sound bites to and about those with whom I disagree or I can learn to listen to their fears and hearts. I know fear. I can empathize with fear. I might disagree with their analysis of what is causing their fear, but I can easily identify with and love the person who is fearful.
I can also hold on to my belief that we can celebrate the enormous growth of spiritual presence.
I may not get invited to a state dinner anytime soon or ever but I will have many opportunities to prepare a feast who all who stop by to share this life journey. With silver, good china, paper plates or West Virginia Fiestaware dishes, we will kill the fatted calf and celebrate the fact that we are all family.
Written march 15, 2016
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