The language of decision making
Often when I am talking with clients for/with whom I am exploring how to design and achieve the life they want/deserve, I hear them saying,
“Well, I got busy with everyday life tasks and ended up not doing what I intended to do.” or “I quit going to meetings for recovery, talking to my spiritual advisor or paying attention to my partner.” or “My children needed me to attend ball games or other activities and there was no time to take care of myself.” What is missing is any recognition that they had the power to make decisions to put health care, including spiritual health care. and exercise a priority.. Often many feel as if life just took over or life just happened. Actually, the truth is we all make many decisions which have either positive or negative effects on our life.
My next questions usually are, “Did you own and write down this decisions and play them through? For example, did you write down, ‘I have decided that I can operate on empty gas tanks and achieve my goals of being a healthy person, father, worker and partner.”? “Did you call a friend who loves you enough to be honest with you and share what you have decided?” I might also ask if the person lives with others, especially children, “Did you write down on the family white board in the kitchen, ‘The family rule is to ignore filling emotional, spiritual, physical and spiritual gas tanks. No one in this family need be concerned with such self-serving behavior.”?
My experience is that once we are honest and open with ourselves and at least one other person that we trust with the decisions we are making about all pieces of health care we access that wiser voice within us. Trusted friends may also tap into their wise voice and lovingly ask, “Have you lost your mind?”
For those who have a higher power to whom they pray it is also important to be honest with that higher power, “God, I have it covered. Here is a one-way ticket to Caribbean vacation. Don’t worry about returning anytime soon. I will check in with you if I ever need you.”
It is easy for all of us to think that our bodies will stay healthy without any regular care; that our brains will make logical decisions consistent with our core values no matter what chemicals we ingest or take into our body even knowing that the brain and the rest of the body needs to be fed from the products of our intestinal manufacturing system.
Once one daily accepts the truth that all one’s decisions to do or not do affect all aspect of one’s health care and life, one discovers that one has a lot of power to set goals and priorities. Life events will still happen but we all have the power to decide how we will respond to those life events. We can respond from the core values we would recommend to all we love or we can respond from a place of immediate gratification, comfort, or the avoidance of fear and discomfort.
Life does just show up. How we face life is based on our decisions. We need to use language which acknowledge that our core values are in charge. None of us can afford to be complacent about this process. We are all human and can create a life dance of which we can be proud or we can accept that it is easy to get off track if we do not daily decide to fill our emotional, spiritual, and physical gas tanks. We can invite others we trust to support us in our goal to make healthy decisions. If we have a higher power or a belief in a higher power we might send him/her/it a return plane ticket.
Written May 22, 2019
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
Often when I am talking with clients for/with whom I am exploring how to design and achieve the life they want/deserve, I hear them saying,
“Well, I got busy with everyday life tasks and ended up not doing what I intended to do.” or “I quit going to meetings for recovery, talking to my spiritual advisor or paying attention to my partner.” or “My children needed me to attend ball games or other activities and there was no time to take care of myself.” What is missing is any recognition that they had the power to make decisions to put health care, including spiritual health care. and exercise a priority.. Often many feel as if life just took over or life just happened. Actually, the truth is we all make many decisions which have either positive or negative effects on our life.
My next questions usually are, “Did you own and write down this decisions and play them through? For example, did you write down, ‘I have decided that I can operate on empty gas tanks and achieve my goals of being a healthy person, father, worker and partner.”? “Did you call a friend who loves you enough to be honest with you and share what you have decided?” I might also ask if the person lives with others, especially children, “Did you write down on the family white board in the kitchen, ‘The family rule is to ignore filling emotional, spiritual, physical and spiritual gas tanks. No one in this family need be concerned with such self-serving behavior.”?
My experience is that once we are honest and open with ourselves and at least one other person that we trust with the decisions we are making about all pieces of health care we access that wiser voice within us. Trusted friends may also tap into their wise voice and lovingly ask, “Have you lost your mind?”
For those who have a higher power to whom they pray it is also important to be honest with that higher power, “God, I have it covered. Here is a one-way ticket to Caribbean vacation. Don’t worry about returning anytime soon. I will check in with you if I ever need you.”
It is easy for all of us to think that our bodies will stay healthy without any regular care; that our brains will make logical decisions consistent with our core values no matter what chemicals we ingest or take into our body even knowing that the brain and the rest of the body needs to be fed from the products of our intestinal manufacturing system.
Once one daily accepts the truth that all one’s decisions to do or not do affect all aspect of one’s health care and life, one discovers that one has a lot of power to set goals and priorities. Life events will still happen but we all have the power to decide how we will respond to those life events. We can respond from the core values we would recommend to all we love or we can respond from a place of immediate gratification, comfort, or the avoidance of fear and discomfort.
Life does just show up. How we face life is based on our decisions. We need to use language which acknowledge that our core values are in charge. None of us can afford to be complacent about this process. We are all human and can create a life dance of which we can be proud or we can accept that it is easy to get off track if we do not daily decide to fill our emotional, spiritual, and physical gas tanks. We can invite others we trust to support us in our goal to make healthy decisions. If we have a higher power or a belief in a higher power we might send him/her/it a return plane ticket.
Written May 22, 2019
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
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