Blog- August 29, 2014
The Language of Healing
Language has always been a favorite subject of mine; how it is used or not used to communicate with others and with ourselves.
It is curious that, at some level, we are aware of talking to ourselves, but seldom seem to be intentional about what the “I” says to the other parts of self. Another way of saying this is that we do not ”hear” our internal conversation. Often my work as a coach or therapist is to simply actively reflect back to the other person what I hear him or her saying.
We humans often seem unable to remember that the words we use act as directives from the brain; instruction as to how the rest of the body will function. We may, for example label something as “terrible” rather than a nuisance. If we label an event as terrible we send a messages to the body to focus our energy on reacting to this “terrible” event. The body is now tensing up to fight or protect itself from this event or situation we have labeled as terrible. If we hold that position for any length of time, the body becomes acutely stressed. We may begin to experience physical symptoms of that stress. If this happens with any regularity, we may then go to the doctor who prescribes medication for the symptoms. That medication may help, but if we keep labeling events as terrible we keep repeating the process until our body begin to break down to such an extent that it cannot repair itself.
It is also important to remember that the body is constantly sending signals/messages to the brain which the brain then uses to decide what orders to give the body. Simply, it is an interactional system.
There is no denying that some events are very sad or require immediate action. For example, if I notice that the house is on fire, it is important that that I and others are out of the house as quickly as possible. We must also call the fire department if we are in a geographical area where that is an option. Is this a crisis? No. Is it a nuisance? Yes. Is it sad? Yes! It is especially sad if I have lost all family photos and/or if I have no insurance and no money to rent or buy another place. One could give many other examples of events or situations which require quick action but which we do not need to label as terrible or as a crisis.
We all know people who experience much of their life as one ongoing crisis after another. If one suggests to these people that just relabeling events as a nuisance will have a significant impact on one’s physical, emotional and spiritual health, those same persons may be highly offended because they think we are discounting their symptoms.
Throughout my professional career I have often wondered why some people can endure events such as combat and stay relatively healthy. Others experience events which were , in my mind, much less stressful and end up very unhealthy. What is the difference? The difference seems to be how folks label events and whether they focus only on the negatives. Soldiers, nurses, doctors and others who end up emotionally scarred, but relatively healthy consistently report: (1) they do not use drugs or alcohol to relax since that would put them at more risk since they might not be able to respond to a situation which requires immediate action; and (2) when they have a moment they take time to experience a sunset, a moment with a friend, a letter or email from home, a decent meal or something else positive/enjoyable.
It is interesting and noteworthy that every major spiritual program or system talks about the need to practice being present in the moment without all the labeling or chatter in our brain. The more we are able to just be present and to respond in a calm, rational manner, the more we will feel at peace and, not surprisingly, the better our physical health.
I suggest that all of us be more aware of how we are labeling ourselves and events which we encounter. If we notice that we are labeling in a negative manner much of the time then we might experiment with simply changing the label. We may not notice any immediate significant change in how we feel, but I can promise you that, over time, you will notice that life is more enjoyable and that your body is giving you fewer signals that it is overworked or over stressed.
A friend and colleague of mine, Dr. Becky Johnen (check out our blog) who is graciously acting as a proofreader and editor for the blog articles questioned whether I needed to give an example of what event or situation would constitute a crisis. Crisis is a Greek word “krisis” which generally defined as “any event which is expected to lead to an unstable or dangerous situation affecting an individual, group, community or whole society.” (Wiktionary) In another place crisis is defined as “a situation of a complex system when the system requires immediate action but the causes of the dysfunction are not known”. When we do not know the cause of a situation it is difficult to formulate a plan of action. We humans like the illusion of believing that we have a modicum of control and can predict that if action A is taken it will result in B. For example if I regularly have my car serviced I am not likely to have a breakdown or if I get regular health checkups and take care of myself I am not likely to be surprised by some advanced stage of an illness. Certainly, there is value in doing preventive care whether it is to a house, person, or machine such as a car. On the other hand, no amount of preventive action will guarantee that I will never have to deal with a situation which was not expected.
Technically the word crisis is a perfectly appropriate and useful term to use to describe certain situations. The problem arises because of our history of getting anxious or going into panic mode when we label an event or situation as a crisis.
From a mental health and a spiritual perspective I know or believe that I will get through whatever situation presents itself. I will formulate some response even if the response is to get away from the situation. As I look back over my 74 years of life I cannot think of any situation or event with which I did not cope. At the time of the event or situation I might have become very anxious and felt as if I could not cope or something terrible would happen if I could repair or fix a situation. The truth is I got through all of them and I am sitting here typing. Certainly, I have made decisions which had many negative consequences, but I always learned something. My spiritual teacher suggests that I practice just noticing what I am observing with myself. If a term I use causes anxiety or other symptoms of extreme stress then I may want to just notice my action and consider stopping the chatter. The chatter is often something on the order of, “This is terrible. I cannot deal with this. Something terrible will happen if I do not make the right decision.” If I simply notice the situation or my reaction to it without any of the labeling or chatter I can then make the best possible decision about how to react to it. I know, however, if I get so stressed or anxious that I cannot think clearly I will not be able to make a decision. Obviously, I want to be alert enough to be present and notice the situation without becoming acutely anxious or panicky.
In future blogs I will explore in more detail how labeling affects the various parts of the body. For now, the suggestion is to be simply a little more aware of how each of us uses labels. The goal is not to label ourselves for labeling, but simply to notice, without judgment, how often we use positive or negative labels.
The Language of Healing
Language has always been a favorite subject of mine; how it is used or not used to communicate with others and with ourselves.
It is curious that, at some level, we are aware of talking to ourselves, but seldom seem to be intentional about what the “I” says to the other parts of self. Another way of saying this is that we do not ”hear” our internal conversation. Often my work as a coach or therapist is to simply actively reflect back to the other person what I hear him or her saying.
We humans often seem unable to remember that the words we use act as directives from the brain; instruction as to how the rest of the body will function. We may, for example label something as “terrible” rather than a nuisance. If we label an event as terrible we send a messages to the body to focus our energy on reacting to this “terrible” event. The body is now tensing up to fight or protect itself from this event or situation we have labeled as terrible. If we hold that position for any length of time, the body becomes acutely stressed. We may begin to experience physical symptoms of that stress. If this happens with any regularity, we may then go to the doctor who prescribes medication for the symptoms. That medication may help, but if we keep labeling events as terrible we keep repeating the process until our body begin to break down to such an extent that it cannot repair itself.
It is also important to remember that the body is constantly sending signals/messages to the brain which the brain then uses to decide what orders to give the body. Simply, it is an interactional system.
There is no denying that some events are very sad or require immediate action. For example, if I notice that the house is on fire, it is important that that I and others are out of the house as quickly as possible. We must also call the fire department if we are in a geographical area where that is an option. Is this a crisis? No. Is it a nuisance? Yes. Is it sad? Yes! It is especially sad if I have lost all family photos and/or if I have no insurance and no money to rent or buy another place. One could give many other examples of events or situations which require quick action but which we do not need to label as terrible or as a crisis.
We all know people who experience much of their life as one ongoing crisis after another. If one suggests to these people that just relabeling events as a nuisance will have a significant impact on one’s physical, emotional and spiritual health, those same persons may be highly offended because they think we are discounting their symptoms.
Throughout my professional career I have often wondered why some people can endure events such as combat and stay relatively healthy. Others experience events which were , in my mind, much less stressful and end up very unhealthy. What is the difference? The difference seems to be how folks label events and whether they focus only on the negatives. Soldiers, nurses, doctors and others who end up emotionally scarred, but relatively healthy consistently report: (1) they do not use drugs or alcohol to relax since that would put them at more risk since they might not be able to respond to a situation which requires immediate action; and (2) when they have a moment they take time to experience a sunset, a moment with a friend, a letter or email from home, a decent meal or something else positive/enjoyable.
It is interesting and noteworthy that every major spiritual program or system talks about the need to practice being present in the moment without all the labeling or chatter in our brain. The more we are able to just be present and to respond in a calm, rational manner, the more we will feel at peace and, not surprisingly, the better our physical health.
I suggest that all of us be more aware of how we are labeling ourselves and events which we encounter. If we notice that we are labeling in a negative manner much of the time then we might experiment with simply changing the label. We may not notice any immediate significant change in how we feel, but I can promise you that, over time, you will notice that life is more enjoyable and that your body is giving you fewer signals that it is overworked or over stressed.
A friend and colleague of mine, Dr. Becky Johnen (check out our blog) who is graciously acting as a proofreader and editor for the blog articles questioned whether I needed to give an example of what event or situation would constitute a crisis. Crisis is a Greek word “krisis” which generally defined as “any event which is expected to lead to an unstable or dangerous situation affecting an individual, group, community or whole society.” (Wiktionary) In another place crisis is defined as “a situation of a complex system when the system requires immediate action but the causes of the dysfunction are not known”. When we do not know the cause of a situation it is difficult to formulate a plan of action. We humans like the illusion of believing that we have a modicum of control and can predict that if action A is taken it will result in B. For example if I regularly have my car serviced I am not likely to have a breakdown or if I get regular health checkups and take care of myself I am not likely to be surprised by some advanced stage of an illness. Certainly, there is value in doing preventive care whether it is to a house, person, or machine such as a car. On the other hand, no amount of preventive action will guarantee that I will never have to deal with a situation which was not expected.
Technically the word crisis is a perfectly appropriate and useful term to use to describe certain situations. The problem arises because of our history of getting anxious or going into panic mode when we label an event or situation as a crisis.
From a mental health and a spiritual perspective I know or believe that I will get through whatever situation presents itself. I will formulate some response even if the response is to get away from the situation. As I look back over my 74 years of life I cannot think of any situation or event with which I did not cope. At the time of the event or situation I might have become very anxious and felt as if I could not cope or something terrible would happen if I could repair or fix a situation. The truth is I got through all of them and I am sitting here typing. Certainly, I have made decisions which had many negative consequences, but I always learned something. My spiritual teacher suggests that I practice just noticing what I am observing with myself. If a term I use causes anxiety or other symptoms of extreme stress then I may want to just notice my action and consider stopping the chatter. The chatter is often something on the order of, “This is terrible. I cannot deal with this. Something terrible will happen if I do not make the right decision.” If I simply notice the situation or my reaction to it without any of the labeling or chatter I can then make the best possible decision about how to react to it. I know, however, if I get so stressed or anxious that I cannot think clearly I will not be able to make a decision. Obviously, I want to be alert enough to be present and notice the situation without becoming acutely anxious or panicky.
In future blogs I will explore in more detail how labeling affects the various parts of the body. For now, the suggestion is to be simply a little more aware of how each of us uses labels. The goal is not to label ourselves for labeling, but simply to notice, without judgment, how often we use positive or negative labels.
RSS Feed