The log in my eye.
Early this morning I was listening to a man I know talk with another man. They were lamenting the fact that so many people “on welfare” live so well; people who are perfectly capable of working.” They were suggesting that most people getting assistance are a lazy or on drugs or in some other way are irresponsible, leeches forcing hard working people to take care of them. The man I know and the other person suggested that hopefully the current President of these United States could help to remedy this situation.
I did not attempt to argue with either of these men. Since it as a public place where the one person had to leave and the other was often interrupted with other work duties, it was not a situation which invited a debate or conversation. I choose to listen and to do my best to not assign labels to either person. I know the one man who owns the small business where I was present is an enormously kind man. I also know that he works very hard. As is often true with small business owners he works alongside of the few people who work for/with him. He often talks lovingly of his family and talks of praying for family members if they are dealing with some sad or difficult situation. I have never seen him mistreat anyone or even talk unkindly to anyone. He has always treated me with love and respect.
The other man indicated that he was also a small business owner He lamented that he also often works long hours. This is true for many of us who own and operate a small business.
Once again I was forced to attempt to look at a situation from the viewpoint of another person. What is that they observe when seeing someone who is using food stamps (which they mentioned) or reveals that they are getting some sort of assistance? They may see a person(s) who:
In other words, they are seeing a very limited slice of the individual(s) and their life. They may not be seeing:
In short whether one is looking at the persons talking about “those people on welfare or receiving assistance” or those persons receiving assistance we are not seeing their entire story. We are seeing the story we impose on them based on the limited slice of their life that we are able to see. It is not until we have an opportunity to see a larger slice of the life of an individual that one can begin to have a rational, empathetic discussion.
If I am not careful, I will, as I have previously mentioned, judge and assign labels to those I perceive or hear as judgmental. I may fail to acknowledge that I am seeing only a slice of their story. I may fail to notice that:
In short even when I know some of a person’s story there is always a lot I do not know. What they are expressing does not tell what Paul Harvey used to call “the rest of the story”.
It is easy for this human to fall into the trap of judging others based on the rose colored or dark tinted glasses I have on any particular day. I may feel like I am seeing the entire reality but I am only seeing a small slice of that reality.
It has been said by a very wise man that one might want to take the log out of one’s own eye before seeing clearly enough to take the speck from the eye of my brother.
I have again been reminded that I am often guilty to doing what I accuse others of doing. Perhaps I can now look my brother (or sister) in the eye and have a genuine, compassionate discussion. At least I can better prepare myself to do that.
Written September 13, 2017
The log in my eye.
Early this morning I was listening to a man I know talk with another man. They were lamenting the fact that so many people “on welfare” live so well; people who are perfectly capable of working.” They were suggesting that most people getting assistance are a lazy or on drugs or in some other way are irresponsible, leeches forcing hard working people to take care of them. The man I know and the other person suggested that hopefully the current President of these United States could help to remedy this situation.
I did not attempt to argue with either of these men. Since it as a public place where the one person had to leave and the other was often interrupted with other work duties, it was not a situation which invited a debate or conversation. I choose to listen and to do my best to not assign labels to either person. I know the one man who owns the small business where I was present is an enormously kind man. I also know that he works very hard. As is often true with small business owners he works alongside of the few people who work for/with him. He often talks lovingly of his family and talks of praying for family members if they are dealing with some sad or difficult situation. I have never seen him mistreat anyone or even talk unkindly to anyone. He has always treated me with love and respect.
The other man indicated that he was also a small business owner He lamented that he also often works long hours. This is true for many of us who own and operate a small business.
Once again I was forced to attempt to look at a situation from the viewpoint of another person. What is that they observe when seeing someone who is using food stamps (which they mentioned) or reveals that they are getting some sort of assistance? They may see a person(s) who:
- Appears to be very abled bodied and able to work.
- Is purchasing what some call “luxury/non-essential items” with their food stamps.
- Is living in a house which seems to be very nice and might, in fact be nicer than the one which the observer owns or rents.
- Someone who the observer is working long, exhausting hours to help support.
In other words, they are seeing a very limited slice of the individual(s) and their life. They may not be seeing:
- The fact that for many of disability or receiving assistance their ability to be functional is not consistent. They may be able to function pretty well for short, intermittent period of time. They may not be able to predict when or if they are going to be able to function physically, mentally or emotionally.
- One cannot buy certain essentials with their food stamps – essentials such as toilet paper, gas, and soap - and are forced to sell their food stamps to have the cash to buy these products.
- The fact that the person may have an illness such as addiction, depression or some other chronic illness for which they have attempted to get treatment on many occasions or for which they are currently being treated.
- They may be working a minimum wage job which does not cover the basic expenses for their them and their families.
- They may have been laid off from a very well-paying job and have not been able to find another which pays decently. The nice house and car were purchased when they were working on their former job. They cannot sell the house or the car for what it is worth and if they did they would not have the money to purchase a less expensive house or car.
In short whether one is looking at the persons talking about “those people on welfare or receiving assistance” or those persons receiving assistance we are not seeing their entire story. We are seeing the story we impose on them based on the limited slice of their life that we are able to see. It is not until we have an opportunity to see a larger slice of the life of an individual that one can begin to have a rational, empathetic discussion.
If I am not careful, I will, as I have previously mentioned, judge and assign labels to those I perceive or hear as judgmental. I may fail to acknowledge that I am seeing only a slice of their story. I may fail to notice that:
- They have pushed themselves until they are operating on fumes. They have, in other words, used up all their available energy and feels as if any moment they might have to just give up.
- They may be taking care of individuals with a mental or addictive illness and have no understanding of why that person just cannot do what they need to do take care of themselves.
- They may be fearful that they are getting mentally ill or are abusing alcohol or some other drug.
- They may be very other reasons why they are feeling unappreciated and “always the one taking care of others”.
In short even when I know some of a person’s story there is always a lot I do not know. What they are expressing does not tell what Paul Harvey used to call “the rest of the story”.
It is easy for this human to fall into the trap of judging others based on the rose colored or dark tinted glasses I have on any particular day. I may feel like I am seeing the entire reality but I am only seeing a small slice of that reality.
It has been said by a very wise man that one might want to take the log out of one’s own eye before seeing clearly enough to take the speck from the eye of my brother.
I have again been reminded that I am often guilty to doing what I accuse others of doing. Perhaps I can now look my brother (or sister) in the eye and have a genuine, compassionate discussion. At least I can better prepare myself to do that.
Written September 13, 2017
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