The lure of immediate or instant gratification
We live in a world where it is easy to succumb to the lure of immediate or instant gratification. One of the chief attractions of substance use and abuse is that one can either become numb to discomfort or, for a short time, feel better. Whether one is using a drug such as an opioid, alcohol or marijuana, driving out the BMW showroom in a shiny new car with all the bells and whistles, wearing yet another new outfit or being serviced sexually by another person one feels better temporarily. Many of us have come to expect to avoid discomfort by acting as if we are the center of the universe. When the electricity works, the system delivers instant heat or air conditioning, the faucet delivers clean, safe water, the refrigerator keeps food at a safe temperature and even delivers ice cubes on demand our lives are more comfortable. It is wonderful to go to the grocery store and find the shelves and the bins filled with a wide variety of food products. It is not difficult to understand why we so easily begin to feel is all these products are now necessities. Even when camping we may expect luxuries which were formerly only available in the wealthiest of homes.
Yet, many of us tell ourselves that we do not understand how so many people fall victim to the disease of addiction people, places, things and substances. If our attachments are not causing immediate and obvious damages to ourselves and others then we convince ourselves that we are not like those addicts. The fact that making money to buy more things or have access to more means of immediate gratification even If it means not being available to our families emotionally and spiritually is not the same as what the drug addicts are doing. We are not “robbing Peter to pay Paul” when we are taking expensive vacations or indulging in other luxuries if we have debt that is due, past due, or for which we are paying an exorbitant amount of interest.
We tell ourselves that we can do can ignore spiritual chores without risking spiritual bankruptcy. There is, in fact, no end to the lies or partial truths we tell ourselves order to reward ourselves with some temporary pleasure or numbness.
As long as there are no crisis situations we continue to indulge in behavior which we know – at some level – is very likely to lead to a crisis situation.
Playing the tape through requires what the 12-step program calls the HOW of spiritual recovery/growth: honesty, open mindedness and willingness. Some part of us almost always knows that eventually action A leads to result B which leads to action C which leads to result D which leads to … We may tell ourselves and others that we don’t care. We want what we want when we want it. We deserve to feel good this moment. The truth often is that we may get some temporary pleasure or even joy. We may have a temporary reprieve from some sad or uncomfortable situation. Yet, if we fail to play the tape through we will not face the fact that long term we either die or have to face the consequences of our decisions- of our failure to play the tape through. We may even hope for death rather than facing the consequences of our decisions. Yet, often, we awake to find that we have not died and rather than playing the tape through we have, once again, lived the tape to the end.
Even if we are not in a 12-step program or do not have a therapist or spiritual advisor we can find someone who will respect and love us enough to guide us in playing the tape through. A true friend does that with and for us.
Written September 25, 2018
We live in a world where it is easy to succumb to the lure of immediate or instant gratification. One of the chief attractions of substance use and abuse is that one can either become numb to discomfort or, for a short time, feel better. Whether one is using a drug such as an opioid, alcohol or marijuana, driving out the BMW showroom in a shiny new car with all the bells and whistles, wearing yet another new outfit or being serviced sexually by another person one feels better temporarily. Many of us have come to expect to avoid discomfort by acting as if we are the center of the universe. When the electricity works, the system delivers instant heat or air conditioning, the faucet delivers clean, safe water, the refrigerator keeps food at a safe temperature and even delivers ice cubes on demand our lives are more comfortable. It is wonderful to go to the grocery store and find the shelves and the bins filled with a wide variety of food products. It is not difficult to understand why we so easily begin to feel is all these products are now necessities. Even when camping we may expect luxuries which were formerly only available in the wealthiest of homes.
Yet, many of us tell ourselves that we do not understand how so many people fall victim to the disease of addiction people, places, things and substances. If our attachments are not causing immediate and obvious damages to ourselves and others then we convince ourselves that we are not like those addicts. The fact that making money to buy more things or have access to more means of immediate gratification even If it means not being available to our families emotionally and spiritually is not the same as what the drug addicts are doing. We are not “robbing Peter to pay Paul” when we are taking expensive vacations or indulging in other luxuries if we have debt that is due, past due, or for which we are paying an exorbitant amount of interest.
We tell ourselves that we can do can ignore spiritual chores without risking spiritual bankruptcy. There is, in fact, no end to the lies or partial truths we tell ourselves order to reward ourselves with some temporary pleasure or numbness.
As long as there are no crisis situations we continue to indulge in behavior which we know – at some level – is very likely to lead to a crisis situation.
Playing the tape through requires what the 12-step program calls the HOW of spiritual recovery/growth: honesty, open mindedness and willingness. Some part of us almost always knows that eventually action A leads to result B which leads to action C which leads to result D which leads to … We may tell ourselves and others that we don’t care. We want what we want when we want it. We deserve to feel good this moment. The truth often is that we may get some temporary pleasure or even joy. We may have a temporary reprieve from some sad or uncomfortable situation. Yet, if we fail to play the tape through we will not face the fact that long term we either die or have to face the consequences of our decisions- of our failure to play the tape through. We may even hope for death rather than facing the consequences of our decisions. Yet, often, we awake to find that we have not died and rather than playing the tape through we have, once again, lived the tape to the end.
Even if we are not in a 12-step program or do not have a therapist or spiritual advisor we can find someone who will respect and love us enough to guide us in playing the tape through. A true friend does that with and for us.
Written September 25, 2018
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