The blog today is my assignment for the writing circle for February. The instruction was to write about a mystery we had experienced.
The mystery of the blind date
At the time my friend Jane talked me into the blind date I thought, why not? How bad can it be? It is only for coffee. I can make an excuse and leave if he is too obnoxious. I was not worried that he might be ugly. Although I can be as shallow as the next person, some of my best dates have been with men whose packaging was artfully arranged by the local cement mixer. There was in fact, Billy. Consider: Hair left to seek its fortune in four different directions, clothes rescued from the berry juice drunk adrift on a South Sea island for the past 25 years and the molecules of his body jammed into a skin which was determined to follow the lead of the hair. One never knows what lies beneath such “interesting” packaging. Until Billy decided he was called to study the effects of a three-year silent retreat – sans spiritual director – we had great fun. Each date was like a peek into a new world of imaginative sensory delights. Even his voice was uniquely designed solely for the duration of the date.
So this memory prodded me into saying yes to Jane. The next day she called and confirmed that I would be meeting Jeremy at the Hail Mary Full Moon coffee shop. I kid you not. I must admit just the mention of the name of the coffee shop left me feeling alternately intrigued and wondering if I should arrange for a post date visit with the local exorcist. Yet, I reminded myself that I was free to make an excuse and leave while feigning a grave and contagious illness.
Just to be on the safe side the day of the date I dressed in all black and hung the 8 inch cast iron cross around my neck before setting off for the Hail Mary Full Moon coffee shop. I arrive a bit early, got my plain, black coffee and assumed a defensive position facing the door and close to the unisex restroom. I eyed every single person entering the shop.
Oh my God! Could that easily 6’5” linebacker in 5-inch heels, pink nail polish and a perfect Baby Jane face be Jeremy? Fortunately this creature quickly took up residence with a woman sitting at the next table. She jumped up to fetch his coffee with no apparent communication.
Well, so much for being completely open minded and free of prejudices. Oh well. I may need to go on my own spiritual cleansing journey.
Just as I am about to set my personal controls for a preemptive flight in walks Jane and three of my other friends none of which is a guy. After getting their lattes they join me at the table, which has been clearly reserved for Jeremy! I am sure that they are there to grade my reaction when the elusive Jeremy finally arrives.
“So”, I ask, “Where is this Jeremy? “ Jane sheepishly replies, “There is no Jeremy or rather I am Jeremy or I will be as soon as I get my surgery. I hope you are not mad. I was so tired of waiting for you to figure out that I have had a crush on you since the day we met.”
I do not know what I feel. Jane is my oldest, dearest friend. The future is a mystery shrouded in layers to be sensuously and carefully unwrapped.
580 words
Written February 1, 2018
The mystery of the blind date
At the time my friend Jane talked me into the blind date I thought, why not? How bad can it be? It is only for coffee. I can make an excuse and leave if he is too obnoxious. I was not worried that he might be ugly. Although I can be as shallow as the next person, some of my best dates have been with men whose packaging was artfully arranged by the local cement mixer. There was in fact, Billy. Consider: Hair left to seek its fortune in four different directions, clothes rescued from the berry juice drunk adrift on a South Sea island for the past 25 years and the molecules of his body jammed into a skin which was determined to follow the lead of the hair. One never knows what lies beneath such “interesting” packaging. Until Billy decided he was called to study the effects of a three-year silent retreat – sans spiritual director – we had great fun. Each date was like a peek into a new world of imaginative sensory delights. Even his voice was uniquely designed solely for the duration of the date.
So this memory prodded me into saying yes to Jane. The next day she called and confirmed that I would be meeting Jeremy at the Hail Mary Full Moon coffee shop. I kid you not. I must admit just the mention of the name of the coffee shop left me feeling alternately intrigued and wondering if I should arrange for a post date visit with the local exorcist. Yet, I reminded myself that I was free to make an excuse and leave while feigning a grave and contagious illness.
Just to be on the safe side the day of the date I dressed in all black and hung the 8 inch cast iron cross around my neck before setting off for the Hail Mary Full Moon coffee shop. I arrive a bit early, got my plain, black coffee and assumed a defensive position facing the door and close to the unisex restroom. I eyed every single person entering the shop.
Oh my God! Could that easily 6’5” linebacker in 5-inch heels, pink nail polish and a perfect Baby Jane face be Jeremy? Fortunately this creature quickly took up residence with a woman sitting at the next table. She jumped up to fetch his coffee with no apparent communication.
Well, so much for being completely open minded and free of prejudices. Oh well. I may need to go on my own spiritual cleansing journey.
Just as I am about to set my personal controls for a preemptive flight in walks Jane and three of my other friends none of which is a guy. After getting their lattes they join me at the table, which has been clearly reserved for Jeremy! I am sure that they are there to grade my reaction when the elusive Jeremy finally arrives.
“So”, I ask, “Where is this Jeremy? “ Jane sheepishly replies, “There is no Jeremy or rather I am Jeremy or I will be as soon as I get my surgery. I hope you are not mad. I was so tired of waiting for you to figure out that I have had a crush on you since the day we met.”
I do not know what I feel. Jane is my oldest, dearest friend. The future is a mystery shrouded in layers to be sensuously and carefully unwrapped.
580 words
Written February 1, 2018
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