The Next Right Thing

​The Next Right Thing
 
I often hear myself saying to clients, myself and others, “Just do the next right thing.”  In theory, I frequently know what action to take if I want to be true to the values which I say that I strive to follow.  I do believe that wise teachers including Jesus, the Buddha and others were on to something when they suggested:
 

• Turn the other cheek.
• Love unconditionally.
• Love your enemy.
• Follow your heart.
• Do not allow others to dictate your behavior.
• Do not react, act.
• Give and do not expect anything in return, that is what lies at the heart of love.  (Oscar Wilde)
• The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them. (Thomas Merton)
• The goal is to let go of attachments.
• Let he who is without sin throw the first stone.
• You can only keep it by giving it away. (frequently heard in the rooms of the 12-step recovery program).

 
Yet, I have also head from other teachers:
 

• There are times when it is moral for a Christian to be violent.
• Justice sometimes demand tough decision.
• You have to stand up to a bully or he/she will just keep bullying.
• One makes moral decision based on the greater good for the greater number.
• It is just to punish the criminal or those who hurt others.
• There is evil and it is a moral imperative to stand up to evil.
• If someone rapes or otherwise harms your partner or your child you need to stand your ground even if it means killing the perpetrator of the violence.
• We are not gods and cannot be held to the same standards.
• An eye for an eye.

 
 
This list is, of course, is just a sample of the opinions of some of us humans about how we should behave.   If one googles types of justice one gets at a minimum:
 

• Commutative justice
• Distributive justice.
• Open justice
• Organizational justice
• Poetic justice
• Restorative justice
• Retributive justice
• Social justice

 
Clearly there are many possible opinions and beliefs about what it means for individuals and the community to do the next right thing.  If one is to thoughtfully and intentionally attempt to do the next right thing, one cannot be weak, fragile or feign of heart.  
 
This week I, as were most people, confronted with various situations which demanded some decision and action by the community. These include:
 

• A young person was murdered in the midst of a crime to steal to feed someone’s addiction.
• A person was murdered in a fit of passion.
• A person drove a vehicle while impaired and caused an accident which killed three people.
• A doctor sold prescription pain medications to feed his own addictions – power and/or drugs.
• A young child was sexually assaulted.
• Bombs were dropped from planes killing so called civilians and those assigned the label of enemy.
• The partner of a friend did something which violated the heart of their agreement.
• Someone was arrested for having child pornography on their computer.
• A man transported people attempting to come into the United states without a legal visa in a truck without air conditioning.  Ten people died.
• A president of a country with whom the United States has a historic friendly relationship encourages vigilante groups to kills those addicted to drugs and those selling drugs.

 
The list of ways that us human hurt each other is as endless as the list of the ways in which us humans are kind to each other.
 
The older I get the more I am forced to accept that life is over in a flash and, as I wrote, the other day, all we own is our integrity. Every day – sometimes every hour – I must decide the legacy I want to leave in the few seconds of this life journey.
 
Every day I am in danger of handing out Pollyanna sounds bites of advice or recommendations.  Well, that is not accurate.  Every day I hand out Pollyanna sound bites of advice.  Despite the fact that I may believe what I am advising, sometimes I must sound like a cold-hearted robot.  Without any attempt to list a fraction of the sound bites I have thrown out with apparent aplomb this week I can think of the following instances:
 

• None of us are in a place to judge who is the bigger sinner. Before you decide to end that relationship consider giving her and it another chance.
• Yes, help her no matter what how she has treated you.  It is the right thing to do.
• Love your addicted, adult child unconditionally.  Focus on removing the log from your eye.
• Ignore your feelings and do what is recommended.
• No matter what you do, do with love.

 
It might seem at times as if I have completely missed the fact that we are all human. Someone will suggest, “We are not Gods or saints. Come on. That person is just evil and deserves to be treated as evil.”
 
Once again I am reminded that it is easy for me to forgot the number of times that I have wanted someone to suffer for how much they have hurt me; the number of times I wanted to have a “coming to Jesus” talk with someone from my very self-righteous stance.   It is my goal to do the next right thing.  Sometimes I do think I know what that entails– at least for me.  Sometimes I have no idea.  Sometimes what I posit as a theory does not seem to work in real life.  Sometimes, my emotions rule and the result is not kind or pretty.  Sometimes the distance between what the legacy I want to leave and the one I do leave is very significant. 
 
Yes, I know that tomorrow I will again remind myself to strive to the next right thing.  Using all my external and internal resources I will make decisions, take actions, and pray that I have, on occasion, really done the next right thing.
 
It seems that this is the best I can do for today.
 
Written July 27, 2017