The power of the lie(s)
From the moment, one is born one begins to accumulate “truths” about oneself and the world. Some believe and some studies seem to confirm that one may even began to learn “truths” whileo one is still in the womb.
Most of one’s early truths are dependent on one’s immediate environment which may be quite small. A parent or parents, possibly grandparents, other relatives, sometimes siblings, peers as one grows and the general environmental which comprises one‘s world are the source of these truths or at least the truths one thinks one is hearing or experiencing. One may also enter this life journey with or without some parts of one’s brain which facilitate the development of one’s sense of worth, belongingness (to a tribe) and ability to begin to learn to function in this world.
Sadly, either one is not told or one is told before one has the ability to comprehend, that one needs to question all these truths. As a result, one may decide one’s worth and much of one’s behavior based on these unexamined truths. Some of these truths may be:
If one is lucky, at some point in time, one realizes that one has the power to question all these truths. One can then hire a therapist, find a trusted mentor, a 12-step program, or a spiritual guide to help one identify and closely exam these so-called truths. One will find that many of them are lies. Once one determines which ones are lies one can articulate new truths and then go about the very tedious process of practicing these new truths until they are a habitual way of thinking. This is, of course, an ongoing process which we will be doing rest of one’s lives. Every day, if one is lucky, one identifies a new lie that has been restricting one’s lives and a new truth which can enlarge one’s life.
Sometimes the first indication that one is living a significant portion of one’s life based on lies will one of the following symptoms:
Although sometimes a physician can safely prescribe a medication which can help with restoring a chemical balance, if one does not work on changing one’s habits of thinking one will not be able to claim the life one deserves. One might feel a little better within the context of one’s tiny, safe world, but one will not be able to expand one’s life. One will still be existing in a tiny world. In order to live and not just exist one has to find a way out of the that tiny world. The old adage “This truth will set one free.” is indeed true. This is not to say that one is suddenly going to change one’s basic introvert personality/life dance to one of extrovert. One will, however, be choosing a life base on who they are and not on their fear or other lies. One can dream and realize their dreams.
Written July 26, 2017
From the moment, one is born one begins to accumulate “truths” about oneself and the world. Some believe and some studies seem to confirm that one may even began to learn “truths” whileo one is still in the womb.
Most of one’s early truths are dependent on one’s immediate environment which may be quite small. A parent or parents, possibly grandparents, other relatives, sometimes siblings, peers as one grows and the general environmental which comprises one‘s world are the source of these truths or at least the truths one thinks one is hearing or experiencing. One may also enter this life journey with or without some parts of one’s brain which facilitate the development of one’s sense of worth, belongingness (to a tribe) and ability to begin to learn to function in this world.
Sadly, either one is not told or one is told before one has the ability to comprehend, that one needs to question all these truths. As a result, one may decide one’s worth and much of one’s behavior based on these unexamined truths. Some of these truths may be:
- You are not smart enough.
- You are not attractive enough.
- You are not strong.
- You do not have courage.
- You do not have a good heart.
- Life is too much for fragile you and, thus, you must find a way to numb yourself.
- You are not allowed to dream or to realize those dreams.
- You must stay in a tiny bubble to be safe.
- You are entitled to live “the good life” without having to work to obtain it.
- Money, prestige, position, education or something else outside of yourself will determine your worth.
If one is lucky, at some point in time, one realizes that one has the power to question all these truths. One can then hire a therapist, find a trusted mentor, a 12-step program, or a spiritual guide to help one identify and closely exam these so-called truths. One will find that many of them are lies. Once one determines which ones are lies one can articulate new truths and then go about the very tedious process of practicing these new truths until they are a habitual way of thinking. This is, of course, an ongoing process which we will be doing rest of one’s lives. Every day, if one is lucky, one identifies a new lie that has been restricting one’s lives and a new truth which can enlarge one’s life.
Sometimes the first indication that one is living a significant portion of one’s life based on lies will one of the following symptoms:
- Chronic anxiety/fear.
- Chronic depression/feeling of hopeless. (This is not clinical depression which may require medication to restore a chemical balance.)
- Chronic nuisance medical issues which cannot be linked to a diagnosable illness/condition.
- Substance abuse and/or addiction.
- Other constant self-sabotaging behavior.
- Repeating negative habits or patterns of behavior which we learned from our family of origin and swore we would never, ever repeat.
- Frequent anger accompanied by victim statements.
- Frequent putting ourselves down- self-criticism.
- Passive-aggressive behavior.
- Hearing ourselves repeatedly saying to others “I hate you. Please take care of me.”
- Pushing others away every time they begin to show one love.
Although sometimes a physician can safely prescribe a medication which can help with restoring a chemical balance, if one does not work on changing one’s habits of thinking one will not be able to claim the life one deserves. One might feel a little better within the context of one’s tiny, safe world, but one will not be able to expand one’s life. One will still be existing in a tiny world. In order to live and not just exist one has to find a way out of the that tiny world. The old adage “This truth will set one free.” is indeed true. This is not to say that one is suddenly going to change one’s basic introvert personality/life dance to one of extrovert. One will, however, be choosing a life base on who they are and not on their fear or other lies. One can dream and realize their dreams.
Written July 26, 2017
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