The “right” decisions?
I am fascinated with the fact that it is important to so many of us that we think we have the correct answer, fact or solution. We know, of course, that irrespective of the world wide web all of us have limited access to information which is guaranteed to be accurate. Every minute of every day we are finding out that some “fact” was, in fact, not a fact at all. We also know that our perception is influenced by many factors and our memory is very selective. I can, with certainty, say: “My memory is that such and such happened.” or I can say, “I feel certain that I saw X which may or may not have been X.” I can also assert that “According to a recent National Geographic article such and such is true.” I can say that at this very moment, my reality is that the sun is shining and I experience the sky as blue.” Of course, we know the sky is not really blue. I can also say: “I am reasonably certain that I am not dreaming or hallucinating and, in fact, I am standing at the counter in my condo on the 16th floor typing at 9:52 a.m., Central standard time, in Tulsa, Oklahoma on March 3, 2021. I am typing on what is labeled a MacBook Air. I am reasonably certain that it is in fact an Apple product and not a counterfeit.”
As any of my friends, colleagues or readers of this blog will tell you I have some very definite opinions on a wide variety of subjects. Many people I personally know hold very different opinions. Fortunately, I hold limited positions of power which permit me to make decision which affect the lives of others. For that I am grateful. I do not envy those who may made recommendation or issue state-wide orders about when and to what extent to allow businesses to fully reopen. Some politicians are making what seems like politically expedient decisions on this matter and some are deferring to medical authorities. It may or may not be easy to determine who made the best decisions for the medical health of individuals and the financial health of the community until in a week or a month one can tally up the number of new cases and new deaths.
I do make educated guesses about the mental diagnosis of individuals and may even make recommendations for a course or treatments. My intention is to make it clear that the best I can do is to make an educated guess based on past case histories and research reports.
When it comes to beliefs about religion, sexual behavior between consenting adults, allowing the teenage children to attend X event, how long one can safely wait to put on a new roof, whether being a vegan is the only moral choice, whether to take a morning after pill, or a host of other decisions I may or may not have an opinion. I certainly cannot claim to know the one right answer.
I empathize with the fear of making a decision which will have adverse effects on x person or persons. I also empathize with the fear that if one is wrong about X one may be wrong about many other issues. It would be the be easy to become paralyzed and refuse to make any decisions which could have very negative consequences.
I love the Quaker method of making all major decisions by consensus. No decisions is made until all agree. I am not sure how this work in Quaker marriages. Perhaps someone has researched this issue. My understanding is that discernment - searching for truth, remaining open to the Light beyond the self.” is important in their individual and community lives. (pym.org/faith). Ideally, this means that one begins discernment with an open mind and knowing that one does not know. Easier said than done especially in a busy community or in institutions such as Quaker universities. My experience is that even with Quakers the need to be right can surreptitiously sneak in.
It seems that us humans are stuck attempting to balance the need to act with the acceptance and humility of knowing we are merely making educated guesses most of the time. The more we share the responsibility of making those decisions the easier it is to move on when a decision has more negative than positive consequences.
Written March 3, 2021
Jimmy F Pickett
C oachpickett.org
I am fascinated with the fact that it is important to so many of us that we think we have the correct answer, fact or solution. We know, of course, that irrespective of the world wide web all of us have limited access to information which is guaranteed to be accurate. Every minute of every day we are finding out that some “fact” was, in fact, not a fact at all. We also know that our perception is influenced by many factors and our memory is very selective. I can, with certainty, say: “My memory is that such and such happened.” or I can say, “I feel certain that I saw X which may or may not have been X.” I can also assert that “According to a recent National Geographic article such and such is true.” I can say that at this very moment, my reality is that the sun is shining and I experience the sky as blue.” Of course, we know the sky is not really blue. I can also say: “I am reasonably certain that I am not dreaming or hallucinating and, in fact, I am standing at the counter in my condo on the 16th floor typing at 9:52 a.m., Central standard time, in Tulsa, Oklahoma on March 3, 2021. I am typing on what is labeled a MacBook Air. I am reasonably certain that it is in fact an Apple product and not a counterfeit.”
As any of my friends, colleagues or readers of this blog will tell you I have some very definite opinions on a wide variety of subjects. Many people I personally know hold very different opinions. Fortunately, I hold limited positions of power which permit me to make decision which affect the lives of others. For that I am grateful. I do not envy those who may made recommendation or issue state-wide orders about when and to what extent to allow businesses to fully reopen. Some politicians are making what seems like politically expedient decisions on this matter and some are deferring to medical authorities. It may or may not be easy to determine who made the best decisions for the medical health of individuals and the financial health of the community until in a week or a month one can tally up the number of new cases and new deaths.
I do make educated guesses about the mental diagnosis of individuals and may even make recommendations for a course or treatments. My intention is to make it clear that the best I can do is to make an educated guess based on past case histories and research reports.
When it comes to beliefs about religion, sexual behavior between consenting adults, allowing the teenage children to attend X event, how long one can safely wait to put on a new roof, whether being a vegan is the only moral choice, whether to take a morning after pill, or a host of other decisions I may or may not have an opinion. I certainly cannot claim to know the one right answer.
I empathize with the fear of making a decision which will have adverse effects on x person or persons. I also empathize with the fear that if one is wrong about X one may be wrong about many other issues. It would be the be easy to become paralyzed and refuse to make any decisions which could have very negative consequences.
I love the Quaker method of making all major decisions by consensus. No decisions is made until all agree. I am not sure how this work in Quaker marriages. Perhaps someone has researched this issue. My understanding is that discernment - searching for truth, remaining open to the Light beyond the self.” is important in their individual and community lives. (pym.org/faith). Ideally, this means that one begins discernment with an open mind and knowing that one does not know. Easier said than done especially in a busy community or in institutions such as Quaker universities. My experience is that even with Quakers the need to be right can surreptitiously sneak in.
It seems that us humans are stuck attempting to balance the need to act with the acceptance and humility of knowing we are merely making educated guesses most of the time. The more we share the responsibility of making those decisions the easier it is to move on when a decision has more negative than positive consequences.
Written March 3, 2021
Jimmy F Pickett
C oachpickett.org
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