The Serenity Prayer
When Reinhold Niebuhr penned what has become known as the serenity prayer he was “merely” passing along the wisdom of the ancient stoic philosophers such as Zeno of Cilium (322-2672 BC) , Aristo of Chios, Herillus of Carthage and others. References to Zeno and others are found in the writing attributed to Aristotle and other philosophers.
I was reminded this morning of the stoic philosophers while listening to a conversation on the podcast Hidden Brain between William Irvine and the host, Shankar Vedantam. This episode is entitled “Minimizing Pain and Maximizing Joy”. I was also immediately reminded of the short version of the serenity prayer:
God grant me the grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed.
Courage to change the things
which should be changed
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.
The Stoics believed that the goal of this life journey was happiness which entailed living in agreement with nature. Professor Irvine gives the example of the female surfer who arm was bitten off by a shark. As soon as she is able she teaches herself to surf with only one arm. He also gives the example of the astronaut learning to land the craft on the moon and nearly getting killed when it malfunctioned and crashed. Following the crash, the astronaut was calmly completing the requisite paperwork.
We are all aware that life shows up no matter what we do. Certainly, we can wear seat belts, avoid walking on an icy sidewalk, get help with living with chronic illness such as addiction, diabetes, clinical depression or some other. We can build a storm shelter if we live in a tornado zone. We can hire a professional plumber to minimize future flooding of our home or set a timer to remember to turn off the kitchen range. Yet, no matter how pro-active and careful we are there we find:
Many of us have a habit of getting unhappy and perhaps angry over events which result in negative consequences. Us humans like the illusion of being in control and we expect ourselves and others to act in a way which does not cause harm. Obviously there are many events and actions over which we have no control . Sharks do show up; machines malfunction; we forget to turn off the gas or to notice the ice we slip on; others are unable to stop their addictive behavior; young mothers, fathers and even children die our spouse falls in love with someone else; our boss treats us unfairly; covid-19 visits and our business folds; climate change happens causing food shortages and other issues; a drunk driver hits us and our children die in the ensuing crash; several hurricanes visit the same area causing massive damage and resulting in many being homeless.
I am sure everyone can create a list of actions over which they have no control. I am sure that all of us have a long list of how we and others should behave. Yet, life shows up revealing our own humanness, that of others and the seemingly inconsiderate behavior of mother nature. The only control we have is what we learn and how we respond.
The stoics divided virtue into four main types: wisdom, justice, courage and moderation. Wisdom was subdivided into good sense, good calculation, quick wittedness, discretion and resourcefulness. Justice is subdivided into piety, honesty, equity and fair dealing. The stoics recognized these as goals. Reinhold Niebuhr knew the serenity prayer was a goal which required prayer and practice.
Today, the lessons or truths I want to remember are.
Written December 15, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
When Reinhold Niebuhr penned what has become known as the serenity prayer he was “merely” passing along the wisdom of the ancient stoic philosophers such as Zeno of Cilium (322-2672 BC) , Aristo of Chios, Herillus of Carthage and others. References to Zeno and others are found in the writing attributed to Aristotle and other philosophers.
I was reminded this morning of the stoic philosophers while listening to a conversation on the podcast Hidden Brain between William Irvine and the host, Shankar Vedantam. This episode is entitled “Minimizing Pain and Maximizing Joy”. I was also immediately reminded of the short version of the serenity prayer:
God grant me the grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed.
Courage to change the things
which should be changed
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.
The Stoics believed that the goal of this life journey was happiness which entailed living in agreement with nature. Professor Irvine gives the example of the female surfer who arm was bitten off by a shark. As soon as she is able she teaches herself to surf with only one arm. He also gives the example of the astronaut learning to land the craft on the moon and nearly getting killed when it malfunctioned and crashed. Following the crash, the astronaut was calmly completing the requisite paperwork.
We are all aware that life shows up no matter what we do. Certainly, we can wear seat belts, avoid walking on an icy sidewalk, get help with living with chronic illness such as addiction, diabetes, clinical depression or some other. We can build a storm shelter if we live in a tornado zone. We can hire a professional plumber to minimize future flooding of our home or set a timer to remember to turn off the kitchen range. Yet, no matter how pro-active and careful we are there we find:
- We sometimes make a mistake with negative consequences.
- Someone else does something having negative consequences which affects us.
- We act as if mother nature should adjust to our wants and needs.
- Mother nature causes damage for which we could not prepare.
Many of us have a habit of getting unhappy and perhaps angry over events which result in negative consequences. Us humans like the illusion of being in control and we expect ourselves and others to act in a way which does not cause harm. Obviously there are many events and actions over which we have no control . Sharks do show up; machines malfunction; we forget to turn off the gas or to notice the ice we slip on; others are unable to stop their addictive behavior; young mothers, fathers and even children die our spouse falls in love with someone else; our boss treats us unfairly; covid-19 visits and our business folds; climate change happens causing food shortages and other issues; a drunk driver hits us and our children die in the ensuing crash; several hurricanes visit the same area causing massive damage and resulting in many being homeless.
I am sure everyone can create a list of actions over which they have no control. I am sure that all of us have a long list of how we and others should behave. Yet, life shows up revealing our own humanness, that of others and the seemingly inconsiderate behavior of mother nature. The only control we have is what we learn and how we respond.
The stoics divided virtue into four main types: wisdom, justice, courage and moderation. Wisdom was subdivided into good sense, good calculation, quick wittedness, discretion and resourcefulness. Justice is subdivided into piety, honesty, equity and fair dealing. The stoics recognized these as goals. Reinhold Niebuhr knew the serenity prayer was a goal which required prayer and practice.
Today, the lessons or truths I want to remember are.
- Focus my energy on what I can learn and what action is possible now.
- Drop the dualities. Do not label myself, others or events as good, bad, right or wrong.
- Be cautions of artificial constructs to avoid facing myself and my journey, racism, sexism, homophobia, ageism, nationalism, religious self-righteousness.
- Do ask if my behavior this instant is in harmony with nature. Am I looking at long term consequences?
- Life is a journey and not a destination
- Let go of expectation and accept what is.
- Ae I learn and relearn my understanding of wisdom, justice, courage and moderation will change.
- Laugh often.
- There are no new lessons, just new understanding of age-old lessons.
Written December 15, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
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