The simplicity of love
This morning I was listening to a rebroadcast of the February 22, 2009 On Being podcast entitled “The Soul in Depression.” One of Krista Tippett’s conversation partners was Parker Palmer whose books on such subjects as healing and vocation have often challenged me to think outside of the boxes by which I often limit myself. Parker Palmer as had Ms. Tippett and all of our guests for this podcast experienced a profound clinical depression. As all who have experienced that deep hole of depression know, it feels as if one cannot touch or be touched by anyone or anything, Things or acts which one may cognitively know has brought joy to one in the past is, at that time, emotionally beyond one’s experience.
When he was in the hole of depression Mr. Palmer says a friend , after asking his permission, came to visit every day, took off his shoes and socks and massaged his feet. This was a Quaker elder who knew the value of both silence and touch/connection. He did not offer advice and only occasionally offered a comment or word of comfort. Mr. Palmer says, “And the act of massaging just, you, know, in a way that I really don’t have words for, keep me connected with the human race.”
Often, if one is attempting to survive a clinical depression, the loss of a child or some other profound loss of connection, others will avoid one because they do know what to say or how to act. The truth is that often there is nothing one can say that is going to feel helpful. On the other hand, a mere presence which asks or demands nothing in returns, even a thank you, might just be the lifeline which keeps one hanging on through this period.
My experience is that the most powerful and appreciated gifts are often just a quiet presence or some simple act of care taking. In the New Testament of the Christian religion, on the day before he dies, Jesus washes the feet of the disciples. This simple act of humility which was seldom performed by a host, in my mind summarized the teachings of Jesus. Although the need to wash one’s feet or to have a servant wash one’s feet after walking through the dusty streets in sandals was common, it was not, however, a task performed by a host. The host would either give one water or have a servant bring water and, in some case, the servant washed one’s feet. Here is Jesus, the wise teacher who some would come to call the son of God, humbly washing the feet of the disciples. All that needs to be said about love – love which does not demand anything in return and which says that we are to take care of each other – that we are all equally deserving of forgiveness, acceptance and unconditional love – of love that says that I am here use me – is contained in this simple act.
Whether it is two world leaders, a parent and a child, a teacher and a student, a rich person and a homeless person, a scholar and an illiterate a meeting to just care for each other might do more towards acceptance of our common humanity and our ability to work and play together than anything else we can do.
Again I am reminded that “The first shall be last and the last shall be first.” We can indeed massage/wash each others feet and in so doing reclaim our sacred connection with each other..
Loving is indeed simple.
Written March 23, 2018
This morning I was listening to a rebroadcast of the February 22, 2009 On Being podcast entitled “The Soul in Depression.” One of Krista Tippett’s conversation partners was Parker Palmer whose books on such subjects as healing and vocation have often challenged me to think outside of the boxes by which I often limit myself. Parker Palmer as had Ms. Tippett and all of our guests for this podcast experienced a profound clinical depression. As all who have experienced that deep hole of depression know, it feels as if one cannot touch or be touched by anyone or anything, Things or acts which one may cognitively know has brought joy to one in the past is, at that time, emotionally beyond one’s experience.
When he was in the hole of depression Mr. Palmer says a friend , after asking his permission, came to visit every day, took off his shoes and socks and massaged his feet. This was a Quaker elder who knew the value of both silence and touch/connection. He did not offer advice and only occasionally offered a comment or word of comfort. Mr. Palmer says, “And the act of massaging just, you, know, in a way that I really don’t have words for, keep me connected with the human race.”
Often, if one is attempting to survive a clinical depression, the loss of a child or some other profound loss of connection, others will avoid one because they do know what to say or how to act. The truth is that often there is nothing one can say that is going to feel helpful. On the other hand, a mere presence which asks or demands nothing in returns, even a thank you, might just be the lifeline which keeps one hanging on through this period.
My experience is that the most powerful and appreciated gifts are often just a quiet presence or some simple act of care taking. In the New Testament of the Christian religion, on the day before he dies, Jesus washes the feet of the disciples. This simple act of humility which was seldom performed by a host, in my mind summarized the teachings of Jesus. Although the need to wash one’s feet or to have a servant wash one’s feet after walking through the dusty streets in sandals was common, it was not, however, a task performed by a host. The host would either give one water or have a servant bring water and, in some case, the servant washed one’s feet. Here is Jesus, the wise teacher who some would come to call the son of God, humbly washing the feet of the disciples. All that needs to be said about love – love which does not demand anything in return and which says that we are to take care of each other – that we are all equally deserving of forgiveness, acceptance and unconditional love – of love that says that I am here use me – is contained in this simple act.
Whether it is two world leaders, a parent and a child, a teacher and a student, a rich person and a homeless person, a scholar and an illiterate a meeting to just care for each other might do more towards acceptance of our common humanity and our ability to work and play together than anything else we can do.
Again I am reminded that “The first shall be last and the last shall be first.” We can indeed massage/wash each others feet and in so doing reclaim our sacred connection with each other..
Loving is indeed simple.
Written March 23, 2018
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