The small stuff
1997 saw the publication of Richard Carlson’s book Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff and It’s All Small Stuff; Simple Ways to Keep the Little Things from Taking Over Your Life.
When one is young and attempting to identify and claim one’s identity while sorting through all the conflicting messages or so called “truths” which are handed one, life can become very serious. Mistakes are huge. Being bullied or criticized is traumatic. Having parents who are different or seem different than those of one’s peers can send one into very dark places from which it might seem as if one will never emerge. Worse yet, or so it may seem, is being significantly different from one’s peers. One can be different financially, have parents who are famous are politically outspoken, have family secrets such as addiction and other mental illness, or have parents who are in jail or deceased. One many be lacking positive role models or heroes. Hormonal changes can result in experiencing life events as reasons for hiding in one’s room (if one has a room) for the next 50 years or even to contemplate suicide.
Most of us grow past these early stages of existential angst and settle into adulthood expecting new challenges in our life dance. Yet, loss of a child, getting fired, divorce, a pandemic, war, realizing we are powerless over our children and a host of other issues may register as something other than “small stuff”. Some days even relatively minor issues such as the coffee pot overflowing because one intended to make a cup but programmed it for a pot can seem overwhelming and send one into a two-year-old kicking and screaming fit. Political issues, community issues, even the costume selection of our teenage children, can send one over the edge. Yet, there sits Richard Carlson’s book, the mocking, sweet lilting voice of a clergy person or a Buddhist nun asserting that a truly enlightened person does not sweat the small stuff and it and it’s all small stuff. Now it is a time to have another breakdown because one has failed at being evolving spiritually. We are sure that our failure to not sweat the small stuff has assured us a permanent dunce cap. Some internal voice screams: “Loser! Loser! Loser!
Occasionally, one might, as did a friend of mine, have a moment of truly feeling as if it is all small stuff; that it is perfectly fine to be the human one is; that all one has to do is to show up and do one’s best and love as best one can just for today. One has nothing to prove and no one to impress. If one died at that moment all would be well. Of course, soon life shows up and, once again, serenity is gone, and one knows, without a doubt, Mr. Carlson and other spiritual giants have never experienced life on life’s terms. They obviously live in some protected bubble from which space they just notice events without the need to label them as good or bad. They just are!
The truth is, of course, that all of us, at best, have only moments of serenity. We may truly know that it is all small stuff but the best we can do is to occasionally settle into those moments of serenity and peace. The truth is that is that the spiritual gurus are spiritual gurus merely because they have come to accept there are only moments. They still get anxious and fearful, curse the God of their understanding and experience emotional breakdowns. They attempt to practice just noticing these times, breathe and patiently wait for those Richard Carlson moments. They know the road to Richard Carlson moments is peppered with colorful outbursts, There are only occasional moments of not sweating the small stuff and knowing it is all small stuff.
Written July 9, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
1997 saw the publication of Richard Carlson’s book Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff and It’s All Small Stuff; Simple Ways to Keep the Little Things from Taking Over Your Life.
When one is young and attempting to identify and claim one’s identity while sorting through all the conflicting messages or so called “truths” which are handed one, life can become very serious. Mistakes are huge. Being bullied or criticized is traumatic. Having parents who are different or seem different than those of one’s peers can send one into very dark places from which it might seem as if one will never emerge. Worse yet, or so it may seem, is being significantly different from one’s peers. One can be different financially, have parents who are famous are politically outspoken, have family secrets such as addiction and other mental illness, or have parents who are in jail or deceased. One many be lacking positive role models or heroes. Hormonal changes can result in experiencing life events as reasons for hiding in one’s room (if one has a room) for the next 50 years or even to contemplate suicide.
Most of us grow past these early stages of existential angst and settle into adulthood expecting new challenges in our life dance. Yet, loss of a child, getting fired, divorce, a pandemic, war, realizing we are powerless over our children and a host of other issues may register as something other than “small stuff”. Some days even relatively minor issues such as the coffee pot overflowing because one intended to make a cup but programmed it for a pot can seem overwhelming and send one into a two-year-old kicking and screaming fit. Political issues, community issues, even the costume selection of our teenage children, can send one over the edge. Yet, there sits Richard Carlson’s book, the mocking, sweet lilting voice of a clergy person or a Buddhist nun asserting that a truly enlightened person does not sweat the small stuff and it and it’s all small stuff. Now it is a time to have another breakdown because one has failed at being evolving spiritually. We are sure that our failure to not sweat the small stuff has assured us a permanent dunce cap. Some internal voice screams: “Loser! Loser! Loser!
Occasionally, one might, as did a friend of mine, have a moment of truly feeling as if it is all small stuff; that it is perfectly fine to be the human one is; that all one has to do is to show up and do one’s best and love as best one can just for today. One has nothing to prove and no one to impress. If one died at that moment all would be well. Of course, soon life shows up and, once again, serenity is gone, and one knows, without a doubt, Mr. Carlson and other spiritual giants have never experienced life on life’s terms. They obviously live in some protected bubble from which space they just notice events without the need to label them as good or bad. They just are!
The truth is, of course, that all of us, at best, have only moments of serenity. We may truly know that it is all small stuff but the best we can do is to occasionally settle into those moments of serenity and peace. The truth is that is that the spiritual gurus are spiritual gurus merely because they have come to accept there are only moments. They still get anxious and fearful, curse the God of their understanding and experience emotional breakdowns. They attempt to practice just noticing these times, breathe and patiently wait for those Richard Carlson moments. They know the road to Richard Carlson moments is peppered with colorful outbursts, There are only occasional moments of not sweating the small stuff and knowing it is all small stuff.
Written July 9, 2020
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
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