That is interesting – Political Invitations
This morning I was talking to someone about how difficult it is to not react to the addictive behavior of an individual. Earlier I had been watching television news while on the treadmill at the gym. Thankfully this is the only time I see network news. I do read a couple of newspapers and listen to NPR.
The current presidential primary race in the United States reminds me a lot of a family who is living with addiction or some other illness which regularly attempts to force the family to allow it to kidnap the family. It seems as if many in the United States, including those who report the news in various mediums, constantly fall into the trap of reacting to the candidates. It does seem as if Mr. Trump is particularly adept at extending an invitation for others to react to him, thus insuring him free news coverage and eliciting further reactive and outrageous statements from him. And here I am, at another level, reacting to him by using his brilliant campaign as an example. I used the word brilliant because I am not aware of any other candidate in recent history who has been as adept in getting the representatives of the news media and others to react to him. He then responds to their reaction in a way which elicits yet another defensive reaction.
Buddhist teachers under whom I have studied or whose words of wisdom I read or listen to, frequently remind one that the spiritual goal is to not allow oneself to be sucked into the internal or external drama which we humans seem to be so adept at creating. We seem to easily become habituated to judging both internal and external behavioral reports. We are likely to say that some thought or action is good or bad – right or wrong – decent or indecent – dumb or scholarly – rational or irrational. This then feeds a dialogue which serves only to elicit further responses and/or to keep the focus on the drama rather than problem solving in a constructive manner.
Buddhist teachers advise me to just notice the internal or external comments without engaging in dualistic thinking or behavior. I may say to myself or even to someone else (although it may be more effective to silently say it to myself) “That is interesting.” Instead I may say to myself in word or deed, “This is a crisis. You have to fix this. It is your fault.” The ideal response might be, “Hmm. That is interesting.” or, better yet, to just say it silently to oneself. It is very difficult for the other person or group to carry on an extensive conversation if there is no response. The other person might keep increasing the drama in hopes of eventually eliciting a response, but eventually, he or she will tire of the attempt. It is as if the other person is inviting one to play the game of “the dirty dozen.” This is a typically urban negative, verbal game of insulting the “other” usually by suggesting one’s mother is one of the lowest of the cheapest street whores. Each of the opponents keeps upping the ante until the suggestions of the behavior of one’s mother is beyond disgusting.
Some people, including the addict or any other bully, are extremely skilled at this game. The more ridiculous the accusation, the more likely one may respond. For example, if the adult addict is being financially supported by his or her family and they are told that they have to start doing something to be self-supporting, they might directly or indirectly say, “You are ruining my life. You have always loved my sibling more than me. No wonder I cannot accomplish anything. I have to put up with your crap!” Now, the truth is that this person is an adult, can leave anytime they choose, can take any job which would allow them to be self-supporting, and can work with their sponsor to look at making healthier choices, but instead they will blame their parents or other family members. The family members are often likely to accept the bait and become defensive.
We may think the alcohol or drug addict has the “excuse” of their addiction. We may not think of the politician as being addicted to power. The excuse of the politician is needing to win the election by any means possible then later, if successful, blaming their behavior on the political process. As I have previously suggested addiction to power is just as destructive as addiction to alcohol or other drugs.
If, for example, a political candidate suggests that Mexico pay for a wall which would physically separate the countries many people feel compelled to say that the suggestion is ridiculous.
The real issue for the addict is his or her relationship with the disease of addiction. The real issues regarding immigration are numerous requiring a compassionate, multi-faceted approach.
The temptation when someone says something outrageous which is intended to keep the real issue at bay, is to respond to the bogus issue. Often it is said with such authority and apparent conviction that we feel a need to accept the invitation to respond.
Responding from our heart and the rational part of our brain is not always easy. It sounds easy to accept that someone such as Mr. Trump or some other politician is just attempting to use outrageous sound bites to avoid the fact that most issues are complicated and require thoughtful, complicated responses, but it is easy for we humans to feel as if we have to respond to outrageous or patently illogical statements. It also sounds easy for those of us who may have years of experience with addicts and others whose brain seems to be on vacation to not accept the invitation to the illogical or outrageous statements, but the truth is that it is not easy to simply lovingly observe and respond with “Isn’t that interesting.” and not label the behavior as right, wrong, good or bad. The goal is to first not engage in our heads and, secondly, not engage verbally. This will tend to really confuse the person and to, thus, dilute the power of their illogical and outrageous behavior.
Addiction to power, alcohol, drugs, sex or some other person, place or thing control a part of brain which makes the addiction primary and, thus makes it impossible for the addict to consistently be logical or to accept and use their power to create the life they want and deserve.
There is no doubt in my mind that both the young man whose family is so concerned about his alcoholism and those candidates who addiction to power/winning is so strong that they would have to change their behavior if we quit accepting the invitation to their illogical and outrageous behavior.
Written May 9, 2016
This morning I was talking to someone about how difficult it is to not react to the addictive behavior of an individual. Earlier I had been watching television news while on the treadmill at the gym. Thankfully this is the only time I see network news. I do read a couple of newspapers and listen to NPR.
The current presidential primary race in the United States reminds me a lot of a family who is living with addiction or some other illness which regularly attempts to force the family to allow it to kidnap the family. It seems as if many in the United States, including those who report the news in various mediums, constantly fall into the trap of reacting to the candidates. It does seem as if Mr. Trump is particularly adept at extending an invitation for others to react to him, thus insuring him free news coverage and eliciting further reactive and outrageous statements from him. And here I am, at another level, reacting to him by using his brilliant campaign as an example. I used the word brilliant because I am not aware of any other candidate in recent history who has been as adept in getting the representatives of the news media and others to react to him. He then responds to their reaction in a way which elicits yet another defensive reaction.
Buddhist teachers under whom I have studied or whose words of wisdom I read or listen to, frequently remind one that the spiritual goal is to not allow oneself to be sucked into the internal or external drama which we humans seem to be so adept at creating. We seem to easily become habituated to judging both internal and external behavioral reports. We are likely to say that some thought or action is good or bad – right or wrong – decent or indecent – dumb or scholarly – rational or irrational. This then feeds a dialogue which serves only to elicit further responses and/or to keep the focus on the drama rather than problem solving in a constructive manner.
Buddhist teachers advise me to just notice the internal or external comments without engaging in dualistic thinking or behavior. I may say to myself or even to someone else (although it may be more effective to silently say it to myself) “That is interesting.” Instead I may say to myself in word or deed, “This is a crisis. You have to fix this. It is your fault.” The ideal response might be, “Hmm. That is interesting.” or, better yet, to just say it silently to oneself. It is very difficult for the other person or group to carry on an extensive conversation if there is no response. The other person might keep increasing the drama in hopes of eventually eliciting a response, but eventually, he or she will tire of the attempt. It is as if the other person is inviting one to play the game of “the dirty dozen.” This is a typically urban negative, verbal game of insulting the “other” usually by suggesting one’s mother is one of the lowest of the cheapest street whores. Each of the opponents keeps upping the ante until the suggestions of the behavior of one’s mother is beyond disgusting.
Some people, including the addict or any other bully, are extremely skilled at this game. The more ridiculous the accusation, the more likely one may respond. For example, if the adult addict is being financially supported by his or her family and they are told that they have to start doing something to be self-supporting, they might directly or indirectly say, “You are ruining my life. You have always loved my sibling more than me. No wonder I cannot accomplish anything. I have to put up with your crap!” Now, the truth is that this person is an adult, can leave anytime they choose, can take any job which would allow them to be self-supporting, and can work with their sponsor to look at making healthier choices, but instead they will blame their parents or other family members. The family members are often likely to accept the bait and become defensive.
We may think the alcohol or drug addict has the “excuse” of their addiction. We may not think of the politician as being addicted to power. The excuse of the politician is needing to win the election by any means possible then later, if successful, blaming their behavior on the political process. As I have previously suggested addiction to power is just as destructive as addiction to alcohol or other drugs.
If, for example, a political candidate suggests that Mexico pay for a wall which would physically separate the countries many people feel compelled to say that the suggestion is ridiculous.
The real issue for the addict is his or her relationship with the disease of addiction. The real issues regarding immigration are numerous requiring a compassionate, multi-faceted approach.
The temptation when someone says something outrageous which is intended to keep the real issue at bay, is to respond to the bogus issue. Often it is said with such authority and apparent conviction that we feel a need to accept the invitation to respond.
Responding from our heart and the rational part of our brain is not always easy. It sounds easy to accept that someone such as Mr. Trump or some other politician is just attempting to use outrageous sound bites to avoid the fact that most issues are complicated and require thoughtful, complicated responses, but it is easy for we humans to feel as if we have to respond to outrageous or patently illogical statements. It also sounds easy for those of us who may have years of experience with addicts and others whose brain seems to be on vacation to not accept the invitation to the illogical or outrageous statements, but the truth is that it is not easy to simply lovingly observe and respond with “Isn’t that interesting.” and not label the behavior as right, wrong, good or bad. The goal is to first not engage in our heads and, secondly, not engage verbally. This will tend to really confuse the person and to, thus, dilute the power of their illogical and outrageous behavior.
Addiction to power, alcohol, drugs, sex or some other person, place or thing control a part of brain which makes the addiction primary and, thus makes it impossible for the addict to consistently be logical or to accept and use their power to create the life they want and deserve.
There is no doubt in my mind that both the young man whose family is so concerned about his alcoholism and those candidates who addiction to power/winning is so strong that they would have to change their behavior if we quit accepting the invitation to their illogical and outrageous behavior.
Written May 9, 2016
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