Trauma and play
Yesterday I wrote about some of the benefits of play for children and adults. It is beneficial in the development of the brain which, of course, controls other parts of the human body. I also mentioned that it is beneficial for workers who need problem solving skills to perform their job. Actually this includes just about every job I can imagine. Even that person who is hired to function as a line person on the assembly line is going to need problem solving skills to deal with sudden malfunctioning of the equipment or issues with a co-worker. Certainly we all need those skills in our roles as parents, spouses, friends, sons, daughters, neighbors, community members, co-workers and environmental overseers.
As a counselor trained in clinical psychology who works with those who have survived living in a combat area, being raped, a tragedy such as 9/11, mass shootings such as the recent one in Orlando, Florida, the recent flooding in France and in parts of the United States or even the fallout from the vote by Britain to leave the European Union. Specifically, how is it that some people, although scarred for life, survive trauma with a modicum of psychological issues while others, even with intensive counseling or other assistance cannot seem to recover or heal?
I first was made acutely aware of this phenomenon when I first started working with veterans of the Vietnam War in which the United States interjected itself. These veterans had not only the trauma of living in combat – facing constant danger, losing friends, often feeling that as a leader they had made the wrong life and death decisions for the men (and women) for whom they were responsible, they had the trauma of returning home to find that they were considered bad people for having fought in an unjust war in which the United States should not have been involved. Often they were treated as enemies rather than as returning heroes who had done their duty to their country. Previously, I had met survivors of the death camps in Nazi Germany or others who had escaped the Nazi regime. Often, without denying the horrors of what they had experienced they had created a new, joyous life. The grief and the sadness never left them, but also did not prevent them from embracing the blessings of the present.
I set up to read as much as I could about this phenomenon. Authors, researchers and journalists such as Dr. Jay Lifton, Gloria Emerson, Dr. Alice Miller and a host of others helped me to gain a better understanding. Veterans themselves who were friends, colleagues and clients were also enormously generous with their time and patience. To all of these people I owe a debt of gratitude.
I discovered that there were several factors or abilities which those surviving combat and remaining emotionally healthy had in common.
· They had learned to play and enjoy life prior to going into a combat situation.
· They had a history of being problem solvers.
· They did not run from sad or other uncomfortable feelings.
· They did not use alcohol or other drugs to run from/hide from their feelings.
· They had the ability when combat did not occupy their full attention to take a moment to enjoy a sunset, a sunrise, a letter from home, the gift of friendships, a package of goodies from home or other positive events, but could immediately return their attention back to combat related danger or other necessary task any time.
· When they returned home they believed that they had a purpose whether that was helping other returning veterans and the family members of veterans still serving, working at a profession/job they thought was important or teaching their children or others what they had learned.
· If needed they could ask for assistance. Dealing with the issue(s); a test of their toughness as a male (or a female).
When I begin to work more with those who had lived through the trauma of rape, domestic violence, or oppression because of race, sexual orientation, gender, culture or other factors I asked some of the same questions. Again, although scarred, I was curious about what distinguished those who were able to claim or reclaim a life of joy and purpose without denying the deep wounds and scars they would carry throughout their lives. For the most part, the same habits, abilities and overall life dance carried them through and beyond the trauma.
As I discussed yesterday, play allows all of us to explore the world and our dance with the world around us. In play there is not generally a lot of rules (other than basic safety) and curiosity is free to roam around. Since there is no time clock or preconceived outcome one is free to be patient, fail, and try another hundred times. I imagined artists such as Georgia O’Keeffe who long after establishing herself as a well-respected artist commanding huge dollars for her work, painted the same flower over 100 times in a very experimental and playful manner. The first 99 might were not wrong but not what she was attempting to achieve. In my mind she was having enormous fun.
I can imagine the composer who first worked with dissonant chords. No one seems to know who first explored them. Could it have been Sergio Rachmaninoff, Samuel Barber, John Travener, Eric Whitacre, a jazz musician or someone fooling around on an instrument in a remote section of Africa? Someone had the courage to explore and dare to call it music.
Most, and I suspect all, of we adults and our children are going to experience major trauma in our life journey. In fact, we and our children are probably going to experiment trauma a number of times. We need to prepare our children for a dance of life which allows for healing, scarring and embracing the next phase of the dance. We can encourage our children to explore some of the skills I have outlined above. We can model the necessity of playing to sharpen or to keep sharp our problem solving skills.
Written June 25, 2016
Yesterday I wrote about some of the benefits of play for children and adults. It is beneficial in the development of the brain which, of course, controls other parts of the human body. I also mentioned that it is beneficial for workers who need problem solving skills to perform their job. Actually this includes just about every job I can imagine. Even that person who is hired to function as a line person on the assembly line is going to need problem solving skills to deal with sudden malfunctioning of the equipment or issues with a co-worker. Certainly we all need those skills in our roles as parents, spouses, friends, sons, daughters, neighbors, community members, co-workers and environmental overseers.
As a counselor trained in clinical psychology who works with those who have survived living in a combat area, being raped, a tragedy such as 9/11, mass shootings such as the recent one in Orlando, Florida, the recent flooding in France and in parts of the United States or even the fallout from the vote by Britain to leave the European Union. Specifically, how is it that some people, although scarred for life, survive trauma with a modicum of psychological issues while others, even with intensive counseling or other assistance cannot seem to recover or heal?
I first was made acutely aware of this phenomenon when I first started working with veterans of the Vietnam War in which the United States interjected itself. These veterans had not only the trauma of living in combat – facing constant danger, losing friends, often feeling that as a leader they had made the wrong life and death decisions for the men (and women) for whom they were responsible, they had the trauma of returning home to find that they were considered bad people for having fought in an unjust war in which the United States should not have been involved. Often they were treated as enemies rather than as returning heroes who had done their duty to their country. Previously, I had met survivors of the death camps in Nazi Germany or others who had escaped the Nazi regime. Often, without denying the horrors of what they had experienced they had created a new, joyous life. The grief and the sadness never left them, but also did not prevent them from embracing the blessings of the present.
I set up to read as much as I could about this phenomenon. Authors, researchers and journalists such as Dr. Jay Lifton, Gloria Emerson, Dr. Alice Miller and a host of others helped me to gain a better understanding. Veterans themselves who were friends, colleagues and clients were also enormously generous with their time and patience. To all of these people I owe a debt of gratitude.
I discovered that there were several factors or abilities which those surviving combat and remaining emotionally healthy had in common.
· They had learned to play and enjoy life prior to going into a combat situation.
· They had a history of being problem solvers.
· They did not run from sad or other uncomfortable feelings.
· They did not use alcohol or other drugs to run from/hide from their feelings.
· They had the ability when combat did not occupy their full attention to take a moment to enjoy a sunset, a sunrise, a letter from home, the gift of friendships, a package of goodies from home or other positive events, but could immediately return their attention back to combat related danger or other necessary task any time.
· When they returned home they believed that they had a purpose whether that was helping other returning veterans and the family members of veterans still serving, working at a profession/job they thought was important or teaching their children or others what they had learned.
· If needed they could ask for assistance. Dealing with the issue(s); a test of their toughness as a male (or a female).
When I begin to work more with those who had lived through the trauma of rape, domestic violence, or oppression because of race, sexual orientation, gender, culture or other factors I asked some of the same questions. Again, although scarred, I was curious about what distinguished those who were able to claim or reclaim a life of joy and purpose without denying the deep wounds and scars they would carry throughout their lives. For the most part, the same habits, abilities and overall life dance carried them through and beyond the trauma.
As I discussed yesterday, play allows all of us to explore the world and our dance with the world around us. In play there is not generally a lot of rules (other than basic safety) and curiosity is free to roam around. Since there is no time clock or preconceived outcome one is free to be patient, fail, and try another hundred times. I imagined artists such as Georgia O’Keeffe who long after establishing herself as a well-respected artist commanding huge dollars for her work, painted the same flower over 100 times in a very experimental and playful manner. The first 99 might were not wrong but not what she was attempting to achieve. In my mind she was having enormous fun.
I can imagine the composer who first worked with dissonant chords. No one seems to know who first explored them. Could it have been Sergio Rachmaninoff, Samuel Barber, John Travener, Eric Whitacre, a jazz musician or someone fooling around on an instrument in a remote section of Africa? Someone had the courage to explore and dare to call it music.
Most, and I suspect all, of we adults and our children are going to experience major trauma in our life journey. In fact, we and our children are probably going to experiment trauma a number of times. We need to prepare our children for a dance of life which allows for healing, scarring and embracing the next phase of the dance. We can encourage our children to explore some of the skills I have outlined above. We can model the necessity of playing to sharpen or to keep sharp our problem solving skills.
Written June 25, 2016
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